This is my first fanfic and also the first in English, which is my second language, so I`m sorry for any possible grammar mistakes or wrong tenses. I`d appreciate any comment with constrictive criticism. Hope you`ll like it.
edit. With a help of amazing beta-reader Cathieu there will be much less stupid grammar mistakes, so thanks a lot!
I was walking down the grassy path leading to the distant forest, its eaves shimmering in the sun. The trees were a wave of deep golden and emerald green. Their leaves were rustling in the warm wind of late summer and the birds were singing their songs, some in the hoarse voices of ravens and crows, other in shrill, lighter tones, resembling larks, blackbirds or nightingales. The rain was dropping from few dark clouds and the rainbow was beginning to appear on the sky.
'Such a beautiful scenery' I thought. 'Pity my life doesn`t look like this.'
My life. This series of disappointments and failures. All this hard work, only to be on the top in one moment and then be tumbling down in the other. But I shook off these dark thoughts, as I always do. There will be time for that later, when I return home to this small village on the eastern coast of Britain, where I`ve been living for five years. Sometimes I missed the weather in Poland, where rain was occasional occurrence, at least in place I used to call home. But, besides the nice weather, I left behind only my memories and the shreds of childhood. It would be pointless to come back now.
Then I heard a distant cry in the skies. I looked up, smiled and remembered that one`s existence can`t be just the line of sorrow.
"Alcar!" I cried. Then I braced myself, when I saw winged shape diving from the heights. I held out my hand, armed with the thick, hard glove and waited. Soon the beautiful gyrfalcon caught my arm, and delved its claws in the glove. His feathers were snowy white, with dark spots on his wings. He waved his wings a few times and finally caught the balance. Then he looked at me with his deep, dark eyes and issued a shrill cry. I laughed when his thoughts reached my mind. I saw the sight of the forest from the heights and my image, the tall woman with dark hair and brown eyes. I sensed his sympathy, devotion and biting bands of hunger. I had this ability as long as I can remember, though only with animals that choose to open their minds for me. I think I could enter their thoughts without their permission, but why do that? I preferred to win their trust and maybe even friendship. Though I`ve never acquired such strong of a connection with any animals, as I had with my gyrfalcon.
"Hungry, my dear?" I asked, knowing the answer. "Can`t catch any prey today?" I`ve never liked hunting very much, but I understood this need in some animals, so I wasn`t trying to control it. 'Today, it seems, I must feed him myself.' I thought. I pulled the meat out of my bag and gave it to Alcar. He devoured it greedily and shrieked happily. I almost forgot about my problems. His comforting presence has always had a good effect on me.
I`ve already reached the forest, so I walked with him between the trees and decided that today I wouldn`t be troubling myself. Today I wanted to have nice day with my feathered companion. The forest air was crisp and fragrant and I inhaled deeply.
Then something strange happened. And 'strange' is the biggest understatement of the world. The sun faded suddenly and the forest sounds were dulled. The fresh fragrance disappeared entirely and I felt as if some dark veil covered the world. Alcar`s thoughts were full of amazement and anxiety, but strangely, not fear.
Suddenly everything became paler and, in some way, lighter. Then I felt overwhelming presence, like I was an ant in the shadow of the whale. My senses sharpened, but my eyes were hazy, orwas it the world that was fading? Suddenly I heard and sensed the Voice. It radiated through my veins, thumped in my ear drums and whole world was rumbling and whispering, echoing its tones. But it wasn`t evil. It was like the colliding planets in its mightiness, like the universe in its broadness, as bright as thousands suns and as dark as the Void. I was terrified, but I knew the presence didn`t want to hurt me. Then He spoke to me:
"Welcome, Eruhín, my child. Do not be afraid. I am here to speak and to offer. You must listen to me, but to accept or to refuse is only yours to decide."
'Why he is calling me Eruhín? It means... means... yes! 'the child of Eru'. But it can`t be...'
