"The Conversation"

Sam walked into the door of her house, threw her purse and pack on the couch. The fact that she threw them around as opposed to her usually orderly lifestyle indicated just how worn out after this series of missions she was. She was not initially happy to be sent on mandatory leave, not that is was for a long period or anything, however, that was what General Hammond had to do time and again to get her to rest. She realized that she needed it and plopped down on the couch next to her stuff and switched on the TV, determined to be that couch potato that Jack said she should try to be as opposed to…what had he called her….an egghead – yes – "Carter, why can't you be a couch potato for a weekend instead of an egghead! Well, not like those other eggheads, I mean – why can't you let your brain rest, your smart and will stay….DOH!' he shook his head in frustration as she smiled at him and he walked off unable to finish that eloquent speech he was giving. She loved that he was like that, that was his fun side, so, she was going to try to embrace his fun side, as that was probably as close as she was getting to any embracing.

Sam switched through the channels, finding nothing on she turned it off and went to the fridge. She scanned it and found a nice bottle of Heineken, popped the top and walked over to her stereo and put on one of her favorite jazz cd's, Chris Botti's, Night Sessions. She had very eclectic taste in music and when time permitted she would burn her own cd's, though between her off world missions and spending tons of late nights in her lab, she was so rarely able to enjoy herself in this manner anymore.

When sitting down to really enjoy music, it is a must to create an entire atmosphere. She had wonderful tunes set aside to bath to, to clean house to, to ride, relax and well, it would be nice to have one put together for THE evening. Sam sat on the couch, lights low, candles lit, Chris' trumpet wailing in the background, lips on her bottle, gazing off in the distance. Music had the power to immediately erase the tension and send her somewhere she dare not go. The person who suggested Chris Botti's, Night Sessions to her years ago had made only one comment when doing so, It's an evening all to itself, if you need a night with the one you love, this what will take you there.

All she could think of was his eyes, those expressive brown eyes and his voice. She always heard him in her head as Colonel, but when she pushed the Colonel aside she heard him when he spoke to her on the couch at his house, when he had all the ancient knowledge in his head. She wanted to tell him how lost she would be without him if Thor couldn't work his magic, she wanted to tell him so many things, but couldn't find the words, and he was in such a foul mood that day, until the tide turned and he realized who was standing in front of him, softened and said, "What". And then the next thing you know, Daniel and T'ealc showed up. Of course. She loved their team, what they accomplished, how they worked together and the challenge of her chosen career, but they had some serious timing issues. Many people hate their jobs, just going through the motions, her work wasn't like that, it was such an adventure, but after each adventure, it was still only her at home, waiting to go back to work. She wished she could let go, let go like the jazz artists who wear their emotions on their sleeves. And have someone to share that feeling with.

Perhaps that's why she found freedom in jazz, total relaxation in jazz, blues and great music. Her thoughts wandered from BB King, to Ella, Louis, Melissa Ethridge, Sarah McLaughlin, even Kathy Mattea over in the country genre. And then there was that smile, she managed to elicit from him when she frustrated him. She loved techno babble as he called it, she knew he didn't care to hear, but she couldn't help herself, she loved the response it got from him. Just before they were sent back to 1969, now there was a great era of music, he asked what was taking so long and she told him the entire spiel knowing he wouldn't have a real clue or care what she was doing, but the response was excellent and made her smile all the more – "We knew that." Time for another beer, wonder if he has any Heineken over at his house? Stupid question, of course he does, but I'm almost out.

As she popped the top to her second, she thought now is a good time to spend on the computer, making a new cd, one that elicited a mood. A mood that would draw two people close without the need for words. Words tripped them up anyway, they were better off without words. If they didn't have to utter one word, I wonder, with the right mood, and no interruptions what would happen? She quickly brought up the menu of tunes on her computer, found King and Clapton's Riding with the King and started to play the Three O'Clock Blues and during the eight minute song she pulled together a play list of songs that would elicit quite a response in her, which, given the right partner would ignite a spark, and she had the right partner in mind.

How could he not be, it was all there lying right beneath the surface. When they were working underground and she only knew him as Jonah, they enjoyed a freedom even in slavery. So many emotions buried under the military surface, we were taught well. Trained to save the world and forget about saving the part of us we lose. I think we've earned it, so many secrets we keep from all the world, friends and even family, why not hide our true feelings? It's really status quo, but what if status quo was exploring our feelings and then making them top secret, classified when on the job, we've been doing it all these years, showing only bits and pieces here and there. At this very moment she just wanted to run her fingers through his sticky up hair and feel him close to her.

