So this fic is long overdue. It's about time I wrote some more Mella, plus this storyline has been begging to be written since mid season 3. This fic will be about what would have happened if Stella hadn't had a miscarriage in ep 310. I'll try to get chapter 2 posted soon but those of you who read my other stories will know that my updating schedule is pretty unpredictable. I would love to hear what you all think of this. I know there aren't many Mella fans on this website but every little review is like a hug and they actually do make me write faster.
This chapter turned out very different to how I planned. Firstly, it's nearly double the length that I though it would be and secondly, it was supposed to be completely platonic (I'm sure you will realise what part of the fic it was that I realised that things weren't as platonic as I planned). Anyway, enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Rush or any of the characters.
Chapter One
She'll call you when she needs you – Kerry Vincent
Stella Dagostino sat in her bed with her head in her hands, shocked by the events of the day. After collapsing while chasing an offender, she had been rushed to hospital where she had received the news that she was pregnant. On top of that she had just been informed that she was very lucky not to have miscarried, just in case she needed something else to worry about.
The news had come as a complete shock to her. She didn't think that she was ready to be a mother. Sure, she had made that pact with Michael to have a child when they turned thirty-five, but this seemed completely different. Thirty-five seemed like a far and distant future as opposed to the here and now. She didn't know if she could do this.
She wasn't upset as such about the news that she was carrying Michael's baby. Deep down she knew that they were going to end up together eventually, but there were so many unsaid things between them, so many things that needed to be discussed before they brought a baby into the mix. While she knew that she wasn't ready to raise a child, she also had serious concerns about Michael's parenting skills. It was only a week earlier that he had eaten a combination of pickles, sardines, mustard, ice cream and whatever other strange foods Leon had added as a bet before promptly throwing it up minutes later. After this Michael's biggest concern was that Leon still had to pay him his twenty bucks, according to Michael keeping the food down wasn't part of the bet. She just didn't think that they were ready for a baby.
Stella stood up and walked over to the mirror, lifting up her shirt to examine her stomach. She turned to the side, running her hand over her stomach. While she didn't look any different and her stomach didn't feel any bigger, she felt completely different inside. She felt the panic begin to return as she thought about her future with this child. She didn't want to be a single mum. She knew that she had to tell Michael.
Turning away from the mirror, Stella grabbed her phone and texted Michael before she could chicken out. He deserved to know. Plus, she was going to need all the support she could get. She needed to know if Michael was going to be there for her. She didn't think that she could get through this without him.
Michael glanced at his phone for what would have had to have been close to the hundredth time that night. He knew that Kerry had told him that Stella would call him when she needed him and that she just needed rest but he couldn't shake the felling that she needed him. It was a gut feeling. He had felt as though something was wrong since the morning, even before she had collapsed. He just couldn't stop himself from worrying about her.
Michael looked down as he heard his phone buzz, seeing that he had a new message notification from Stella sitting atop his background which was a photo of the pair of them grinning, arms around each other and not a care in the world. He smiled at the memory as he opened the message and read it.
Can you come over?
Michael didn't even have to think about it. If Stella wanted him then he would be there as soon as possible. He couldn't help it. He would do anything for her. He was just picking up his keys when the second message came
I need you.
This settled it, not that there had been any doubt before. Murmuring a quick excuse and goodbye to his friends, Michael made his way out of the bar and towards Stella's house.
About fifteen minutes after she had sent the text messages, Stella heard a knock at the door. It had to be Michael. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she stood up and made her way over to the door. Upon opening it she was greeted by the concerned face of her best friend and father of her child.
"Hey, Stel," he said in a soft tone as he gazed at her, trying to discern what was wrong. She was never this forward with admitting that she needed him. Truth be told it scared him quite a bit to see her this vulnerable, he was used to the brave and tough Stella, but that didn't mean that he loved this Stella any less and it certainly didn't mean that he was going to run away. He would be there for her no matter what.
As Michael stepped inside he took the opportunity to take in the sight of her. She wasn't okay, that much was obvious. She was standing there in old sweats with her hair messily pulled back into a pony tail. Her eyes were red and puffy, a sure sign that she had been crying, and the dirt and grime from the day's work was still present on her skin, but to Michael she was beautiful. She was always beautiful in his eyes.
