Artemis Gets the Surprise of His Life.

Very Short One Shot. Holly will be VERY OC, but it's just a joke.

Fowl Manor

Artemis sat in his room by the window, typing on his computer trying to concentrate, but he was having trouble. Holly was coming to visit in a few minutes and he still hadn't pulled himself together.

It wouldn't do to look like a bumbling, stuttering fool when she came in.

Which she did at that moment, two minutes and forty three seconds earlier than anticipated. Artemis nearly choked on the caviar he was eating.

"Hey," said Holly, removing her helmet, and shaking her hair out. Artemis caught himself staring and quickly stopped.

He managed to make small talk without looking like a fool. He kept telling himself to just suck it up and tell her what he wanted, but everything time he tried, he just ended up talking about something else.

Finally, Holly had to leave, and told him he could come to Haven next week for a small party at the LEP office. She said that since he had saved the people several times, he could have access to Haven, as long as he didn't try to steal any gold.

"Got it," said Artemis, with a smile and a wave.

Holly left and Artemis had to wait the longest week of his life until the party, when he could see Holly again.

The day came and Artemis arrived and went into the LEP building and found Holly's office. She was finishing up some paper work.

"The party is for someone getting promoted," said Holly. "But it's not for another thirty minutes."

"Holly, I love you," Artemis suddenly blurted out.

Holly stared at him.

Shit, shit, shit.

"I mean-I mean-" Artemis was completely tongue tied. Why had he just blurted that out like a total idiot!

"Oh, Artemis," said Holly, in a slightly sad sort of voice.

She's going to tell me every reason why we can't be together: I'm a human, she's a fairy, were too different, she's got a job, I'm an idiot who blurts out stupid shit at the wrong time.

Holly took a breath. "We can't be together, Artemis."

"I know," said Artemis. "Just forget it, I'm an idiot."

Holly felt bad, but she knew it wasn't as bad as how Artemis felt, especially if he was calling himself an idiot. "You're not an idiot. It's just, it's not you."

Typical line.

"But I just can't right now, I'm dating someone else," said Holly.

"Oh," said Artemis, wondering who it was. Trouble?

"Oh, there she is now!" said Holly, brightening and waving to someone outside the door. "The reason why is because I'm dating Lily Frond."

Artemis's eyes grew the size of dinner plates as Lily Frond pranced in and sat on Holly's lap and they gave each other a big kiss. Artemis's jaw hit the floor.

"But-but," Artemis babbled.

"Were lesbians," said Lily, looking at Artemis.

"But-but, that time-when you- in the gorilla cage-" Artemis continued babbling.

"I'm bi," said Holly. "But I prefer women mostly."

She and Lily gave each other another kiss. Artemis thought that was kind of hot, but he was still shocked and fell on the floor in a dead faint.

Artemis suddenly awoke in his bed. It had just been a dream…

Later, Holly came to visit him. He still remembered the dream he'd had earlier.

"Holly, you would tell me you're if a lesbian right? And if Lily Frond was your girlfriend?"

The look on Holly's face was one of shock. Holly hated Lily. He should have known better than to ask.

He braced him for the punch hurtling toward his face.