"My Love where ever I go, I take you with me." – Melissa Ethridge. How true that was, she just couldn't imagine being without him, that's a good one to add to the disc. Every time she went home she felt like she was missing a part of her. It was just her in the house after spending nights off world with Jack only inches away. Sometimes her sleep was deep and peaceful knowing he was there, sometimes she barely slept because he was so close. But every time she came home, barring extreme exhaustion, she didn't sleep as well. She found her self calling to check in with him in the mornings to see if there was anything going on. There never was anything going on except for the comfort that his voice provided, she knew he never tired of answering the phone. There's another good one, as she adds it to the play list and takes another sip of beer, Oh to be the beer bottle in his hands.

Jack was sitting on the couch, beer in hand, watching The Simpson's he has missed while off world. He'd seen this one before and had started making mental notes about what he would do over the next three days while they had time off, thank God! He was looking forward to Sam's call tomorrow morning. He knew she would call, she always did, she always wanted to get back on base as soon as possible and wanted him to give her a reason, but he never did. She worked so hard and needed some time off, even if he had to talk Hammond into grounding her to do it. Actually that was the only way to get her to do it, she was so passionate about her work. When was she going to take some time for herself?

Jack took another sip of his beer and wondered what Carter was up to at 22:00. He'd love to call her just to shake her up a bit, well, actually just to hear her voice, but she was probably deeply engrossed in writing a book or some research she had managed to smuggle home. He so much wished she would take him up on one fishing invite! There weren't even any dang fish in the pond.

Jack broke his train of thought long enough to get up and wander into the kitchen for another beer. As he opened the bottle he remembered that time with Sam when they had been convinced that it was the future by Hathor's people, ah screw Hathor, but he did get to linger for a moment on Sam's soft skin, he wondered what it felt like and had the urge to just feel her skin. That was the thought that he held onto when he was "implanted" and then frozen. G'ould, sons a bitches, he just didn't understand the entire snake infatuation, but back to more pleasant infatuations that he could relate to, like soft kisses. If only Sam had been able to remember the kiss when he was having his own personal groundhog day experience. She returned his kiss in those precious few moments and then he had stared at her in the briefing room the next time he could see her after that. He would end several of his groundhog day cycles doing that, it was addicting and kept him sane during that little "mission."

O'Neill – wake up, watch your show, you are running off into forbidden territory and it leads nowhere you want it to. Ah hell, no more Simpsons, maybe a good shower was in order, hot enough to relieve his tension.

The CD was almost finished burning in her computer, she needed to figure out what to wear so she could go before she lost her nerve. The last song she listened to before burning the CD had cemented her intentions:

"If we ever leave a legacy it's that we loved each other well"– Indigo Girls; Power of Two

She wanted that legacy and it was something she knew they could both do very well, given the chance. She was ready to take the chance this evening. It was going to have to be the jeans and white v neck t-shirt. She had thought about a dress, but it was a nice evening for a ride and perhaps that was a bit to overwhelming…she laughed as she thought that, oh the rational of a woman who had a life, what decisions, thank goodness she didn't have to make them that often!

She turned on the iPod and put on the play list that would take her over to Jack's. She had chosen Enigma, Principles of Lust. It was nearly 15 minutes and kept her mind from second guessing and stopping her from having this "conversation." On the way over her mind raced over all the times they had spent together, her favorite and defining moments.

She remembered those weird AU experiences, Cascade failures that the other Sam, who was actually able to enjoy her Jack, at least for a time, they had actually said 'I do." And all those times that she woke up in the dang infirmary but she awoke to his smile and his eyes and talk of Cake – his idea of course. Oh so long ago, that dress on that backwards planet and how he stammered over her in it, she thought she would kill him at the time if the opportunity presented itself. She smiled, actually it was Daniel's fault, she should get him for that! Those were the kinds of stories that she had longed to share with someone. She kept all these memories inside her, bottled up. She had thought of talking to Janet about them, but she didn't want to put her in a predicament of being "duty bound" to report any hint of a relationship. So, she had to enjoy the memories on her own.

