Invisible
"Hey Gil!" I chirped happily as I walked up to my best friend who is a senior this year. I am only a grade below. He closed his locker, leaning against the metal door with his arm and the other hand casually occupying his jeans pocket. "Hey _, what's up?" "Well, I got an A+ in history class. What about you? Did you get an A on that Chemistry quiz?"
He shrugged a bit sheepishly, "A 'C+'." I frowned for a moment then smiled lightly, "Well it's definitely better than just passing with a 'D'. Although, I am disappointed, we worked like studied all weekend for that 'A'." He nodded, "Yeah, sorry about that, your cookies took up a lot of my concentration." I laughed, "Well I guess that's an acceptable excuse, but next time then we'll be snacking on green beans." He laughed and I grinned as he did so.
Then Eliza walked by us and Gil's ruby red eyes glowed brightly as he smiled even brighter. He stopped talking to me, as he stared after her. She reached Rodreich and both Gil and I scowled, though for different reasons. He sighed, crossing his arms angrily, "I wish she wasn't with him."
"Ah Gil, it's okay there are other fishes in the sea."
He nodded, "Yeah I know _, but still…"
I nodded, trying to be understanding. He never could take a hint, even if it hit him on the nose. "Gil, she doesn't even know you exist." I replied, trying to get him to see how much I wanted him the way he wanted her.
Suddenly he looked like he realized something, "That's it! _, I know what to do! I am going to show her I exist! I'll give her flowers and you know, try to woo her! Thanks!" He winked and grinned and took off waving, "Gotta go _, operation 'Get Eliza's Heart' is underway! Thanks for talking!" He called out still running.
"Wait! Gilbert!" I called out but it was impossible, he was too far gone.
I slammed my back against the locker. "You okay _?" A familiar voice asked. I turned to my other best friend Ludwig, he was a junior as well. "Yeah…no, I just don't get it. He doesn't see me like I see him, it's like I'm invisible to him. He has no idea how I feel about him."
"I can see that." He grumbled in his German accent. "My bruder can be a bit of dummknopf sometimes."
Tears bubbled up behind my eyes. Ludwig frowned, "Hey, it's alvright. He's not vorth crying over." Ludwig assured me. "You don't see him like I do Ludwig. To you, he's just your big brother, but to me he's…he's everything to me, he's my entire world.
Ludwig nodded, "Jah, okay, I get it. But ve better get to class before ve're late."
I nodded, and the two of us left to class.
At lunch the whole group of us sat together, Feliciano, Francis, Antonio, Gilbert, Ludwig and Kiku.
"So everyone, you're all coming over for the sleepover marathon party right?" I asked.
"Ve~ that sounds great _! What kind of movies?" Feliciano asked.
"Well I was thinking we could like all bring one, that way we all get to watch something we love." I replied.
"Sounds cool amiga!" Antonio replied.
I smiled, "Great! So is everything settled then?" Everyone nodded except Kiku. "Sorry _. I'm not allowed to be allowed over at a girl's house after five o'clock, let alone sleepover with your parents away for the weekend. If Mother and Father knew, they'd kill me."
"It's okay Kiku, maybe we can all catch a movie with you on another time huh?"
He nodded, "Sure."
Ludwig turned to me with serious but concerned eyes, "You're alone this veekend, but aren't you afraid of being alone?"
I nodded, "Yeah, that's why I want you guys over, silly."
"You sure your parents aren't going to freak that we are all going to sleeping at your house together and possibly pull some moves on you?" Francis said with a sly smile.
I laughed with flushed cheeks, "Of course not, they trust you guys wholeheartedly, they know you're my only friends and they aren't going to deny me the pleasures that other friend groups have. But if you try anything Francis, remember I have pepper spray." I said pretending to squirt him; he played along covering his eyes exclaiming dramatically, "Ah! My eyes! They burn!" We all laughed at the improvisation act. Francis and I did a mock bow; we were in Theatre class together. We would be playing Romeo and Juliet next month with us as the lead roles.
The bell rang, "Alright see you guys after school. Don't worry Gil, your sleepover stuff is all washed. So you're all good. Hey, you are heading to class right? You're not going to skip this period are yah?"
