What's Left Of Me
Summary: A R/Hr songfic to Nick Lachey's What's Left Of Me. It hit me while I was watching videos on YouTube. Pretty random, I know.
This is a day I'll never forget. The day that Harry and Hermione get married. I know, I know, I should happy for them, after all, they're my best friends. But instead I feel like someone's ripping my heart out of my chest, piece by piece. Every loving look that Harry gives Hermione makes me feel sicker and sicker.
I love that girl so much. I still can't believe I let her go.
Watch my life
Pass me by
In the rear view mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes
"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed as she opened the door, seeing me standing behind it. I smiled. She gave me a hug and asked why I was there.
"I dunno, I just wanted to see you." I said, looking down at the concrete steps and jamming my hands in my pockets.
"Well, come in, then." she said. I step in.
"Hermione, who's at the door?" I heard Harry's voice yell from the kitchen. Hermione's expression turned into one that I can't describe. Harry appeared out of the kitchen doorway, holding a cup of coffee in his left hand. And that's when I noticed the ring. I looked down at Hermione's left hand. There was one on her finger too. I looked up, flabberghasted. Hermione looked down at the tile floor, biting her lip. She looked up at me again.
"Uhm, Ron? Harry and I are...well, we're...we're getting...getting married." she said quietly. I was shocked.
"Can I talk to you outside, 'Mione?" I said. I walked out of the door as fast as I could, Hermione trailing feebly behind me. As soon as Hermione got outside, I slammed the door and went down onto the front garden.
"Did I just hear that right?" I said to her. I saw tears forming in her eyes.
"Ron, I know I should have told you sooner, but--" she began.
"But what exactly? I thought you loved me, 'Mione!"
"I do! You know that!"
"I do, eh? Why are you getting married to Harry then?"
"He just asked me one day...it popped out of my mouth for some reason...I..."
"You could have just told me it was over, you know."
"But it wasn't..."
"And exactly what do you mean by that?"
"It means that I still love you, Ron!" Hermione cried out, sobbing. I felt tears come down my cheeks too. I bit my lip as she put her head in her hands. Our breath came out as wisps of white mist in the cold January air as we each sobbed.
"You know what, Hermione, forget it. Just forget it." I said before turning away, my voice choked with tears.
"No..." she whispered. She ran back into the house, her face red from the cold and crying.
As soon as I heard the door slam, I took out of my back pocket the ring I was going to give her.
Cause I want you
And I feel you
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger
Like a burning
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken
And I'm faded
I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have what's left of me
The flower girls, the ring bearer, and finally Hermione come down the aisle. She's breathing shakily and looking down into her bouqet of yellow roses. She's as beautiful as ever. I know that many people at Hogwarts believed her to be quite plain, but she's always been beautiful in my mind.
Harry smiles as he takes her hands. He doesn't deserve her. Sure, I'm not too pleased with him for breaking my little sister's heart into bite-sized pieces, but taking Hermione is stepping far across the line.
Hermione gives me a sad sideways glance as she listens to Harry take his vows. She's seriously making me go crazy. It's taking all the strength I can muster not to stand up in my seat and shout her name.
I've been dying inside
Little by little
Nowhere to go
But going out of my mind
In endless circles
Running from my self until
You gave me a reason for standing still
Cause I want you
And I feel you
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger
Like a burning
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken
And I'm faded
I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have what's left of me
"I do." Harry says.
"And do you, Hermione Jane Granger, take Harry James Potter to be you lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, 'till death do you part?" Hermione's asked. She's debating silently, I can tell.
It's falling faster
Barely breathing
Give me something
To believe in
Tell me it's not all in my head
Take what's left
Of this man
Make me whole
Once again
"I..uhm...er..." she stutters.
"Don't do it. Please, please, don't do it." I plead silently.
Cause I want you
And I feel you
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger
Like a burning
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken
And I'm faded
I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have what's left of me
"I--"
"Hermione, don't do it!" I yell, standing up in my seat. Everyone looks at me, but I don't even notice. Hermione's looking at me, her hands still enclosed in Harry's. It's as if we're the only two living things in the room.
I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
"Harry...Harry, I'm sorry, I just can't do this." And with that, Hermione picks up her skirts and runs as fast she possibly could in high heels out of the big wooden double doors. Harry's glaring at me, and all of my family is staring at me in shock. I look at Ginny, and she's smiling a sad smile. And then I look at Harry. The expression on his face clearly reads Why the bloody hell would you do something like this?
"I'm sorry, mate." I say. And then I run out after Hermione.
I finally find her, and she's sitting on the hill where the swingset is. She'd taken off her shoes and was leaning on her knees, crying. It reminds me of when she was crying on the steps of after the Yule Ball. And for a moment, I see that fourteen-year-old girl in periwinkle blue dress robes.
I quietly sit next to her and she leans on me, crying into my shoulder just like when we thought Macnair had killed Buckbeak. I carefully put my arm around her, pulling her closer.
"I can't run anymore...it's all my fault and here I am, stuck in this mess. I let my family and my friends down, I let Harry down..." she says.
"You didn't let me down." I say quietly. Hermione only cries harder.
"Yes I did!" she sobs, "I said yes when Harry proposed to me, I let this carry through, I let you walk away, and I let you down, don't say I didn't!"
"You can get a fresh start, though. I can propose to you now, if you want me too...I mean, I don't have the ring with me...but that is the reason why I came to your house that day...I mean, I could get down on my knee and ask you--"
"Ron, I think you just did."
"I did? But I didn't even--" she puts a hand over my mouth.
"Yes." she gets her head off of my shoulder and wipes the tears from her face with the edge of her skirt.
"I love you, 'Mione." I say. She smiles.
"Can you say it again?"
"What?"
"My name. I like the way you say it."
"'Mione?" I say. She smiles.
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
Just running in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
She puts a hand on my face and kisses me. Yup, I'm never going to forget this day. Never.
--
Fluff is good for the soul. : ) ( :
