~~So what do I do in my spare time when I should be finishing my Germancest fic or reviewing for finals...?

WRITE A NEW SPAMANO FANFIC OF CORSE! XD

This one kinda starts out a bit depressing, but don't worry! I firmly believe in happy endings, so it wont be sad for long! Enjoy!

Disclaimer – I don't own Hetalia! ~~

Lovino Vargas, age seventeen, didn't believe in "happily every after". He wasn't one to read fairy tales or play pretend, and most of the time his attitude was purely pessimistic. Hell, Lovino could barely remember a time when he was happy enough to genuinely smile. He couldn't say his life was hard per say, it was just... complicated.

Remembering back ten years ago, when the Italian was just seven, he could recall a woman laughing face. Soft curly carmel locks framed her perfectly heart shaped features; full lips that always smiled, green emeralds that sparkled and a kindness that seemed to radiate off her in waves. She was beautiful inside and out, a shinning gem that loved Lovino and in short the Italian loved her with all his heart.

Yes, his mother.

It was the only time the Italian could remember when his smiles were true and his laughter wasn't forced. This happiness was short lived though; when quite suddenly his best friend and caretaker got into a car wreak and passed away, leaving both him and his younger brother in the care of their father.

Mr. Vargas was a very successful business man, who in short lived life strictly by the bible. A religious man to the core, and it only seemed to increase when his wife had died. He made it his first priority to educate his sons on the "ways of the lord" and would except nothing but perfection in everything they did.

For Feliciano, the younger brother, this seemed to come naturally. He could recite scriptures, sing hymns from memory and always seemed to have an air of continuous happiness around him. Their father was delighted and showed great praise to the younger.

But for the elder it was different. Lovino had trouble memorizing the long prayers, hymns made his voice shake and crack, and no matter how hard he tried; he just couldn't get enthusiastic about the the old stories of ancient times.

But he did try; if anything he would become curious and questioned the bibles statements with child-like innocents.

"How can the man lead all those animals to the boat? Does he have magic? Why is that other man taking the servants from the pharaoh? Doesn't he need them to build his house?

Why papa is tha-"

"ENOUGH!"

Upset that his son couldn't just "blindly" accept the religion like his brother had caused Mr. Vargas to begin comparing his sons hence forth. Lovino never seemed to be able to please his father, it always seemed that "Feli" could do it better.

Feli could clean the house, walk the dog, cook dinner, bake a cake, drive a car and even smile better then his brother. At age 15 the elder finally thought he had his chance to win back his fathers attention; Feli had been hired as a caretaker for a church halfway across the country. But his hopes where instantly shattered when his father stated,

"Lovino. Your brother has already found himself on the pathway to God. In a few years time, he will be able to have a steady job.. and what are you doing? At fifteen I was already working and going to school full time; while STILL able to volunteer at the local church. Why cant you take from your brothers good example and at least TRY Lovino. Is it really that hard? Must you make excuses?"

He wasn't even allowed a chance to put a word in to defend himself. Unable to recover quickly enough from the metaphoric slap to the face, the Italian could only meekly nod his head.

"O-of corse father. I will try my best."

"Your best is not good enough! Try your absolute hardest!"

Was all the brunette could hear echoing in the back of his head; father yelling at him as he went in search of a job.

Now, presently seventeen, Lovino was working all and any odd jobs he could find in between school to make ends meet. He had moved into a tiny one bed room apartment close to home, not because he was kicked out; but he was making it a point to show his father that he was capable of becoming a son he could be proud of.

He could never hate his father, but it seemed like an endless struggle of the heart. He wanted to be shown love... open displays of affection... and praise when he did something well. It was an ache that he could never sooth alone; he yearned for the approval of someone... anyone who could see him for himself and just accept what they saw.

Though he wasn't exactly close with his brother, over the years he had sent letters to keep in contact with the younger Italian. He would also send money when he could; knowing a caretaker probably didn't make all that much and though it made living conditions tight on the elder, Lovio was determined to help his sibling in anyway he could.

It was early winter when he received the latest letter from his brother. But this one was different, this one made him pause where he stood and carefully re-read the message again.

Dear Fratello,

I got a job, ve! Mr. Rodrick saw I was doing a really good job and decided I would make a good secretary to his cousin! I'm not really sure what a secretary does... but it can't be that hard right? I get to meet my new boss later this week. I'm nervous, but maybe we can become friends, ve~

Anyway, i'm writing to also tell you that I don't need you to send me money anymore. Apparently this job will almost triple my salary! Isn't that great? Now fratello can stop working so hard and use the extra money to go on dates with pretty girls or maybe to buy a really fast sports car!

Have fun Brother! Ti Amo.

-Feli

'I dont need you to send me anymore money...'

'I dont need you...'

"I don't need you."

The statement swirled around the Italian's head like an angry bee, demanding attention. It hurt. He honestly didn't think it would hurt to have his whinny, little brother no longer need him for something.

No.

It was more like the last person who cared about him, no longer wanted him. Looking around the cold gray room, Lovino felt more alone then ever before. First his mother... now Feli... it seemed like the people he cared for where slowly leaving him one by one. All that was left was Mr. Vargas and deep in his heart he knew it was a loosing battle to gain his father's attention.

Lovio Vargas didn't believe in fairy tales; but as he clenched the small rosary that hung around his neck and took a shaky breath to calm himself, he let himself hope and pray that somehow something from a fairy tale could actually happen and make this all better. He gave a bitter laugh and allowed a single tear to roll silently down his quivering cheek; knowing full well that make believe and foolish wishing belonged only in the story books he read in as a child.