Disclaimer: I do not own 'Bones'

A/N: If you didn't watch 100th episode yet, better don't read this. Major spoiler warning!

The Risk

She did it, she did that they were afraid the most .She rejected him. He was ready to take the risk, to take his life in his hands, but she simply rejected him. Resigned. And no, not because she did not love him. Contrary, she did it, because she loved him too much, too strong. She was afraid of losing him. And she could sacrifice everything, even their, potentially short, happiness, just to be with him her whole life. Even if that's just mean friendship. Because Booth was her friend, the best one she ever had in her whole life. But also, he was something more, he was someone who her heart belonged to. But by the long time, she could not confess to that, even to herself.

Anyway, firstly Booth was her friend, friend who wanted to risk their friendship to something more, to something more beautiful. But she could not do that, she could not take the risk. She was afraid, afraid that if something would happen, if she would do something, that then their relationship would be broken, that that would destroy everything, that their friendship would be gone. And that she was afraid the most. It would be hard for her to live, knowing that they never would be together, but she knew that she could never live without him. That's the reason why she could not risk their friendship, she could not risk the only one constant thing in her life. She just could not do it. She knew herself, she knew that she wasn't like that, knew that she could not be in a relationship on which Booth deserved. She just could not. She would destroy everything, destroy their relationship and destroy their friendship. She could not live without him so she chose work with him and friendship over than something which could be ethereal, which could not last forever. That's why she said 'no', that's why she chose work and friendship, not something which could be just momentary, that's why she rejected him. She liked better to live with the pain, knowing that she'd never risked, that she did not take the chance which faith gave her, she liked better to live with that pain that with the pain of losing him, of losing Booth.

And he listened to her decision and even if he did not approve it, he agreed. He said that he had to move on, found someone who would love him through his whole life. She told him that she understood. But when she was saying those words, her heart wanted to escape from her chest and shouted 'No, I don't understand! I don't want to!'

But she did good smile to bad game, just like he did and pretending that everything's fine and they went to the Royal Dinner.

At night, after their dinner, she lied on the couch, in pajama, covered in a blanket with tears streaming down her cheeks, looked into the wall, and the flashbacks from the evening appeared in her head over and over. Their discussion in front of the FBI building, their kiss, her tears, Booth's tears... their dinner... the same as others but different. Something was wrong, something had changed. It was not a big change but they both could feel it. After her words, after her rejection, something had changed. It would never be the same and she was aware of that. But her mind was telling her one thing and her heart other. And that time, her aching heart won the battle, her heart shattered on the ground in million pieces, grieving after lost love.

She tried to tell herself that she did not lose him, that they would be seeing each other, talking. But her heart was still bleeding, still could not understand her mind's decision. Though, she loved him, maybe even a little too much and maybe that's why she was afraid of taking the risk. She was afraid of hurting him, of losing him.

Even if her mind was rational, her heart were still screamed, yelled at her for her stupidity, trying to mobilize her to take the risk, to take their chance, to convince her to take back her words. The soul tried to hide the scientist in her, tried to find a little bit of a gambler and drew it to the surface. And this time her soul was successful, she jumped off the couch, did not care about her light outfit, did not mind the cold. She just grabbed her keys and ran to her car, flying like the invisible hands of destine were carrying her. And just because the roads at two in the morning were empty and all strength of the world were with her, she did not cause any accident, her ride did not end tragically. It was her night.

She parked in front of Booth's building and quickly ran upstairs, reached his door and lost all of her determination. Determination which brought her here. But she stand there, looking at the wooden door, could not make any move. Tears streamed down her face, goose bumps appeared on her skin. She felt cold wind, which seemed to give her the courage, push her to that door. To her destination. She found the pieces of her courage, hidden in her soul and loudly knocked at the door. She knew that her courage was not enough to knock second time.

She did not wait long. He opened the door and found his friend in a light pajama, standing in the wind, with tears on her cheeks. But he did not look better. Red, puffy eyes, messed hair and shirt and that sad look on his face, which mixed with care and anxiety when he saw her.

"Bones? What happened?" he asked and stepped aside, letting her in.

"Booth, please. Don't say a word, just listen. Okay?" she said, standing in the living room. She knew that if he would interrupte her, just one time, her courage would disappear and she would run away, as far as she could.

Scared Booth only nodded and she continued, afraid of looking into his eyes.

"Booth, everything what I said tonight... I mean... Geez..." she put aside her hair, not knowing how to say that. "... Booth, everything... well, that's what I said... I don't think like that. I don't want you to find other woman, I don't want you to move on. I don't want you to be with someone else. I want to be with you for next thirty, forty and fifty years. I want to be with you, but not as your friend or as your partner... I want to be something more... but I'm afraid, I'm afraid of losing you, afraid of hurting you. I said that I'm not a gambler, that I'm scientist... but… but I found a piece of gambler in me... I want to risk... Booth, I love you." she cried when she was telling last words, but she had not been looking into his eyes, but when she did, she had not expect to see tears in them. Did not expect to see big tears of happiness, streaming down his face.

Booth without a word took her in his arms and kissed her like his life depends on that kiss. Like world where going to end. Kissed her with the love of six years and she did not push him away. She kissed him back with the same strength, the same love and passion.

Even if they did not know how their further life would be looking like, they were happy. Happy that they risked, that they took their chance. That in twenty years, they would not ask themselves 'What if?'. And even if they would not be together, they would have an amazing time, they would be happy together as long as they would can. They just did not know that they were going to live together in the next forty, fifty and even sixty years. They did not know that yet but they would get the idea soon.

~*~The End~*~

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