"So are you going to tell me what happened at the hospital?" questioned Michael in a concerned tone, needing to know what it was that had his Stella so upset.
Stella had planned on telling him, she really had, but now that he was here in front of her the prospect seemed a lot more daunting. She shouldn't be afraid to tell him, he was her best friend after all, she could tell him anything. Yet she couldn't find the words to tell him this. There was still so much more that had to be said first.
She felt the familiar feeling of tears pricking at her eyes. This had been happening all afternoon; she supposed that it had something to do with pregnancy hormones. But that didn't make her feel any less stupid.
"Stel," Michael murmured in a worried voice as he brought her into his arms, seeming to take away all of her worry in his embrace. Yet she still couldn't find the words to tell him. Instead she stood there in his arms, letting the tears fall. He was the only one who she would allow to see her this vulnerable; she trusted him. But she still couldn't say the words out loud. Saying it out loud would make it real and she wasn't ready to deal with that yet.
When Stella finally ran out of tears, she finally managed to compose herself. She was a little embarrassed by her actions, but she was with Michael so it was okay, she could be herself with him. However, she knew that there were more important matters to deal with than her embarrassment.
"Michael," she said softly as she wiped the tears from her eyes, finally finding her voice. "If this was the last time we were ever going to see each other, what would you say?"
"Stella?" he questioned as his worry increased. This was not the sort of conversation that he had expected to have. All sorts of possibilities of why she has said these these words ran though his head, each more terrifying than the last, before he managed to speak again. "Are you dying?" The last word came out as a whisper, almost as if he was too afraid to say it and entertain the possibility of losing her.
Stella shook her head, causing a sigh of relief to escape from Michael's lips. He knew that he wouldn't be able to handle losing her.
"Are you okay?" he asked, knowing that there was still something she wasn't telling him. Stella shook her head.
"Will you be okay?" he asked again. He knew that she would tell him in her own time but he needed to know that she would be okay.
She nodded this rime before resting her head on his chest. She knew that she would be okay as long as she had him. While Michael's worry wasn't exactly eased by Stella's vague answers and her admission that she wasn't okay, he was glad that she would be alright eventually. He vowed that he was going to do what it took to make sure that she was okay.
"You still haven't answered my question," prompted Stella, turning the focus back to Michael. She wanted to know what his answer would be.
"I would tell you what you already know," he replied sincerely, trying to avoid the question.
"And what's that?" she countered. She was determined to hear the words come from his mouth, assuming wasn't good enough anymore. Michael looked like he wanted to say something but was having difficulty getting the words out. It seemed that both of them always struggled to tell each other the important things.
"Stel," he began. If she really wanted to hear it from him he would find the words somehow, no matter how hard it was for him to voice the feelings that he had harboured for three years. He thought it was obvious how he felt.
"What do you want me to say?" he continued. He was looking to her for answers, just as she was doing to him.
"It's okay, Michael," she murmured, slightly disappointed. "You don't have to say anything." She wasn't going to force him to say something if he didn't want to. If he was going to answer her he would have to do it in his own time with his own words. Michael wrapped his arms around her tighter, bringing her in closer to his chest, his actions saying what his words weren't. She let herself sink into his embrace, finding comfort in his arms once again.
"I need a shower," Stella announced after a moment, breaking the silence as she realised the state she was in.
"Alright, how about you go and do that and I'll order us some food," Michael suggested. He had a feeling that she hadn't eaten all afternoon and thought that a relaxing night on the cough was a good idea.
Stella nodded as she was released from his arms. His plan sounded like a good one. Silently she walked towards the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She took a deep breath as she leaned back against the door in defeat. She had chickened out. Now Michael knew something was up and he was worried, plus she was still no closer to telling him that she was carrying his child. She would tell him eventually, she was just going to have to come to terms with it herself first.
Stepping away from the door, Stella made her way across to the middle of the room where she began to remove her clothing. After taking off her clothes she caught sight of herself in the mirror. It was all in her mind of course, but she felt as though she could already see a baby bump. She started to panic again as she felt the tears threatening to return. She couldn't handle this alone. She knew who she needed and fortunately for her he was only metres away.
