Disclaimer: not this time. Don't own HP franchise. Or Rolling Stones.
Warning: Slash, silliness, unsanitary uses of kitchen utensils
Pairings: Snupin
Rating: K+
Another Snupin Short. Inspired by my own inability to dance, but my willingness to try when I don't think anyone's watching… or when I'm putting dishes away
Severus Snape was not a person who found himself easily surprised. Upon entering his and Remus Lupin's house one evening he was given quite a strange greeting, which in turn triggered his surprise. Instead of interrupting the oddity before him, he merely stood in the doorway and watched, greatly amused, as it unfolded.
"-and I try! I can't get no! I can't get no! When I'm watching my TV, and a man comes on and tells me how white my shirts can be!" Remus sang, a spaghetti strainer on his head, a wooden spoon in hand and the shirt missing from his back. He bounded on the couch, singing lyrics into the spoon as if he were a rock star.
"But he can't be a man 'cause he doesn't smoke the same cigarettes as me! I can't get no, no, no, no! Hey, hey, hey! That's what I say!" He jumped atop the sitting room table, kicking aside week old magazines and scattering other papers. He wiggled, swaggered sexily, and giving his best Mick Jagger guitar strut before calming and giving another huskily voiced chorus.
"I can't get no satisfaction. I can't get no girly action, 'cause I try, and I try, and I try, and I try, I can't get no! I can't get no! I can't-"
Severus chose this moment to step from the shadows of the doorway, shocking the werewolf silent. He slipped backward off the table and landed on his bum, the strainer skidding across the floor.
"Hullo, Sev'rus," he said, wincing and blushing a very interesting shade of scarlet. Severus offered a hand and helped him up, scooping up the strainer as well.
"This is what you do when I'm not at home?" he asked, fixing the strainer back on Remus' head. Remus pouted, pushing it up out of his eyes. He tucked the wooden spoon into his waistband and stood up straight, trying to salvage his pride as Severus levitated the assorted magazines and papers back onto the table in neat stacks.
"Sometimes," he said, squaring his jaw defiantly. Severus smirked, seeing him act as thus.
"I'm pretty sure the cookware doesn't appreciate being used like that. Nor is it very sanitary."
Remus blushed, ducking his head in shame. Taking this momentary distraction for what it was worth, Severus quickly slid up behind his husband and wrapped his arms around his thin waist.
"And what's this nonsense about 'girly action?' " he purred into the werewolf's ear. Remus' legs almost gave out and he had to grip Severus' arms to stay upright.
"I thought I gave you enough satisfaction," the Potions Master continued, feigning hurt.
"It's just a muggle song, Sev," Remus gasped, feeling a love bite against his neck. He tilted his head back, offering up his throat like a submissive dog and causing the strainer to fall to the floor with a metal clatter. Severus chuckled.
"How come you don't sing like that for me?" he asked, turning Remus around to face him. "Or move like that when I'm around?"
" 'Cause it's embarrassing," Remus protested, draping his arms over the Potions Master's shoulders as the other man still had a grip on his hips.
"I like it though," he pouted and Remus couldn't help a small, bubbly giggle from escaping.
"Start me up," he said. " 'Cause once you start me up I'll never stop."
"Is that a promise?" Severus asked, grabbing him by the hand and tugging him into the next room. Remus laughed, hoping the wooden spoon might come in handy later.