"Hell no," He laughed, "I always go to Trig, Eliza's in that class. Later and thanks for washing my stuff!" He said as he jogged off. I scowled "That idiot."
At three o'clock when they had all grabbed some sleepover items they parked outside my house. He was in his tan pickup truck with the guys in its bed. We looked at the choices everyone brought.
Feliciano - Sound of Music
Antonio - Zorro
Francis - What Woman Want
Ludwig - Saving Private Ryan
Gilbert - The Outsiders
As for me I chose a movie from my Dad's stash, it was a horror flick. I am terrified of horror movies, but this could be the edge I needed to get Gilbert closer to me. I had a feeling this might do the trick. Hopefully Gil would feel the need to protect me and hold me close.
When Ludwig saw my choice he furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me curiously, "But _ you hate scary movies. Vhy the hell vould you-," I cut him off by discreetly jerking my head lightly in Gil's direction. Gil was teasing Feliciano about his choice of movie. Ludwig's expression changed as he now understood my intentions immediately. "This is going to be my big break." I whispered with a wink. "I hope so." Ludwig nodded.
Gil looked at my choice and chuckled, "Keseses~ I didn't know you liked horror movies _."
"I don't but this one…looked interesting."
He shrugged, "Mine is definitely more awesome than anyone elses."
I grinned; I knew how much he loved those greaser movies.
We watched each one leaving mine to be last, and while Francis and Antonio covered Feliciano's ears and eyes, I sat between Ludwig and Gilbert. "Gil," I whispered as the creepy music played, tears of fright burning my eyes, "I'm scared."
"Hmm, what?" Gil asked.
"I'm scared." I whimpered.
"Then close your eyes and ears silly." He said with a bemused smile, then turned back to the movie.
I frowned, what was I supposed to do now? I was hurt that he didn't want to comfort me. I shivered, quaking with fear.
Suddenly I was pulled into Ludwig's lap and his big strong secure arms encased me. "Don't vorry, I'll protect you." He whispered the promise. I smiled and lay my head against his chest, "You're a good friend." I said. He nodded.
At the end of the movie we crawled into our sleeping bags all bunched up together to conserve body heat. This was stage too in my plan. "Gil, I'm cold." I whispered to him.
His back was to me, so I couldn't see his lips move when he answered, "Then go get a blanket."
"Too cold to get up."
He sighed and nodded, "Fine." He scooted back so his back was closer to me. I frowned, he didn't even try to cuddle me like I had hoped he would.
"Here, I know how cold you get." Ludwig whispered as he pulled me into his really freakishly warm arms.
"Thanks." I replied not letting my irritation catch in my voice. He nodded, resting his chin on my head.
The next day I made Gil's favorite breakfast, pancakes, and I did it just how he likes it.
"Oh jah! This is awesome! You know me like the back of your hand don't you _?" He said with a big grin.
I smiled and murmured, "You have no idea."
"What?" He asked.
"Um nothing." I replied.
He shrugged, "Okay."
Ludwig was helping me make breakfast and after we were finished he put my favorite breakfast in front of me. It was a bacon, mayo, lettuce and cheese sandwich.
I smiled at it; it had just the right amount of everything. "Thanks Ludwig."
"No problem." He said sitting beside me.
After awhile it was time for everyone to leave and I tried to catch Gilbert by surprise by kissing him on his lips I caught his cheek. Gil laughed and kissed my cheek too and tousled my hair. The other guys followed suit, making the kiss Gil gave me less meaning than it was. Ludwig kissed my forehead and hugged me, and asked me if he wanted me to stay because he didn't want me to be alone.
"Ludwig, please, I know you're just trying to be a good friend and I appreciate everything you did for me last night. But you really don't have to compensate for Gilbert, it's really not necessary. You really need to stop, I can't get anywhere with Gil if you keep this up."
He nodded, "I'm sorry _."
I gave him a hug happy he understood and he left.
On Monday, Eliza walked by me and Gilbert as we were talking. Gil smiled, "I heard Eliza and that pris are having problems right now. I'm going to ask her out." He said and began to walk away. "Wait, Gil there's something I have to tell you!" I exclaimed knowing it was now or never.
