BPOV
His
hands played on my skin. The time went so slow. One second could be a
minute. His eyes were attached to my. I could see my reflection in
his golden eyes. I smiled and saw how his face changed to
curiosity.
"Why are you smiling?" He asked and I was almost
chocked by hearing his beautiful voice again. When we met, which
could have been an hour ago we didn't say anything. The feelings
overload and the only thing that we could say was each others names,
each others names over and over again until one of us kissed each
other. I remember how his lips changed form into such an amazing and
beautiful form and met mine with an unspeakable feeling. Like if he
wanted to describe word with it, like if he couldn't explain better
than sinking down into my soul and make all of my feelings float and
then rip it out so it could meet his. "Bella? What is it?"
Suddenly I realized that all of my thoughts must have frozen me, I
met his eyes. "Oh, nothing it's just that I don't think I can
live without you, I don't have enough words to describe my feelings
for you and I have to, I want to, be able to describe them." He
looked confused, like if I had said something crazy like jumping of a
cliff. But his expression changed quickly into a relaxed smile. He
closed my eyes and wiped my tear of my cheek with his soft and ice
cold thumb.
"You have time my love, all time in the world. I'm not going anywhere." His voice, it was so, so different, it was darker and more serious than before. I liked it but it frightened me.
We just laid there for a moment and examined each others face with our eyes.
"Edward…I now what I want, and that is to be with you forever. My dream is to have you, to have everything that stays with you. I can't live without yo.."
He cut me of by putting his soft and cold finger on my trembling lips. He didn't smile with his lips, but with his eyes. They really glowed in the moonlight. I saw his bare upper shimmering like small stars when the moonlight searched the room. He breathed slowly and never let his eyes go away from my. I felt how my cheeks were starting to get hot and fielded to a red colure. Now he smiled.
"Bella",
he kissed my hand, "Bella", my arm, "Bella", my shoulder, his
lips searched thrue my body in a way that made me shudder. I think he
noticed because I could almost here his laugh under his breath and
now I could here my heart beat harder and feel the blood thrue my
veins pumping faster and faster, but he staid calm, like always.
"Bella", now he was by the throat and I felt how my cheeks got
hot like if someone started a fire in my mouth. I hoped that it would
be to dark for him to notice. "I love it when you do that." I
heard him say under his breath laughing. I was about to hit him but
realized that would only give me a bruise or two. Instead I gave him
my killer eye. He just smiled and kept going. "Bella" now he was
in my face kissing. It felt like he was gonna kiss every single spot
with skin. At last "Bell.." his lips met mine. Not hard but not
soft either. It was almost aggressive but I liked it. He pulled me
over so that I was lying on his body. I straitened up and smiled.
That night, I found no sleep for a long time, but I don't think he
ever noticed. He played with my hair, my fingers and sometimes he
kissed me softly just to ensure me of that he was still their.
Sometimes I even got to hear him sing my lullaby. I guess I fall
asleep after a while because I woke up hearing Emmett which proved
that I hade sleep talking again. So degrading. "Emmett, get out of
hear" I yelled at him under the cover. "What did I say this
time?" I asked Edward looking up. "Nothing special love" He
said but I didn't trust him because of his look. He looked sad in
some way. My thoughts were going wild in my head and I wondered what
I had said. My first night at the Cullen's and I've already
embarrass myself. I just hope that next night I can shut up. I could
smell eggs from the kitchen downstairs and I looked at Edward. He
only smiled and lifted me up in his arms and, in my point, flew
downstairs.
"Bella!" oh no!
I heard Alice looking for some clothes in her closet. I promised her
that she could say "I'm sorry" to me, but never did I expect
that she would choose my clothes for a whole month. I won't tell
her that she has to stop, that will only upset her and I know now
that she only wants to make things up to me since they left me.
Edward has done everything he can for me this month that they've
been home and sure I like it, but something's bothering him and I
don't know what.
"Their you are Bella! I've been looking for you" Alice came dancing with a blue dress in her hand, actually for being Alice it wasn't that dreadful, but as usual I didn't like it. "Come with me, I will fix your hair to" She couldn't stop smiling so I agree and followed her upstairs to her room.
