Author's note: Okay, OKAY, I admit it! The Ballad of Mary Sue was far too overdone to have much success. So I'm taking a different angle this time.
Chapter 1: Creation
"I've got it! I'VE GOT IT! This time, that blue hedgehog and his friends don't stand a chance!"
Judging by the sounds of things, Dr. Eggman had just come up with a new and brilliant plan. His secret base out in the middle of the ocean rocked with his self-satisfied laughter, just like the day before when he'd finished that difficult sudoku puzzle. But this time it was different.
A personal computer in front of him displayed a web page. Across the top read - "FANFICTION . NET - UNLEASH YOUR IMAGINATION" on a blue bar. Below it, the page showed the contents of a story some punk had written. A portion of it read as follows:
"Ugh. Where am I?"
I slowly opened my eyes. I was lying in a swimming pool. Slowly, I climbed out. The last thing I could remember was turning on my Gamecube for a game of Sonic Adventure DX, and all of a sudden the TV malfunctioned and sucked me in, and now I was here.
Something wasn't right here. I didn't feel like myself. And when I saw my reflection in the glass doors, I knew why. Staring back at me in the glass was a pale green fox with four tails flapping in the wind, and a large sword in a sheath on my back. I was Joust, the same character I'd designed for my fan-fiction.
Before I could react, a familiar face appeared behind me. I whirled around and saw it: Sonic the Hedgehog himself! I didn't know what to say; it was a large honor. I stammered for a moment before one sentence escaped my mouth:
"Can I have your autograph?"
Sonic simply shook his head. "Later, kid. What's your name?"
I introduced myself as Joust. Sonic nodded. "Nice to meet you, Joust. Say, I'm going on a run to Windy Valley later. Do you want to come with me?"
The doctor had more or less found the website by accident. He was bored, and was searching the Internet for something to do. This website caught his interest because of everything that was written about the hedgehog and his rivalry with the doctor.
Something had piqued his interest about this particular story, and many others similar to it. Some kind of recurring theme. This appeared to be the keystone of the idea that had just popped into the doctor's head. He had already turned away from the computer screen and begun sketching some kind of blueprint out.
"There's no way," Eggman repeated to himself silently, "that Sonic and his friends can stand up to Experiment gee-ninety-three!" He said the last part slowly and with a deeper and more evil tone, to emphasize its potential badassness.
"What happen? Someone set up us the bomb. We get signal!"
Sonic was on the ground laughing, along with the others in the park. Tails was right in the middle of reading a book to everyone, and he was cracking up as well.
"I cannot believe someone wrote that!" Amy spat out in between chuckles.
"Yeah, it's absolutely stupid!" It wasn't like Knuckles to give in to humor, but even he had to yield to this. He was floored just like everyone else was.
As the small crowd in the park laughed their heads off, none of them were at all aware of the potential doom that was being prepared for them at that very moment.
"Aaagh! Urrrrgh! Hup! Hi-yah! There, that does it!"
With great effort, Dr. Eggman tightened the final screw on his latest invention. The main part of it was a large hollow glass cylinder, which looked like a teleport chamber or a cloning unit or who knows what from a sci-fi movie. It was hooked to a large CPU which in turn was connected to an interesting control panel with several settings.
One by one, Eggman turned on all the parts of his invention. The CPU hummed to life, and several lights on the control panel flickered on. The doctor was planning to create the one thing that would be sure to overpower Sonic and his friends.
The ultimate Mary-Sue fan character.
End chapter one. Now I bet you're scared.