"Can't it wait till later?" He whined.
I paused, "Y-Yeah, go ahead. Good luck Gilbert."
He nodded with a smile and combed his hair real fast then took off. My shoulders dropped in defeat. I knew there was a possibility that he might come to me if he got rejected but still…
Suddenly my entire body went into a fit of tremors, and all my emotions broke through, releasing themselves, I was like a pent up volcano so pent up it had to be released, so I blew. I dropped to my knees, not caring about the bruises or nor my school stuff scattering on the floor as I let my hands cover my face to hide my suffocating tears that wracked my entire body. Gilbert, my best friend, could be such an insensitive jerk sometimes!
Ludwig saw her crying. I know she told me to stand back when she's trying to woo my brother, but I just can't stand to see her like this. I can't let his obliviousness just get the best of her. That's not what friends do! We comfort our friends, because it's our duty, whether they like it or not! He walked over to _ and bent down and tried to hug you.
I looked up with new found hope, "Gil! Oh." The hope was erased from me. I scowled, my anger took over and I took it out on Ludwig, "UGH! Ludwig! What are you doing here! Go away!" I yelled standing up, he did the same. "_ please, let me comfort you!"
"NO! Just stop it!" I screamed, tears pouring down my face, "I know you're just trying to help out, but friend or not, you're turning out to be just as much of a creep as Francis can be sometimes! Would you just leave me alone?"
"No." Ludwig said simply trying his best to be strong for her.
So pissed at his firm stand at trying to be the one to help me, I smacked him and then felt like a total jerk for doing so.
"I-I'm sorry Ludwig. I didn't- I mean I just…I'll make it up to you…I've got to go." I said weeping. He nodded as he held his cheek tenderly. I turned and ran.
He nodded keeping the stream of tears itching behind his eyes hidden; he would let no one know the feelings of pain that were stirring inside of him. She just had no idea. "Damn it Gil, if you could only see your best friend and want to make her happy, they way I want to, then I wouldn't have to clean up the messes you make.
At lunch I watched as Gil talked with Eliza. I noted that his shoulder's dropped in defeat as he trudged back over to his friends. "She rejected me." I grumbled stating the obvious. Trying to hint off again, I replied, "Don't worry about it Gil, there are other fish in the sea."
Even Spain tried to pitch in and help me, "I know this girl who is dying to go out with you."
"I heard she's in love with you." Francis nodded.
Gil shrugged bitterly, "You know, you guys keep telling me all this, but I want it to be Eliza. I don't care that she doesn't see how much I love her. But I'm going to wait a million years if needs be to get Eliza to notice and take me, and that's final. I love her, and I always will." He said with a nod.
"Wow…that's deep." Francis said giving me an 'I'm sorry' expression.
Spain gave me a small upturn of his lips in a failed attempt to smile.
Gil shrugged at Francis' statement.
Pissed and hurt that Gilbert didn't even want to try shot up from my seat, took my tray of untouched food and dumped it in the trash can and took off without a word.
"Vhoa, is she okay?" Gil asked concerned for his best friend.
"She's suffering from a broken heart." Ludwig growled lightly trying to keep his temper.
"Vhat! Who vould hurt our _!" Gil asked angrily.
Everyone looked down at their plates playing with their food, they knew that _ loved Gil and that Ludwig felt the same way about her. So they decided to not get into this.
Ludwig hesitated at first then bit out, "It was someone very close to her, someone she loves very much, but he doesn't feel the same way about her."
Gil was astounded, "Who vouldn't love our girl?"
"That's vhat we'd like to know." Ludwig said getting overly pissed about Gil's oblivious obnoxious self.
"Alright who vas it then, one of you guys? Vhat about you West, I know you're close vith her." Gilbert said.
Ludwig couldn't believe Gilbert would pin this on him! Ludwig stood up quickly, towering over his big brother. He socked Gil so hard in the face; Gil stumbled and fell into the trash can, holding his broken nose.
A lunch lady snapped, "Alright young man, to the principal's office! Right now!"
With his usual serious expression he hoisted his pack over his shoulder dumped the rest of his food on Gil and left.
