Title: Harry Falls In Love
Author: Erik deSoir
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and its characters belong to J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros. and to various publishers including but not limited to Scholastic Books, Raincoat Books, and Bloomsbury Books. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This still makes me sad.
Pairing: It's a surprise!
Warning: Crack ahead! Wheeee!
Note: Leah had a brain fart….
This was all written within about, oh, give or take five minutes as Leah spoke to me about her idea and cackled madly. I didn't bother with quotation marks, so just keep in mind all of this is spoken. Most of it is between Harry and his beloved or Harry and Ron with a brief appearance of Hermione – though she doesn't actually speak but is rather allusioned to.
Wait! Where are you going!! I love yoooouuuuu!!!
Mr. Potter! Please, let go of my robes!
But I love yoooouuuu!!!!
Mr. Potter, if you do not release me immediately, I'll…I'll…well, I don't know what I'll do, but rest assured, Mr. Potter, it will not be pleasant.
Ron, she's amazing, in'she?
What?
Madame Pomfrey. She's great, yeah?
Harry, mate, I don't think you're feeling well. Why don't I take you to the Hospital Wing?
What? Ohohohoh, yeah, I'm feeling terrible, I think I'm coming down with something serious. Better take me to see my hunny bunny.
Mr. Potter, you are in fine physical condition.
Why, thank you. Teehee. (Because Harry Potter says teehee in fics like these)
Mr. Potter, you are free to leave now.
Oh no! Um, my, um, stomach hurts. Yeah, my stomach. S'been killing me all morning, but I didn't want to mention coz I'm real anxious to get out of here. But, I'm dying now, so I think you'll have to examine me.
Are you quite sure?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Here, examine real quick, yeah?
Mr. Potter, the removal of your shirt will not be necessary.
Harry, good news! Been talking to Fred and George.
Huh? What?
snaps fingers in Harry's face Stay with me mate, I know she's a babe and all…
Yeah, she's great, in'she?
Sure is. Anyway, been talking to Fred and George and they say they accidentally spilled one of their experimental potions in your cup the morning before the Quidditch game. It's all a joke! Great, yeah?
Huh? What?
Nevermind, Hermione, it'll wear in a day or two.
A day or two later
Why the bloody hell didn't you stop me?! What all did I say to her?! OH GOD! I see her after every bloody Quidditch game I ever play! How the sodding hell am I supposed to face her after that?!
toe scrapes ground Um, well, there's some good news, I guess.
WHAT?
You're engaged…
TO WHO?!
mumblemumble
Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, The Golden Boy of Gryffindor, The-Emerald-Eyed-Piece-Of-Gryffindor-Hotness, Rescuer-Of-Sirius-Black, The Fourth Hogwarts Champion, The Chosen One, One Third of the Golden Trio, The-Soon-To-Be-Defeater-Of-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, promptly faints