Wrapping a towel around herself, feeling more vulnerable than ever, Stella made her way out of the bathroom and into the hallway. Standing just in view of the kitchen, she stopped, watching as Michael put the phone down after ordering their dinner.
"Michael," she called softly, barely loud enough for him to hear. She wouldn't have been surprised if he hadn't heard her, yet he turned around as if she had shouted his name. Taking in the sight of her standing there looking lost, he immediately strode across the room to her. He placed his hands on her bare upper arms as he gazed into her eyes, seeing the emotional need. Her eyes were the windows to her soul and though she didn't say anything, he knew exactly what she needed.
Releasing her arms, Michael led Stella back towards the bathroom. After closing the bathroom door behind them, he turned on the shower before beginning to undress. Once the water had heated up, he gently reached out for Stella's towel, catching it as she released her grip on it and letting it fall before she stepped into the warm spray.
Moments later Stella sensed Michael entering the shower behind her. She felt the panic leaving her at his presence. Wanting to get rid of the grime and sweat in her hair, she reached for the shampoo bottle, only to stop as she saw Michael reaching for it as well. Deciding to let Michael take charge for once, she retracted her hand and was soon rewarded as she felt Michael's hands massaging the shampoo into her hair. A soft sigh of contentment escaped from her lips as she relaxed and subconsciously let herself sink back into his chest, enjoying the feeling of his skilled hands massaging her scalp.
After Michael had finished washing her hair, Stella stepped under the spray, rinsing all the shampoo out while Michael reached for the soap, working it into a lather in his hands. He brought his hands to her back, exploring her body and cleaning as he did so. His hands travelled across her back, down to her waist and then back up to her shoulders in one fluid motion, his fingers searching and exploring while still providing comfort.
His hands moved down her sides before moving towards her stomach. Stella involuntarily tensed at this new direction his fingers were taking, paranoid that he would be able to tell that something was different. Michael stilled his hands, sensing her discomfort. He gently brought his lips to the top of her head in a reassuring gesture as his hands began to slowly and softly move again, taking it slow, millimetre by millimetre. She found herself relaxing again as his fingers worked their way across her stomach.
In his arms she felt safe from her troubles and found herself forgetting about the pregnancy. For the first time since she had found out, she didn't feel defined by this pregnancy. Together they were just Michael and Stella, just like they always were. When they were together all the other complications seemed to fade away.
Stella stood there, relaxing as Michael continued to pay the utmost attention to cleaning her body. Sure, his hands wandered and he paid more attention to certain parts of her body than he probably should have, but to tell the truth, Stella didn't mind. It was nice to feel wanted. No, the way his hands moved over her flesh wasn't particularly platonic, neither was her body's reaction to his touch, but then their relationship had never been particularly platonic.
As the water began to rinse the soap from her body, Stella reached for his hands, bringing them around to her stomach and holding them there. He moved closer, pressing his chest against her back and holding her tightly. Stella vaguely wondered if he could feel any change in her as his hands rested on her stomach and found that the thought didn't worry her so much anymore. She would tell him eventually. She just had to wait for the right moment.
Soon the pair were clean and the water was beginning to run cold. They knew it was time to get out. As they were getting out of the shower, the doorbell sounded. Michael offered to get it, knowing that it was probably their food. Stella watched as he wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out to answer the door. She supposed that she should probably have some sort of objections to him answering her door in nothing more than a towel, but she found that she didn't really care. It felt natural. She enjoyed the sight of his bare muscled back walking away from her. It was the sort of sight that she could live with seeing every day.
Tearing herself away from the sight, Stella went to her bedroom to get dressed. She grabbed the first comfortable things that she could find and pulled them on before making her way out to the lounge. There she found Michael, still clad only in a towel, setting a couple of pizza boxes down on the table.
As Stella sat down, Michael grabbed a slice of pizza and sat next to her. She looked over to him and saw how relaxed he was. He looked like he lived there as he lounged on the couch eating his pizza, still only wearing a towel. For a moment Stella let herself imagine a life with Michael and this baby. She could see pizza night becoming a regular family tradition; although, she was still a long way away from that. She still hadn't even told him that she's carrying his child.