He had great timing when it came to the comfort of his hugs. When she was stuck on Prometheus by herself, she was visited by all her friends and even her Dad, but it was O'Neill's orders, followed by the conversation and closing with the kiss, the one she mulled over in her mind many, many times, that got her to stay focused enough to make it home. Why after so many times like that, waking up in the infirmary with his brown eyes on her, have they not been able to break the silence and talk or say anything more than what they had to in order to pass a Zatarc test. Tonight, no words would be exchanged but the thoughts would be put across quite clearly.

As he was toweling off his hair, he thought he had heard a bike drive by, but the noise seemed to have disappeared. He walked into his bedroom and put on his soft cotton pajama bottoms and the matching black shirt. Just as he was making his final run through the house to turn everything off for the night, he passed the front door and felt that he should take a look out front. What was Carter doing outside his front door at 23:00ish hours? He quickly opened the door just as she was about to knock.

Visibly shaken, Carter just stood there for a second. "Carter", what are you doing here? He could feel the need for the rest of the sentence, but it never came out. He had just been thinking of her and now she was here, 8 hours before she was supposed to call him!

Oh God, what am I doing? "Si-", she started, but remembered what she said, no words tonight, let the music speak for her. He just looked down at her, waiting for something. He must have just showered because he had the ultimate in sticky up hair, she loved that look, it was irresistible. She raised the six pack of bottles to his chest level so he would take them and then stepped past him, walking into his living room. He just took the beer and stood with the door open watching her walk into his house.

Where is she going? What's in my living room and why isn't she saying anything? Unable to really say anything, he closed the door and followed her, perplexed. She was fiddling with his stereo. "Carter….". He trailed off, turned, shaking his head in confusion and went into the kitchen with the beer. As he popped the tops to two of the beers, he heard smokey jazz tunes escaping his system.

Ok, now what, I'm in, music is on, now what? As she turned away from the stereo she saw him walking back in from the kitchen with the beer. Listen to the music Samantha, have the 'conversation' you came here to have! She decided to walk toward him and came face to face with him. They stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Then she took the beer from his one hand and grazed his face with her other hand as she walked around him to the couch. He closed his eyes to her touch, but immediately turned to follow her to the couch.

Once he was down on the couch he watched her drink her beer and followed suit, this was becoming quite the interesting evening. She hadn't said a word, and that was just not like Carter, though she had started to mention something with her hand.

Sam finally set her beer down on the coffee table and moved closer to him on the couch. She reached again for his cheek, found his eyes and he drew closer to her. He didn't know exactly what was going on, ok, well, he sort of did, but this was his 2IC sitting in front of him, check that, his 2IC with her hand on his face, stroking his cheek and she was looking right into him. She was wearing his favorite perfume and the smell was intoxicating and that music was making him reel.

He finally came to life and put his hand on her cheek and then moved to the back of her neck and pulled her gently closer to him as their lips met. Her stomach jumped, like it would have if she were on a roller coaster. She grasp him firmly, taking the opportunity to stroke the back of his head. The passion in their kiss was ever increasing, as they both were lost in the kiss, ranks tossed to the floor and totally forgotten for a moment.

She finally pulled back, forcing him to do the same. She could see into his eyes, just as she could when they were trapped with a force shield between them. Then he moved forward and she closed her eyes as their lips met again. All the passion they had been feeling the last several years was starting to be set free in this kiss, it was passionate and frantic all at the same time. Finally, their lips parted, only seeking the need for air. He would not let her go, instead pulling her into a hug and dipping his head, nuzzling her neck. She could feel his breathe and every nerve was tingling.

Jack pulled back to look into her blue eyes, to search for something in her that would stop him from pursuing his feelings for her. She had started this, knowing it was against regulations, but to hell with regulations right now, he wanted to keep going, but was looking for the rationale of his 2IC as he always did. All he could see right now was Sam.

For the first time she had no idea what he was thinking. What was he searching for? All she wanted was to run her fingers through his hair and continue where they had just left off, now that she had regained her breath. If she waited too much longer, she would regain her control. That's what he was looking for, her control, her better judgment to kick in, but she had thrown that out before she ever got on her bike and came over to his house. With that she moved back into him for another kiss.

As she moved in he moved away, but not out of reach. He kissed her, drawing her into and on top of him, never losing touch, never letting go. He didn't want to let go. She pursued him not willing to break the kiss, enjoying his wet hair, soft cheek and hard body under her. Again, they broke the kiss only for lack of breath. This time when he saw Sam, all he could see was that smile, shining brightly above him and he knew, she was doing exactly what she wanted and that's all he needed to see.