A.N. Hey, guys! This is a new fic…my first songfic…most likely a four-part series. Some of the lyrics don't exactly fit, so I'm doing the best I can. Hope you all enjoy it!
Disclaimer: CCS and all the characters are not mine. This song, 'Just Want You To Know' is and owned by Backstreet Boys, not me…
Dedicated to: Kyu-chan (UserID: Mizuki Kyuuka), Fuji-chan (UserID: tennis-tensai), Kazumi-chan (UserID: anime+mangafreak), Mona-chan (UserID: mikigurl)
Guide
Bold: Thoughts and title of song
Italics: Lyrics, P.O.V and flashbacks
Chapter 1: Just Want You To Know
"Just Want You To Know" by Backstreet Boys
Sakura's P.O.V
Syaoran left me,I thought, staring out the window, looking at the night's sky, tears rolling down my cheeks.
Flashback
"Sakura," Syaoran said as we were walking home together from school.
I looked at him. He had some sort of expression on his face, the kind that I cannot explain, but it was an expression I didn't really want to see. But I didn't expect him to say what he said next.
"Sakura, why don't we cool off for a while?" he said, not quite meeting my gaze.
"Why?" I said. I couldn't keep the frostiness out of my voice.
"Well, maybe we'd be better of alone…or perhaps you'll find someone better than me," he said, looking away when I looked straight into his eyes.
I don't want anyone else but you, I screamed mentally. I could feel my heart shattering. The pain that I felt was excruciating.
"Okay. I guess this is it," I said, not looking at him as I walked away. He grabbed my arm as I left. I turned around.
"I'm sorry, Sakura. Can we still be friends?" he asked. I didn't say anything. I felt I was being selfish. I can't stop him from finding happiness in his life. So I nodded and walked away.
But as soon as I thought I was out of his sight, I couldn't stop the tears that were falling. Are you happy now that you got what you want?
(End flashback)
Looking at your picture from when we first met
I pulled at all my drawers till I found a photo of a couple of days after when we first met. He was scowling while everyone was smiling. I started to laugh, cause he looked so funny, but after I laughed, I started crying. I wish I could turn back time.
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
I remembered the rare times he smiled at me. I could never forget those smiles, because most of the time he was always scowling or looking normal, until those expressions sort of became part of his face. But when he smiled, his smiles were practically infectious.
And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night
That night. The night where I confessed I liked him. He hugged me. That night was perfect. We managed to capture the card, and I finally admitted I like him. I think we were the happiest people around then.
Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind
I can't stop thinking about you. It's impossible to stop thinking about you. Nearly everything I see reminds me of you. I still have to see you at school anyway.
The
days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
I couldn't forget those times where we stayed up all night to capture the cards. Those times seemed so far away now.
Yeah, you and I were
everything, everything to me
However much I want you to be happy, I still missed you. That's what you were. You meant everything to me. Did I mean anything to you at all? I climbed on my bed and fell asleep, exhausted after crying so much.
Dream
"Sakura, want to go to the skating rink after school today?" Syaoran asked.
"Sure," I said.
After school, I headed to the skating rink with him. We skated together. He fell a couple of times and we laughed together.
Then, everybody at the skating rink froze except us.
"Do you feel it?" he asked.
"Yes," I said. The presence of the card was obvious.
(End dream)
I woke up, expecting to find myself at the skating rink. Then I realized it was a dream. I had wanted it to be real. I lied on my back, staring at the ceiling. I fell asleep again soon after that.
All the doors are closing I'm tryin' to move ahead
The next few days were torturous. Everytime I saw him, I could have cried. But I didn't. I had life before him, and I can have life after him. I don't want to move on. I just want to hold on to those moments forever. But I have to move on.
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
I knew he said that we'll be friends. But there's some sort of rift between us. We greet each other when we meet, but we rarely talk. The pain I felt since the day he left me still remains. I wish it was me, I said, seeing him talk with Meiling, occasionally smiling and laughing.
My dreams are empty from the day, the day you slipped away
Since that day, I had dreamless sleep. And each morning, when I wake up, I don't know what to look forward to. There is nothing.
So far, I haven't told anyone about our breakup. Not even Tomoyo.
"Sakura, is there anything wrong between you and Syaoran?" she asked, one day, when we were walking home, about a week after that day. I didn't answer, my eyes filling up with tears. I haven't cried since that day, and it was a relief to cry the tears I've been holding back.
"Sakura…what did he do to you?" she asked quietly.
I told her everything, in between tears.
"What?" she said, gaping in surprise, "I'm gonna…"
She walked up to Syaoran, who was walking far behind us. I didn't look, but I could hear her.
"Li Syaoran! I can't believe you did that!" she yelled at him icily. I turned around to look. Syaoran was standing there, a stunned expression on his face. I have never heard Tomoyo yell before; it was totally contrasting with her normally quiet personality. Tomoyo didn't wait for an answer; she just turned around and caught up with me.
"Wow," was the only thing I managed to say.
"I had a lot more I wanted to say to him. But that was all that came out when I started to say something. Sorry," she said.
"If you need to talk about anything, you know you can always talk to me," she continued.
I nodded. I felt a bit better after pouring out all my feelings, everything to someone.
I just want you to
know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it
through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could
believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have
to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
That since I lost
you, I lost myself I
just want you to know That I've been fighting to let you go
No I can't fake it, there's no one else
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some
days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I
wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to
me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want
you to know
Some days
I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish
that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But
still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
I wanted to let you go, but at the same time I was holding back. The scar he left was still fresh, and the pain was still there. I made it through most of the days, but there were nights that never end. I couldn't sleep, and I kept thinking of him. I desperately wanted to believe that some day we'll be together again. No matter how much pain I felt now, if I was given a chance, I'll do it all over again. Since I lost you, I lost myself. I can hardly concentrate on anything, and I rarely laugh or smile.
I wrote a note to him a couple of days later, and stuffed it in his bag when he wasn't looking.
Syaoran,
I just wanted you to know that if I was given a chance, I'll do everything all over again.
Sakura
A.N: I know I haven't written anything for a long time. Gomen (sorry)! I'm a bit rusty now, so I hope this fic will match up to the others I have written. Please review.