After the pizza had disappeared, Stella found herself gravitating towards Michael, seeking out comfort in his arms. Her head rested on his chest as he sat half behind her, his arm draped lazily over her waist. She found herself wondering what life would be like if every night was like this. She was incredibly grateful that Michael was there for her. It seemed like every time she needed him he was there. Without thinking about it, Stella turned her head to the side, her lips seeking out Michael's for a soft kiss.
"What was that for?" Michael asked as she broke away from him. He wasn't used to this side of Stella. Here she was, showing affection, kissing him gently and cuddling with him. Normally she wasn't this affectionate. Ordinarily if she wanted him she would let him know and they would get straight down to business, but here tonight she seemed to just be enjoying the moment.
"Just thanks," replied Stella with a smile before bringing her lips back to his. Michael's lips parted under hers as the kiss deepened. Stella brought her hands up to grip his hair as she turned around to face him, rising up as her chest pushed against him. She moved her legs so that she was straddling his lap, needing to get closer to him. He moaned into her mouth as she ground against him, feeling his obvious need for her.
While Michael loved every single moment that he spent with Stella and had enjoyed their shower immensely, at the same time it had been like torture for him. In that moment he had known that she had needed him emotionally and he was happy to be there for her. He would be there for whatever she needed, yet that didn't change the primal need that his body had for her. But now she needed him emotionally and physically and he was more than happy to deliver.
Pulling away from him, Stella stood up. She reached out to lace her fingers with his as their eyes met. There was a tenderness in her eyes that Michael wasn't used to seeing from her in moments like these. He stood up and followed her as she led him by the hand to her bedroom. He would follow her anywhere.
Once they were inside Stella's bedroom, she turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him fervently. As she broke away, she ran her hands down his chest before reaching for the towel and tossing it to the floor, keeping eye contact with him the entire time. Michael took a step forwards, closing the almost nonexistent gap between them. It was his time to take care of her.
He ran his hands down her sides slowly, memorising the curves of her body before gripping the hem of her t-shirt and lifting it up her body. His gaze remained fixed solely on her as the shirt was tossed to the floor and his hands moved to the waistband of her pants. Michael was pleased to find that she wore nothing under the pants and soon she stood naked in front of him.
Stella reached out to gently cup Michael's face before bringing her lips back to his. She reached out for his hand again and gently pulled him over to the bed. Stella lay back on the bed before Michael joined her, his lips only leaving hers for a moment. Her hands clutched at his hair as one hand moved to her breast and the other travelled between her legs, his touch almost electric. A whimper left her lips as her legs moved to wrap around his waist.
"Michael," she moaned her need for him evident. It was all the encouragement he needed.
Her hands gripped him tightly as he entered her, her nails digging into his flesh. Stella found herself losing herself in the sensations as he began to move inside her, swept up in the pleasurable dance. She glanced up, meeting tender green eyes which were looking back at her. In that moment Michael felt as though the pair of them had never been more equal. There was something different about this night, something special, something more; he could feel it.
Stella moved her hands up to Michael's shoulders, flipping them so that she was on top. Her hips moved against his, meeting each thrust. Michael watched as she tipped her head back in pleasure. Her eyes were half closed, her hair cascading down her back and her mouth slightly agape with her erratic breathing. Michael felt three little words forming on the time of his tongue, yet he held them back, afraid that they weren't the words she wanted to hear. Little did he know, the same three words were running through Stella's mind, muted by fear.
Soon Stella found her release, with Michael joining her moments later. She slumped down next to him, trying to catch her breath and one of her arms lazily fell across him. She felt his chest rising and falling as he also struggled for breath, both coming down from the high of the satisfying experience. Michael moved his arm so that it was around her, still comforting her and letting here know that he was there. He was always there for her.
As she cuddled into his side, he tightened his arm around her, holding her close to him. He turned his head to gently press his lips to her forehead before lying back on the pillow and allowing his eyes to drift shut as sleep claimed him.
Stella lay there silently, feeling at peace for the first time in hours. With Michael there she felt safe and knew that she could handle whatever came her way. As she lay there she made a decision; she would tell Michael that she was carrying his child in the morning. He deserved to know. He was there when she needed him and she knew that in the upcoming months she would only need him more and more.