When school ended that day, I found Ludwig opening his locker. I handed him a bag of his favorite cookies that I made in Culinary Essentials. "This is for hitting you, I'm sorry."
"Don't vorry about it." He replied solemnly.
"Heard you got suspended, what happened?"
"It vas nothing, it vas a stupid move."
"Oh."
I then saw Gilbert make his way towards us to get to his locker. I got a brilliant idea, it was the last thing I could think of that would catch Gilbert's attention.
"I'll do your homework for a week, just please forgive me for what I'm about to do." I whispered swiftly as I notice that Gilbert was getting closer.
"Vhat do you-," Ludwig was cut off as I threw my arms around him and made out with him. He hugged me close. I figured he was helping, trying to make it look convincing. I felt terrible for using him though, either way.
I heard Gilbert open his locker, acting like it was nothing to see me kissing his brother. I pulled away, and said, "Gil!"
"What?" He asked incredulously.
"I'm kissing your brother! Don't you have anything to say to me? Doesn't it bother you?" I exclaimed in shock.
He shrugged, "Not really, I thought you liked each other, what's up with you?"
"I'm mad Gil! That's what! What gave you any idea that me and Ludwig we're like that? We're just best friends! You aren't jealous that I was kissing him?" I asked him again.
"Why would I be? You're my best friend, I don't care who you go out with. But why are you upset? If you don't like him like that, then don't kiss him! Besides, if you cared so much what I thought about you kissing, then I say don't do it just because he's the one who broke my nose. Right after you left the lunch table no doubt."
I rounded on Ludwig, "You did! How could you!"
"_ it's not- you don't know the full story!"
"UGH! I'm walking home today! I'll see you guys tomorrow!" I growled storming off.
"_! Come back! It's not safe for you to walk home alone!"
"Then I'll get Francis or someone to come with me damn it!" I yelled, storming off.
"Verdamnit! You dummknopf!" Ludwig snarled at Gil, "You just can't take what you have when you have it can you!"
"What are you talking about!" Gilbert shouted.
"Ergh! Just get in the truck before I change my mind and dump you off at the side of the road!"
Francis dropped me off at my house and kissed my cheek, "I'm story about what happened." I shrugged, "It's whatever."
"Gil doesn't know what he's missing. But you know, I know a guy who's in love with you." Francis said.
"Thanks, but I don't want a blind date."
He nodded, "Okay, but I'm sure his offer still stands."
I kissed his cheek in return, "Thanks really, but I'll be fine."
He nodded, and made sure I got in the house alright.
"Sorry Lud, I tried." Francis said to himself as he walked home.
I slammed my door, and locked it. I leaned against it and slid down and hugged my knees, rocking against the door. Once again I had failed to gain my love's attention and to top it It off he thought I loved Ludwig. No one was here to comfort me when I most needed it, even Ludwig's comfort would've been nice right now, even though he was partly the reason of my anger. It was no use. To Gilbert, I'd always be invisible.
Gil flopped on his bed, holding a bag of ice to his broken nose. He had no idea what was up with his friends. Why would she kiss his brother if she didn't like him? Why did she care what he thought? He was too confused to make sense of it all. He looked at a snap shot he had taken of Eliza without her knowledge. He sighed sadly as he hugged a pillow. His yellow bird chirping as it sat on his head. To Eliza he'd always be invisible.
Ludwig locked his door, strapped on some boxing gloves, and took his rage out on the punching dummy. He turned on some loud music and shut his blinds a bit. He didn't want anyone to see or hear him cry out as he poured his heart and soul into what he did best, working out. To bed there was no way to train your heart not to get broken. He was so pissed that she had only kissed him to Gilbert jealous. No matter how awesome the kiss was. She rejected his wanting to comfort her. He knew her like the back of his palm, so why couldn't she see him? Why couldn't she take her own advice and seek the other fish in the sea, like himself? She was everything to him. But to _, he'd always be invisible.
It's hurtful how love works, in their squares, circles, triangles and chain like ways. There are just times when no one is happy and the tragic story of lover never ends. Sometimes even though there are other fish in the sea, you only want that big catch.
