- ectoBiologist [EB] began pester turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:39 -

EB: okay this is going to sound weird but i'm randomly encountering you.

TG: yeah that sounds really weird

EB: sorry.

EB: new chat client and i was curious of what this did and i didn't know if it would tell you i pestered you regardless of whether or not i said anything.

EB: so i said something.

TG: it wouldn't have said anything for the record

TG: but i have no qualms with someone randomly talking to me

TG: so long as they introduce themselves properly

TG: at the risk of sounding like a super creepy omegle-er

TG: asl?

EB: you're right, that did sound pretty creepy.

EB: but to answer, sixteen, dude and washington.

TG: wow surprising

TG: seventeen guy texas

TG: names dave

EB: i'm john.


- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:45 -

TG: egbert

EB: what do you want, dave?

TG: wanted to say happy birthday

EB: how did you know it was my birthday?

TG: i may or may not have a friend who will do whatever i tell him to

TG: and i may or may not have told him to look you up online

TG: if i did tell him to do that it was strictly so that i could be sure you existed

TG: and were not a pedophile

TG: trying to get into my underaged panties

TG: found out your birthday was today

TG: thought id tell you happy birthday

EB: that's both creepy and thoughtful.

TG: i know

EB: but thanks for the birthday wishes, i guess.

TG: no problem bro

EB: so other than being a total creeper, what's up?


- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:24 -

EB: DAVE.

EB: big deal.

EB: get your butt on your computer so i can tell you all about this big deal thing.

EB: or not, that's cool too.

EB: JUST LEAVE ME HANGING IT'S FINE I DON'T EVEN CARE.

EB: IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS IMPORTANT OR ANYTHING.

TG: dude calm your tits

TG: what the fuck is such a big deal it can't wait fifteen fucking minutes?

EB: i was going to tell you i won an xbox.

TG: wow

TG: do you have live?

EB: no, but i'm working on changing that, kind of need to save up because i'm going to just buy a year's worth instead of going a month at a time.

TG: good boy

EB: and then we can play left 4 dead and shit together.

TG: and team fortress 2

TG: and if you're up for it we can play cheesy shit like halo

TG: and rage when we kill each other

TG: but deep down inside youre giggling like a fucking schoolgirl

TG: all like 'senpai noticed me long enough to shoot me in the head'

EB: do i even want to know?

TG: my brother's rubbing off on me

EB: kinky.

-turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 18:35 -


- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 03:32 -

TG: john

TG: wake up

TG: i know its like godawful early for you

TG: but you have to realize its like two hours later for me

TG: im contacting you at 1/3 in the morning

TG: because ther was a thing

TG: and i kind of just want someone to talk to

EB: im awake

TG: thank you

EB: you better have a good reason i have school in the morning.

TG: its kind of all fucked the fuck up

TG: bro got into a wreck and im just on edge and worrying and shit

EB: i wasn't aware you were capable of such emotions, dave.

TG: really youre gonna pull this shit right now

EB: I'M TIRED

EB: you brought this upn yourself dav.

TG: look sorry about waking you up

TG: i dont really have anyone else to talk to

EB: id your bro even hurt?

TG: not badly

EB: is there even the tiniest chance that he won't live?

TG: i dont think him dying is a possibility

EB: then i'm going back to bed.

EB: i'll talk to you in a few hours while i'm awake when i'm supposed to be.

TG: fine

TG: sorry

EB: goodnight, dave.

- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 04:07 -


- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:12 -

EB: i have to tell you something important.

EB: but you have to get on skype.

EB: my username is the same as my chumhandle so just add me and i'll call you and i can tell you this thing.

- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:21 -

You stare at the messages, recieved at school, which is honestly surprising because even with the time difference he'd have been in school as well. Yet, your curiosity trumps all and you take another step in the interesting friendship you and John had been building up over the past several months. You look him up on Skype and it's pretty much immediate that he video calls you. You hesitate to answer. You don't know what you're expecting.

You let your mind wander for a moment.

Probably on the shorter side. Chubby. Definitely nerdy. That would be embarrassing, he'd be this chubby nerd and you'd be /you/. Poor guy's gone all these months without realizing he's talking to a legitimate cool person.

With a resigned sigh, you answer and the face that meets you is, in a word, gorgeous.

Not what you expected. At all. He looks tall, with the way his camera is tilted to show the ceiling along the top of the screen. Short black hair over a thin face and an equally thin frame. He wears glasses, but they're not huge, and they're not thick nd they look good on him.

You retract your earlier thought, thinking he's like that and you're just /you/. Funny how the tables turn when you see someone's face.

You try to say something, noticing the boxes and the clean walls, which you remember him saying were covered in posters. "What's so important you needed to video call me?" You ask, leaning back in your chair and self-consciously tugging on the edge of your hoodie.

"My dad got transferred for work. So I'm moving."

"That's cool." You say, nodding a little. "Where to?"

This is the part where he smiles and holy crap he's so pretty. "Houston." He holds his arms out in an unspoken 'tada' and you feel yourself tense.

"That's cool, bro." You say and smile a little.

"We're leaving the first day of winter break, should be down there by Christmas." He leans forward, pulling the camera to accommodate the lowering of his head. "Now I need to know what all to expect." He smiles again and you simply offer a nod to your friend.

"Let me tell you all about Texas," You say.

It takes a good few hours but eventually you wrap up your lecture. You tell him about winters, which, while not as old as other places, are still cold as fuck. You tell him about summers which can easily get into the high ninety's, low hundreds. You explain to him that Houston is humid as all get out.

You go over stereotypes, which ones are true and which are not. Cowboys are not, rednecks are. Cowboys are skewed to all outside of the state. You explain that Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob, while semi-accurate, is a character essentially made to perpetuate the stereotype.

You tell him about country music, how it used to be good and be about young women running away with the men of their dreams, or men giving their daughter's boyfriends terrifying speeches to ensure their princess' safety, or sons taking after their fathers in many somewhat endearing scenarios, but thanks to various artist nowadays the music is no longer country it is what you refer to as 'pop-country mutant love-child' and is about breakups and unrealistically compared Romeo and Juliet stories and 'chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit'.

He seems really interested but after a while he has to excuse himself to go eat and tells you he'll be back on later. You say bye to each other and he ends the call and then goes offline on both Skype and Pesterchum. You sigh a little bit thinking back on the conversation. He's really good looking, you note, taking a moment to glance down at yourself and grimacing slightly He has a nice voice, which is a weird thing to say but compared to what you figured you'd been expecting it was a whole new level of holy shit.

His laugh makes you uncomfortable. In a good and bad way. You never thought of thinking someone's laugh is sexy or whatever before but when you get him laughing hard enough it dissolves into desperate snorts for breath and you can't fucking handle it. It's super cute and somewhat endearing and the way he lifts his hands to cover his mouth when he does laugh is too cute.

You feel really weird about suddenly being totally into John. Considering you've only known each other online and this is the first time you've seen his face in the whole year and a half you two have been talking. You wonder briefly what he thought of you and once more you look down to yourself, looking at the still running webcam open on your computer. Shit he must've thought you were a mess.

You bring up a hand and run your too thin fingers through messy red hair and furrow your brow at yourself. You seem like the kind of person a guy like him would ignore, you think.

You're pudgy and your face is squishy with chub. Your face is, like, ninety-percent freckles. As you look at yourself in the camera you wonder why the fuck he sat there and watched you talk for so long.


Hi there!

I haven't posted anything here since Lucid (which actually has a chance of being revived.)

This story was originally being posted on Ao3 but I figured putting it here as well could't hurt, so here it is.