A/N 1: I (Michaela) forgot about this – I find it very hard to write for pairs I'm not used too. But Kate flew to the rescue. I can take absolutely no credit for this, apart from reading through and saying "That's great!"
A/N 2: I won't let Michaela get off that easy. I may have helped to write this story, but I gave her the final say as to whether it was acceptable to post. I also made sure the ideas I threw out at her were good enough to incorporate into a workable story. But I agree that it is very difficult to write for pairings that are out of my "norm". We hope you enjoy this last minute contribution. Also, if you must throw any rocks, please direct them at Kevin! Thank you. Kate.
Neither Michaela nor I own Criminal Minds. I wish we did…I'd love to hang JM on my wall and just watch him all day!
Song prompt: "I Will, But…" by SHeDAISY
I Will, But…
The lights were low, the candles lit, and soft music filled the room. It was going to be a night to end all nights…if Kevin Lynch got his way. He had waited long enough and now was his time to make a move.
Penelope Garcia pushed her plate away. "That was delicious," she complimented.
"Would you like another glass of wine?" he asked.
She raised an eyebrow. "Trying to get me drunk and have your way with me?"
"No."
"Then yes," she replied, extending her glass, "I'll take a half a glass." Waiting for him to pour, she sipped the robust rosé. Standing up, she moved to the couch. Sitting down, she looked around the festively decorated room she called home. It was outrageous, over the top, but it was hers. It was the first thing she ever owned that she could truly call her own - aside from Esther - and it would take a lot for her to part with it.
Taking the dishes to the quaint little annex mislabeled as a kitchen, Kevin placed them in the sink. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. Think Kevin, you can do this; just one little question, he encouraged himself. Patting the box in the pocket of his slacks, a smile came to his face.
Squaring his shoulders, he walked over to Pen. Sitting down beside her, he smiled. "How long have we been seeing each other?"
"Three years."
"And in that time, we still haven't taken that leap."
Pen's heart began to beat quickly. "Leap? You mean…?" She set her glass on the table.
"I want you to move in with me. Permanently."
Her eyes met his. "Really?"
"I am hoping that after we move in together, we might take that next step."
"So, when are you going to bring your stuff over?" Pen asked.
Kevin looked at her and blinked. "No. I meant that you would move in - literally - with me…at my place."
"But…but," she sputtered, "this is my home. My palace."
"This only has one room; my apartment has two. And when we take that next step, we are going to want to have a room for our baby." He took her hand in his and stroked it gently.
"Baby?" Pen repeated.
"Of course. A little girl just like her mother."
Pen thought it over. "What if I said yes?"
"I would say that I could have a moving truck here tomorrow. So, is it yes?"
"It's…a maybe."
"A maybe?" Kevin furrowed his brow in confusion.
"I will move in with you, but there are a couple of things I need to…set out there so you are aware of how my life is when you aren't here."
"Okay."
"I don't tend to have a lot of people over. My family and you…and the maintenance man, are perhaps the only people I let in. I don't throw parties of any kind."
He nodded. "Okay. No unwelcome visitors and no parties. Check."
"My door…our door will always be open for the team. No matter the time. No matter the circumstances." She watched him carefully. He held her gaze, but she could see doubt lying beneath his brown eyes. "Morgan gets carried a way once in a blue moon, and when he does, instead of driving, I let him sleep it off here."
"Here?"
"On the couch," she amended.
"Okay."
"Then there are the times when he can't walk, much less drive, and he might call me to come and get him."
"Uh…" Kevin felt himself begin to sweat.
"Then there is Henry," she continued, her eyes danced with love at the thought of her darling godson. "JJ might have to go to a State Department dinner or out of town on DOD business and I will have to watch him."
"How long does that usually take?"
"The longest was four days when JJ had to go to Yemen with the Secretary of State."
"Four days?" Kevin croaked.
"He was in day care for the morning and then I picked him up." She studied him carefully. "I thought you wanted kids."
"I do."
"Henry is a good start."
"He isn't yours."
"Not legally."
Kevin thought over her request. A drunk, skirt-chasing, playboy co-worker, and a toddler. He nodded. "Okay. Since it isn't every night it will be happening, I think I can deal with it. So, when will you move in?"
"There is one more thing…"
"Don't tell me that Agent Rossi is going to burst in on us expectedly at odd hours of the day and night?"
"No." She shook her head.
"I guess then, I can deal with anything."
Pen sipped her wine. Her request was a big one…bigger than the others, but how he handled it would be the determining factor if she took that leap.
"I want to keep all of my stuff."
Kevin's gaze roamed around the room at the odds and ends of furniture, knick nacks, etc… "Penelope…one of the reasons you move in with someone is to start fresh. I was going to get rid of most of my stuff and buy new."
"But my couch is paid for," she argued, "why would I want to go into debt to buy a new one?"
"Did you buy it?"
Pen smiled weakly. "It was given to me by my elderly neighbour who passed away a couple of years back. It has sentimental value."
"And it will have it for whoever gets it after you get rid of it."
"I like it. I want to keep it."
"Pen…"
"Along with my trolls, and dolls, and china bells."
"Honey, I think I haven't been clear about the term 'moving in'. You start fresh."
"I don't want to start fresh; I want to keep what I have at a new place."
"And what if we can't agree?" Kevin sighed.
"Then…I guess we don't move in together."
Kevin forced a smile. "It was a great idea at the time."
"It was. Maybe we're more different than we thought." Pen reached out and touched his arm.
"Yeah. I was prepared for the team and their demands on you, but…"
"The trolls and dolls were a bit much?" she finished.
He squeezed his forefinger and thumb together. "Just a little."
"I'm sorry."
A long moment of silence fell between them. Both wanted to ask the ultimate question, but neither wanted to know the answer.
"Where do we go from here?" Pen asked.
"Well…not in the direction I was hoping," Kevin joked weakly. "I think we might need time apart." Pen nodded. Standing up, Kevin looked around the room. "I will be by tomorrow for my stuff."
Pen nodded again. "If you're sure…"
"I'm pretty sure." Grabbing his coat, he slipped his arms in and zipped it up.
"We could talk about this." She walked over to where he stood. "We…we can work it out."
"It comes down to compromise. And that means all or nothing in my book." He touched her cheek. "I know you will find that man who will give you leeway when you hit him with 'I will, but…' Unfortunately, I'm not that guy."
Hugging her close, he tried to memorize the feel of her in his arms for that last time. Pulling away, he watched her face.
"What is that in your pocket?" she asked, fear darted across her features.
"Just a little something I had made for you if you had said yes."
"May I see it?" Taking the box out, he handed it to her. She opened it slowly. "A key?"
"To my place…had you said yes."
Closing the lid, she handed it back. "Thank you Kevin."
"Take care, Penelope."
"We'll still see each other at work."
"Yeah," he answered softly. He opened the door. "I'd better go." Pen nodded. "Take care." The door closed softly behind him.
Pen watched where her boyfriend and lover had just stood. Blinking back tears, she locked the door and turned out the lights. Slowly she made her way to the bedroom.
"You made the right choice, Pen," she encouraged herself as she looked around the decorated room. Grabbing her big stuffed troll, she crawled on the king sized bed, curled up and cried.
Tomorrow she was going to have to start over, but tonight she was going to lose herself to memories.
It was a long time before she fell asleep.
