Disclaimer: They belong to Kripke/McG/et al, and a bunch of other corporate-type ppl, in other words, not me.
Warnings/Squicks: blasphemy, boy kissing, angst
Summary: Dean and Cas talk- schmoop ensues
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Dean swirled the dregs of his beer, looking out over the town spread out below him. It was a small miracle he'd been able to get away from Sammy. His baby brother hadn't wanted to let him out of his sight since he'd been released from the hospital a week ago. But tonight, Dean had managed it; feigning sleep, then sneaking out once Sam dosed off.
They'd stayed at a motel in the foothills of South Dakota. Now he sat on the hood of his baby, propped against the front windshield wishing he could hate Cas. Wishing he could forget the look of pain on the angel's face when they were with Uriel and Alistair at the warehouse. Wishing the angel didn't believe in him. And wishing he didn't care so damn much.
"Bastard," he muttered to the night sky, between swigs from his bottle. "Ya show up, see right through me, know everything I did, and still make me… Feathered FUCK!" Dean sighed as he watched the thin veil of clouds blow across the star pricked sky. He was fucked and he knew it- he was falling for a goddamn angel!
"Dean."
Great, just what he needed. "Hey Cas. What is it this time? Another town to destroy? More innocent people to allow to die?"
Castiel quirked his head curiously, "You weren't with Sam; he was concerned."
Dean snorted, "So, what, now you're his watchdog, too?"
The angel furrowed his brow, "I was merely concerned for your well-being."
"Sure," Dean said coldly and polished off his beer.
Castiel's confused look took on a pained air, "Dean, I don't understand why your anger is directed to me."
"You wouldn't, Cas," the hunter answered, his tone more resigned than angry. Dean couldn't blame the angel for not understanding. If there was anything he'd learned about angels, they followed orders and they did not fall in love- especially with a human. Dean reached for another beer, only to have his night chilled fingers close over flesh rather than the cool throat of a beer.
Mossy hazel eyes dotted with the emerald highlights of emotion locked with oceanic blue as pure and calm as the skies of Heaven itself.
"I'm sorry, Dean."
Dean's hand tightened around Castiel's, acknowledging the sentiment and thanking him.
Releasing the angel's hand, "Grab some hood, Cas- the baby won't mind."
Wordlessly, the angel eased himself onto the car, next to Dean.
Once he was settled, Dean handed Castiel an open beer. "Cheers," the hunter saluted, clinking their bottles together.
Dean gulped down half his beer, while Cas gingerly sipped at his. For long moments, the pair simply relaxed.
"You know, when we were kids, I used to tell Sammy our mom was up there," he gestured towards the stars with his beer, "watching us. And that whenever one of the big ones twinkled at us, it was Mom smiling; letting us know how proud she was." Dean bit his lip not wanting to fall apart in front of the angel. "Silly, huh?"
"No," Castiel replied in the dark tones he fell into at his most serious. The angel's crystal eyes flitted across the sky as if he was determining how to go about a particularly difficult task. "Your mother used to tell you 'angels were watching over you,' was that 'silly'?"
"Hmph, I don't think you are exactly what she meant, Cas."
"Nevertheless, she was correct." Castiel turned his penetrating gaze on Dean, "And she is proud of you."
For the first time since that whole Reaper debacle, Dean smiled an open, honest smile, "She is?"
"Yes Dean, of you and Sam."
Dean didn't ask how the angel knew, he didn't even ask himself why he didn't doubt Castiel's words. He merely smiled, his eyes glistening in the moonlight, "Thanks, Cas."
The angel seemed to physically relax and the hint of a smile played at the corners of his lips.
Cocking his head at his angel, Dean asked, "What?"
Cas merely shook his head as his grin grew wider.
"Oh no. You look way too pleased with yourself. Out with it, buddy!"
"I'm afraid you will misunderstand."
Clasping the angel's shoulder, "Cas, after twenty-five years with Sammy I can handle most shit. Gimme a shot."
The warmth radiating from Dean's touch, more than his words, encouraged Cas to answer the hunter. "I'm glad I could give you something to smile over. You deserve to be happier. I only wish I could do more."
Dean's own smile faltered for a split second as Castiel's words reminded him of his secret desire- to have the angel, his love and respect, "You do more than you know, Cas."
Castiel's heart ached at the momentary sadness on his hunter's face. "Still," the angel's too-blue eyes slid to the man beside him and the open vulnerability in those rich hazel eyes begged for comfort, "you deserve much more." As he spoke, his hand brushed Dean's cheek.
The hand on Cas' shoulder gripped tighter at the angel's tender contact, "Cas, don't."
"Why not, Dean?"
"You don't mean it. And I don't want…" Dean sighed heavily, his eyes now glistening with more than just moonlight. "God! I need it to mean something. I'm sorry Cas, but I need it to mean something."
Stroking his hunter's cheek, "It means everything." Castiel brought their lips together in a powerful kiss,-chaste in its purity and truth, and passionate in the emotion of both angel and hunter. "Is everything enough?" the angel asked, breaking the kiss and letting their foreheads rest together.