All day long Edward acted weird, Alice said that she didn't know why but I saw in her eyes that she did not tell me the truth. I got to think of Emmett, who always tell me the truth, and when I got to him it was already dark so I didn't have much time until Edward would come looking for me.
"Emmett, please? I know you were in the room. I know that you heard every single word that I spoke last night. I can't stand seeing Edward like this." I almost begged him. I felt ridiculous. But that was the price I was going to take. "Okay, fine. I know what you sad but I promised Edward not to tell you. He's my brother Bella" He looked worried, and I had got enough, I wanted to know what was going on with Edward. "I don't care if he's your brother or not Emmett, he is my boyfriend, my love and I'm the one who has to stand next to him while he pretends to not show me how hurt he is by some kind of reason! So you should tell me right now, I'm in fact your "sister in law". Please Emmett?" I almost yelled at him and understood that everyone in the house had just heard every single word I just said. Lucky, Edward was hunting with Carlisle so he hadn't heard me. Emmett stared at me and he smiled. "You se me as your brother?" he teased me. "Oh, don't even think about it Emmett. I wanna know." His smiled fainted away and his face got serious. I had to admit I was terrified. "Okay, I will tell you but you have to promise not to tell Edward okay?" I nodded and he continue.
"You know how Edward felt when he thought that you were dead right? And well when we came home, he just wanted to make it all up to you." I tried to cut him of but he wouldn't let me. "You know that Edward will always think about you and about all the things he did to you. That will not faint away for a long time Bella and this night well...it started of pretty sweet. You spoke his name and smiled a lot. But around midnight, you started to cry. Small drops were flowing down your cheek and you screamed. Like when James had bitten you" I got Goosebumps when he sad his name. The memories got me to freeze. "Edward didn't want to wake you because you started to calm down. It was fine for some hours but then it started again. But now in some way, it was worse. You shouted out Edwards name and begged him not to go, not to leave you. You told him about all the feelings you gone thrue when he was gone and that this time, you wouldn't be able to heal again." I must have looked stoned because he leaned over me and gave me a huge hug. My eyes filled with tears that rolled one by one down my cheek. Emmett brushed them away with his fingers. "You see Bella, Edward was totally frozen the hole time, he didn't move an inch and I tried to make him wake you up. But that was pointless. We talked a lot when you slept. Some things were about him thinking you thought he was gonna leave you again, but I ensured him of that it was only dreams and that you were still just a little shaken by having us home again. That didn't help and when you woke up he made me promise not to tell you what you had been saying. He was really destroyed Bella" I was speechless. The word just wouldn't come out. We sat their for a long time. In a while Emmett thought it would be good if we stepped downstairs. Alice now knew that I knew, I could se it in her eyes and she formed her lips into a "I'm so sorry."
The door slammed open and I saw a shirtless Edward walking thrue the door. I was breath taken. He smiled at my blushing. "I will never get tired of that" He said laughing while he kissed me. "Neither will I" Emmett laughed. I ranged my tongue out against him. "Let's get you into bed, you look like you could need a good night of sleep" I nodded and he carried me upstairs to his room.
EPOV
"Bella?" I couldn't help myself looking at her amazing face. "Mh, what is it?" She turned around and met my eyes. God how lucky I am. "I was just checking if you were sleeping or not, I didn't wake you did I?" She smiled at me and nodded her head to a no. I kissed her gently and she lay down again. I could hear her breathing getting slower and calmer so now I knew she was asleep. I started to hum her lullaby softly. I knew how she likes to her it when she's going to sleep.
"Edward, please get out of their now! Emmett can sit beside her tonight. I can't stand your face another night!" It was Alice. She talked to me before and she thought that I wasn't gonna be with Bella tonight because in her vision she had seen Bella sleep talking again. And everyone in this family wanted nothing more than making me not hear her thoughts.
