I wanted to die. I wanted so badly...
...so badly...
It wasn't fair. It was never fair.
Peter Pettigrew. The short one. The ugly one. The stupid, clumsy one. The tagalong.
James Potter. Popular and outgoing. Sirius Black. Handsome. Remus Lupin. Smart.
I wanted to be their friend. Someone worthy of them. But...they never truly accepted me. And now? I hate them with all my heart.
Why does a small part of me want to be with them and know what I said is untrue? Why does it scream at me, this is the utmost betrayal?
No. Never. I won't. I can't. Stop. STOP. STOP!
And now I cry. Cry because it's too late. Cry because I know that what I've done is wrong. Cry because...I want to be stronger. I wish I could go back.
But I can't.
Now I'm running. Panting. Sweating.
In my heart, I know the truth, but I keep going. I'm slowing. I'm not fit enough.
Then, I remember.
And start again.
There it is. The charred ruins. And it's all my fault. I scream. I scream.
And scream.
And scream.
And cry.
And stand.
Goodbye, James. Sirius. Remus. Peter.
And I mourn his death. Peter's death. For the proud friend, loyal friend, good friend is gone. Forever.
I cry.
And mourn.
For the death of the boy called Peter Pettigrew...
Because, now, the only one left is not Peter, but the servant. The slave.
Of the Dark Lord.