"Your mind does not misleads you, daughter of the Earth. But you may call me as you choose. Names does not reach me, only intentions."
'But how is it possible? This name is used only in books. Yes, the amazing and beautiful ones, which I love, but it should stay there, shouldn`t it?'
"Some stories considered as fiction in this world are the shadows or reflections of distant planets and even universes. However, none of these brings the whole truth about the being they describe, but barely touches their nature. Except of the history of Eä. It is the only tale accurate enough to be true, leaving the impossibility in describing the story of lives of all beings that world gave birth to. It is because Eä was the first and most elaborated of my creations and all worlds are her descendants, though only here, on Earth, the other Atani were born."
His words were incredible and nearly unacceptable, in spite of the fact that I knew there were true. I didn`t know if it happened because I was always open-minded or because the will and help of Eru, but soon I accepted them, and with them the existence of a much broader world than that in which I was used to living.
"Now, when your mind knows the truth, I have the offer for you. The story of Eä, as you know, is very complex, where joy and sorrow mingle with each other in every life, every tale. But it has only one course. I want to change that without interfering directly in lives of those, who were born there. The reason is the utter secret and not yours to know. But I am offering you the chance to go there, be the part of the new history of the First World. Your presence will change the history of Eä, making two of them, one with you and one without you. You can save lives or you can destroy them, but remember, though every evil will finally give good fruits, as I told Melkor after Ainulindalë, you have only one life and one fëar and when you go there you must accept all limitations and laws of this world. I cannot guarantee you long life or happiness. You also can not expect my help, because I will not interfere myself in this world, unless the Valar will ask for it. Your fate will be in your hands and in your hands alone. Knowing this, do you accept my offer?"
I couldn`t believe what I was hearing. This was so huge, so unbelievable that I was chosen to do something like this! I think I would have declined, because this responsibility seemed too big for me, if it wasn`t about Arda. My life wasn`t really exiting or happy until that day. But then I had a chance to start again and where? In Arda, the world I`ve loved since I`ve read about it in Tolkien`s books!
"Yes... I accept. But I have so many questions..." I spoke out loud the first time in this conversation. I wasn`t so terrified of his presence now, though one can never get accustomed to it.
"I fear we do not have time to answer them. I am glad you accepted. Now, listen to me. You can ask for two things but in giving them to you I will have to obey my own laws I have imposed on Eä`s fate. You can also choose the time and location, when and where you will first appear in the history of Arda. Choose, then."
Despite my whirling thoughts I managed to stay calm and to really think about this. What would I like to have? The it hit me. I`d never choose it in different situation, but in this case...
"Could I be immortal? I`m not asking for this because I fear death, but because I don`t want to leave Arda so soon, as all normal humans must."
"If you want to be immortal, you will have to become one of the Eldar, the Firstborn. But then you will never return to this world, because of the Eldar`s strong connection to Arda. And you will suffer the consequences, the fading and the burden of past and memory. Are you sure you are ready for this?"
"Yes." I answered firmly. You must me certain, when making such choices or not make them at all.
"So be it, then. And the second gift?"
I`ve already decided. I looked at my gyrfalcon, who was silent all this time and was looking at me with those deep eyes. "I want to take Alcar with me. He has been my friend since I moved here. I would like to have a familiar soul there."
"It is unusual choice. But it will be granted. Your companion can go with you. He will grow stronger and greater and your bond with him will tighten as will your ability to understand the beasts of Arda. He will be able to carry your senses and even your fëar and he will never leave your side as long as he lives. But remember that no life is eternal, even the lives of the Elves. Now about the time..."
This was the hardest decision. My first thought was about the First Age, the Age of Beleriand, lands of Hithlum, Gondolin, Nargothrond... and Angband. But there were too many battles, too much sorrow and I wouldn`t know where to go or, more importantly, how to survive. Maybe it will be better to leave those lands as they were. So, I chose the 1000 year of the Second Age, because the fate of Eregion changes then, the land where Rings of Power were made...
