There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back
Well tell her that I miss our little talks
"I love you" she gently reminds me.
"Yeah, I know" I respond cockily, she mutters something incoherently and I scrunch my face. I can't understand what the hell my wife says at the time. "Remember when I said your accent is annoying? I meant it." I laugh, sliding my t-shirt over my head. I pull the covers down on both sides, turning on the closet light as I always do for her so she can pick out her pajamas. For someone who's so carefree about everything else in her life - her pajamas are a big fucking deal. I look over and find our wedding rings laying side by side on my nightstand and smile. That was the second best day of my life. The first was my son being born.
"Oh, shu' up" I hear her laugh from the other room, and I'm slightly confused as I can't pinpoint exactly where she is.
"Where are you?" I ask, making my way out of our master bedroom and into the adjacent bathroom. No sign of my fiery redhead. I look up on the wall to find her curling iron still plugged in, and I sigh, annoyed, before unplugging it. She never remembers to take it out of the outlet. Her burgundy towel still draped over the back of the door, and her robe hanging off the side of the sink but no sign of my Becky. I close the slightly pulling her robe off and hanging it behind the back of the door.
"I'm in 'ere" she calls out in a bit of a whisper, and I spin around hoping to find her there to no avail. I walk over to our son's bedroom, quietly creeping the door open, maybe she's in here. She can never get enough of Anthony Joseph. He's 6, and the light of Becky's life. God, Becky was so happy to have him in her arms. I remember the last two weeks of her pregnancy she couldn't wait to pop him out - and when he would cry as an infant, she was so happy and in love with him. Never was she grouchy that she was losing sleep, or barely getting any. Hmm, she's not in here either - just him sleeping peacefully. I walk over quietly and kiss the top of his head, watching him stir slightly. It amazes me how he has an equal amount of my and Becky's features. "Ge' ou' of his room." She scolds in a whisper and I quickly back out of his room, closing the door behind me.
The doorbell rings downstairs, and I jog as quick as possible to the door before they ring again. I swing the door open finding Sasha and Finn standing there with a heavy box. They have this look of sympathy on their faces, and I really have no time to ask what the problem is. They fight a lot, so I'll chalk it up to that. "What's up?"
"I have some of Becky's things. I called you earlier and said I'd bring them, you alrigh'?" Finn asks, and I widen the door so they can both enter, leading them in the direction of the couch. "You look good by the way"
I look at them, and laugh. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just late and you two assholes want to bring her stuff. I'm sure she'll be down any moment" I rush out and watch their expressions change immediately. They look at each other concerned and then slowly back at me, they're worried and I'm not really sure why or what they're worried about.
"Kev, what are you talking about? Who's coming down?" Sasha asks gently, wrapping her arms tightly around Finn's and leaning her head on his shoulder.
I furrow my brows at her, she's being nice. Sasha is never fucking nice to me and she never fucking calls me Kev. What does she mean who's coming down? I can't deal with their stupid jokes and nonsense this late at night. I get up from the couch and head for the door. "Alright, I have no time for your shit. Let's go, get out of my house." I swing the door open, and watch them eye each other before slowly standing and doing as I say.
"You sure you don' wan' us to stay?" Finn asks, placing his hand on my shoulder.
I nod, rolling my eyes. "I am fine." I answer, taking his hand off my shoulder I notice he has one of Becky's threaded bracelets on. I look at him and he pulls his hand away, as if not to have me dwell on it for too long. I don't remember her giving her bracelets to him. Where did he get those from? I hear her call my name, in her thick accent and turn away from Finn. "Just goodnight guys, alright?" I say, before closing the door on them.
You're gone, gone, gone away
I watched you disappear
All that's left is the ghost of you.
Now we're torn, torn, torn apart,
There's nothing we can do
Just let me go we'll meet again soon
Now wait, wait, wait for me
Please hang around
I'll see you when I fall asleep
I lean on the door for a moment with a sigh, before I make my way up the stairs, stopping in the bathroom before our room. I plug the curling iron back in, and pull the robe from behind the door placing it on the side of the sink. I take a quick glance around to make sure everything is where it should be and shut the lights off when I'm finally satisfied. I walk into our bedroom and climb into bed, pulling the covers up and waiting. "Becks" I call, and wait, but get no response.
A door opens and hear footsteps making their way towards the room. "Dad.." Anthony Joseph calls, as he comes closer towards the bed. "Can I sleep with you?" he asks. Without waiting for me to respond, he climbs up, making his way underneath the covers. Snuggling up underneath my arm, gripping it tightly.
"You alright bud?" I ask, turning towards him.
He grabs my face with his small hands, and nods before speaking. "You called for mommy again. Can she hear you from heaven, dad? Is that why you keep talking to her?"
His words hit me like a pile of bricks and I'm brought back to my fucked up reality. Becky isn't here, nor is she coming back. The love of my life was ripped away from me just days after her 30th birthday. A drunk driver ran a stop sign taking my wife's car with it and pinning it to brick building across the road. She was dead instantly. "Yeah, bud" I choke back.
"Don't worry, dad. I hear mom too" he says kissing my cheek before snuggling himself closer to me.
Um.. I'm sorry?
Also, sorry for all errors found