The door opened quietly and Emmett step to my side of the couch. "Edward, I can deal with her dreams, please. I can't stand seeing you get hurt like this!" I growled at him. "I want to hear my mistakes and I want to know how much I've hurt her." He looked at me like if he was ready to scream in frustration but I knew Emmett, he wouldn't do that when Bella was sleeping next to me. "Emmett, I can handle this. You know, when I heard what I did to her I was about to break through. But I remained calm so that I wouldn't wake her up. It's not her fault. It's in her head and she just need's to get it out. She doesn't know that I hear her and I don't think she wants me to either." Emmett cut me off. "Se! You said it yourself, she doesn't want you to hear them and that's why you shouldn't be her and listen." I understood Emmett's thoughts. He had a point and I knew it, I just didn't want to leave her here. "What if she wakes's up Emmett? What am I going to say?" He thought for a while and I couldn't make anything clear of what he was thinking. "Tell her the truth. She will understand and you know it!" Why haven't I noticed this before? Emmett was actually quit smart. I softly laid Bella down in the couch and switched place with Emmett quick enough for her not to wake up.
"Good job Ed, I don't think she'll wake up. Jasper's sending out signals of sleepiness now so she will sleep." It was Alice who had walked in to the room and led me out of there. "But Alice, I will hear Emmett's thought about what Bella is saying, this is meaningless!" She gave me a little grin. "No, he's gonna think of Rosalie all night long so I guess you will just hear some things you never thought they were doing." She laughed at me when I made a face at the word she said.
Unlucky, Alice was right. The only thing I could get out of Emmett's head was his and Rosalie's nights together. And I wasn't that interested about them so I talked to Alice instead.
"Okay Alice, what's up with all this strange thoughts you're sending me?" I asked seeing her face twist to different kind of face's. "Well, now that I heard Bella's thoughts about us leaving her I can't stop thinking about it Edward!" She almost screamed. I saw her eye's filled with tears that came one by one down her cheek. "I feel so terrible about giving her all this nightmares and unlucky thoughts. I even got some visions from her when she thinks' about the future and that one day, she'll wake up and we all will be gone again. That's her biggest fear Edward!" Before I could take her in my arms Jasper was there to hold her. He gave me a eye but I just shock my head no. I was as dumb as Alice was right now. I just gotten to know about Bella's biggest fear and that was not to die or something like that. It was that I would leave her again.
Alice started to calm down again and she send Jasper away so that we could talk. "I'm sorry, it's just that, she's my sister! I love Bella. When I get all this different visions from her at night I get terrified." She looked at me with her gorges face and tried to make me understand her sit. "Alice, I do understand you and one thing I know is that Bella loves you exactly as much as you love her! No doubts. But please, can't you please tell me about you're visions?" I asked with a gentle tone so that she would say yes. Inside of me, I felt like a monster. When I saw her visions in my head I just shocked my head no, over and over again. Alice tried to calm me but that was too late. I ran out of the house. Out to the woods were I could be alone.
I don't know how long I was out their but I was faster then a second when I heard Bella scream my name.
"Were is she?!" Carlisle tried to calm me down. "She is in you're room, she just woke up and saw that you weren't their." I didn't understand why would she scream? I tried to get something out of Carlisle's head but he struggled with thinking about other stuff then what had woke Bella up. I gave up and went upstairs. Alice tried to stop me but that was worthless.
"Bella? Bella love. I'm here." I walked to the couch but she was sleeping, mumbling sweet like she always did. "Please Edward, I promised Carlisle AND Alice. You don't wanna know what she will do to me if I tell you." I could hear Emmett's thought. In one part I could understand him. But in my own part I wanted to know what Bella had screamed about. "Emmett, what could make this worse? I already know that her biggest fear is that we will be gone when she wakes up. Please Emmett?" His face was twisting, I understood that he was gonna show me in my mind instead of telling me.
I concentrated hard. It went black, then I could se Bella's terrified face. She cried and cried. Emmett had her in his arms and tried to calm her down. She shrieked. "No! He can't be, please Emmett, please. He can't be gone! What did I do wrong?! EDWARD?!!" I could se her terrified face burning. The tears didn't stop falling. Then it went all black again.
"Brother? Are you alright?" I heard Emmett. I didn't realize that I ha pushed myself against the door. I just made Bella's worst fear come true.
