His little whispers
"Love me. Love me."
That's all I ask for
"Love me. Love me."

His breath tickled my neck as he whispered sweet nothings to me and kissed me gently. How had I gotten here, on this ratty old bed that belonged to neither of us? The combination of music from downstairs, his breathing, and my heartbeat deafened me as I lay there, trying to remember his name.

"I love you." He whispered almost too softly for me to hear. I nodded, licking my lips before kissing him back. "I love you." He said again, as if confirming it to himself. Sweat was forming on his forehead, but it didn't bother me enough to stop myself from moving in on him again. He smirked a little as he peeled off his shirt. His sticky body made me want his touch even more. I got my wish as he reached for my shirt. I started to stop him but he shook his head and continued to take it off.

"Slow down." I whispered sweetly in his ear although I knew that I had no intentions of having sex with him.

He battered his tiny fists to feel something
Wondered what it's like to touch and feel something

His fists were clenched but he nodded reluctantly and ran his hand down my face and neck. His hair tickled my nose as he kissed my neck more. I smiled as his sweaty, sticky body met my bare skin. After a few seconds though, his hands met my pants and he fumbled with the belt I had on.

Monster. How should I feel?
Creatures lie here
Looking through the windows

"No." I said simply as I tried to sit up a little. The weight of his body pushed me back down against the bed. I sighed as he nodded again, seeming to agree with my demands. His kisses were beginning to become uncomfortably forceful. I pressed my hands against his bare chest, trying to shove him away enough to catch my breath.

That night he caged her
Bruised and broke her

He came back at me even stronger before I could fully catch my breath. I coughed and pulled away, trying to get his mouth off of mine long enough to breathe. He wouldn't give me time though; he kept pushing on me more and more forcefully, his body crushing me with his weight. I managed to free my hands and push against his chest once more, but this time it didn't faze his at all. Frantically, I dug my fingernails into his chest, hoping desperately that he would let me up.

He struggled closer

He shoved my hands away from him but that only made me more frantic. I began kicking at him, but he straddled me and pulled away for a second. I coughed again, breathing deeply, thankful for the break. But before I could fully regain my breathing, he grabbed for my belt again. I pushed at him, trying to get him off of me but it didn't work.

"Stop!" I said, my voice cracking. He smirked at me again, stopping for a few seconds and just watching me. I shook beneath him, wondering if he was really going to stop.

"I can't." Was all he said before pushing me down harder against the bed. He managed to undo part of my belt before I began hitting him again. He made an annoyed sound but continued, ignoring me. I heard my belt hit the wooden floor and froze for a second before completely losing it. I slapped him across the face, something I'd never done to anybody before.

"Bitch." He muttered, rubbing his cheek. Before I could process what was happening, he raised his hand and struck me back harder. I cried out in pain, shaking harder. He grabbed both of my tiny wrists in one hand and held them down above my head as he tried to undo my pants with one hand. My cries did no good as he successfully pulled them off. I laid there, in nothing more than my bra and underwear, his body still straddling mine.

"Please-" I started while he removed one of my last bits of clothing. I struggled beneath him, fighting as hard as I physically could. The music from downstairs was so loud, I couldn't even hear myself screaming as he started. I felt a sharp pain, then hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

Then he stole her

"Stop." I cried, as he grabbed my wrists harder. His weight was crushing my ankles, obviously being sure that I could no longer kick him. He continued as if I weren't even there, using my body as a prop. I stayed as silent as possible. After about five minutes, what seemed liked hours, he finally stopped. He sighed deeply, obviously pleased with himself.

Violet wrists and then her ankles. Silent pain
Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams

"You were great." He whispered in my ear, releasing my sore wrists. I didn't attempt to move as he got up and began dressing. "Get dressed or you're going to miss the rest of the party downstairs." He said, throwing my clothes at me.

Monster. How should I feel?
Creatures lie here
Looking through the windows
I will hear their voices
I'm a glass child
I am Hannah's regrets

I laid there, unable to move even after he had left to return to the party downstairs. I had just lost my virginity to a man I didn't even know. Hell, I couldn't even remember his name. I pulled the twisted sheet from the bed around my exposed body. My body and mind went numb as I listened to the music from downstairs.

Monster. How should I feel?

Turn the sheets down
Murder ears with pillow lace
There's bath tubs
Full of glow flies
Bathe in kerosene
Their words tattooed in his veins

I finally decided to move, wanting to get back downstairs before anybody started to worry. My friend wasn't a big drinker like his boyfriend was, so he was more than likely sober enough to worry and come looking for me and if he did, I didn't want him to walk in on me like this. I gained my composure and stood, my legs feeling weak. I slowly made my way to the bathroom across the hall and got in the shower. I stood there, the cold water numbing my skin, as I tried to remember his name. It was as if if I knew his name, it would some how make it okay in my mind. Monster.

(((Song lyrics by Meg and Dia-"Monster")))