This story takes place in the Potterverse, ten years after the war.
And Now For Something Elvis!
Richard Goodfellow was in the middle of the never-ending paperwork that seemed to haunt Healers everywhere. The soft "pop" sound of his house-elf's arrival didn't disturb him, until he remembered that Chaucer had been out of the country, visiting a Las Vegas convention of pointy-eared beings. It had been a week since he last saw the elf, so he turned to look at him.
He was stunned.
The house-elf was wearing a white, one-piece outfit that covered his body from his neck to his wrists and his ankles. It had little shiny dots all over it and a big wide belt. Chaucer's eyes were covered with sunglasses, and he had something on the top of his head that looked like a small piece of Professor Snape's scalp.
"Um, I didn't give that to you, did I?" asked Richard, hoping that he hadn't. (After all, being hit by a stray Obliviate Charm could happen to anyone.)
"Chaucer got it at convention. Present from another elf. All elves had white jumpsuits or black leather outfits. Chaucer in group photo," the house-elf proudly announced, and handed him a photo of a large group of individuals of different heights, different widths: some of the beings looked human, some less so. Some were probably from off the planet. Half were dressed in white bell-bottomed jumpsuits; almost half were in black shirts and tight pants. The rest wore assorted outfits. All of the beings had pointy ears.
"Chaucer like jumpsuit," he announced.
"Uh, yeah," Richard said, wondering what the Ministry would have to say about it. Then he wondered what S.P.E.W. would say. He didn't want to hurt the little guy's feelings, but he was concerned that other house-elves would pick on him.
He stared at the odd sight and felt immobilized as he imagined receiving a flood of Howlers and hexes from other wizards and witches picking on him, but still didn't know what to say as the house-elf strutted and preened in front of a mirror that was in the room.
"Chaucer put it away, keep it nice for next trip to Vegas," he announced. "Get cape then."
"That's a good idea," Richard said, relieved. Then he wondered, Next trip?
"Uh, when's the next trip?" he asked.
"When Chaucer and friends get it scheduled," Chaucer said confidentially. "Would Richard Goodfellow like a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich?"
Still stunned, Richard nodded. "Um, yeah, okay."
The house-elf smiled back at him, and left the room singing, "Viva Las Vegas". He danced all the way back to the kitchen. A few minutes later he returned with the greasy sandwich and a glass of milk.
While Richard politely choked down the food, Chaucer chattered away about the convention. When both of them were finished, Chaucer took the dishes, and then Disapparated to put away the precious outfit.
If you've enjoyed reading this, you might also enjoy my other two random and silly fics, "And Now For Something Else!" and "And Now For Something Elves!" Richard Goodfellow is introduced in "Lucius Malfoy's Favorite Charity".
