I apologize ahead of time for this. It's a joke, guys, okay? No telling me it's horrible or anything. Jeez. I wrote this for some friends.
I don't own Criminal Minds or My Little Pony.
Again, this is a joke fic written in a srs-fic way. Don't know if I'll continue it, but if I get enough pressure, I might.
Enjoy my un-beta'd nonsense!
The first thing I noticed was the colors. Bright, retina-searing washes that made me want to vomit. Closing my eyes tightly, I groaned and flopped an arm over my face. That's it! My arm! Blinking rapidly to get used to the light, I pulled up the sleeve of my shirt and stared at the crook of my elbow in startled disbelief. Nothing. This wasn't some delusion from a new narcotic. Great…
"...-id? Reid!" Hotch's voice ripped me from my thoughts, his hand shaking my shoulder lightly. "Wake up, we have to go."
"Y-yeah, right." I sat up and rubbed my eyes, still not quite registering what was going on. That struck me as a bit strange; usually I could figure out what was happening in a matter of seconds. The last thing I remembered was going to sleep on the plane after what I thought was a briefing. But what was it for...?
[flashback]
"Alright, team. We're off to Ponyville to investigate a series of apple thefts. Reid, get your feet off the furniture," Hotch began, chastising me without missing a beat. Sheepishly I took my feet down from the arm of the seat and waited for him to continue. Ponyville was an odd name for a town, at least to me. "The apples have been taken primarily from the Sweet Apple Acres, but also from bakeries, stores, and even households."
"Hotch? I have a question," I raised my hand a little to get his attention.
"Can it wait until I'm done?"
"Just want to clarify something," Not waiting for him to give the go-ahead, I continued. "Ponyville? Where is this? You have got to be kidding me."
"I am quite serious, Reid. Now will you let me finish?" I nodded, unconsciously resting my feet back on the seat. "Ponyville is located in Equestria and-" I raised my hand again. "What?"
"Equestria? That doesn't even exist!"
"Feet. Off. Now."
[/flashback]
"Agent Hotchner! It's such a pleasure to meet you! I'm Pinkie Pie and this," My gaze snapped from my shoes to the bright pink pony... shaking Hotch's hand? Hotch didn't even bat an eyelash as he returned the gesture. "...and you are welcome any time! Nownownow, this is really important! You have to go see Princess Celestia in Canterlot! She will tell you everything that has happened and then you can start figuring out who did all this! Here's a map to get there. I'll have Twilight Sparkle go with you in case you get lost."
Pinkie Pie? Twilight Sparkle? Well, there were other ways to get drugged than by injection. There was huffing, pills, smoking (which I certainly knew I didn't do), creams, and an assortment that could be put into food and drinks. Maybe someone spiked my coffee?
A light purple... unicorn? trotted into the room. So this must be Twilight Sparkle.
"So you are the BAU? Wonderful! I have a few chariots waiting outside." Her voice a much more reasonable speed than the pink one's. Chariots? Okay, that doesn't sound so bad. But who would be drawing them? Standing, I found myself following the rest of the team outside to see said chariots. Two white ponies were rigged to the front of each one. As Twilight Sparkle greeted them, I discovered they were all male.
First impressions left me with some disturbing thoughts. It seemed this was a female dominated society in which the males were enslaved.
