MY FIRST LIE

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Flippant

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"You were my first lie."

He was so flippant.

He wasn't even looking at me when he said this. Instead, his attention was being focused upon something else. He was turned away from me, head tilted downwards as he looked down onto the heavily populated carnival grounds.

It was early fall. It was cool enough for the atmosphere to be welcoming, the sun dim enough so that fairs were popular. And he'd invited me to keep him company.

The basket of the ferris wheel was a bit shaky, even without either of us making any sudden motions and I wondered what the hell he meant by what he'd just said.

"Why is that?" my voice came off much more annoyed than I'd previously thought and I cursed inwardly. I didn't want to set him off just because I couldn't keep my inherent bitchiness inside.

I saw the corner of his lip quirk up and breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't irritated yet, so maybe there was still a chance that he wouldn't revert into his non speaking mode.

"It's because I told you that I loved you before I did." He finally faced me and just that single motion caused the basket to start swinging in earnest.

I clung to the side railing, screaming at him, "Fuck! Couldn't you have goddamned picked a better place to get all serious with me!"

He laughed and it was a good sound. It made me happy to hear it. Made me think that perhaps he was being serious instead of just sadistic. "What could have been a better place?" He shifted his facial features into a pleasant mask, but I knew he was just dying to smirk and act smug because of my fear of heights. "You're afraid of heights, so I think this is the perfect spot. I can say anything to you and all I have to do is..." He grabbed the railing with both hands and started swaying, "...this..." He continued to make the basket move as I screamed at him. "...and you can't do anything about it."

I was pissed. "Fuck, you sadist! Stop moving the damned basket! This thing's an antique, it could fall at any second. Stop it!"

He stopped moving and with the same hands that he'd been previosuly tormenting me with, steadied the motion of the basket. "How is it that you can be the top student in the Academy, but you're scared of riding on the ferris wheel?"

He was unscrupulously eyeing me, waiting for my response as I finally managed to regain my sanity and fight back the urge to kill him.

"That's because I control everything up there. I don't control this thing. How do I know if the attendent's drunk? He could be pissing somewhere right now and this thing could spin out of control, sending us to our premature deaths below." I slit my eyes at the end, causing him to laugh and go back to looking out across the fairgrounds.

He was dressed nicely today. A silky cream colored dress shirt with long sleeves, ending in mounds of tasteful french lace ruffles with the top button undone. A vertically ridged black vest with a v-neck and a pair of lineless slacks completed his outfit. I loved the way he looked today. And he was wearing a pair of rimless glasses, his hair undone and the bangs framing his face. He looked like every highschool girl's dream tutor. However stupid that must seem.

And I, by comparison looked lacking. Sleeveless black shirt, transparent on the sides and clinging softly to my upper body. Baggy black linen pants with two huge front pockets and a bolero hat. I looked New York cool, but Zechs looks gorgeous.

I cleared my throat, breaking out of my stupid stupor of admiration and went into interogation mode.

"What do you mean that I was your first lie?"

"Like I said. I told you that I loved you before I ever did."

I took off my hat for a second to wipe my hair from my eyes. "But...you haven't ever told me that you love me, Zechs."

He smiled then and I would always remember the way he looked when he said the next.

The ride came to a sudden stop and the wind forced strands of his hair to fly across his face. He was looking down, eyes partially closed and looking pensive.

And then he looked up and said:

"But you think I do."

He sat up and exited from the ferris wheel platform.

And I couldn't even move out of my position.

'But you think I do.'

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Written a lifetime ago, it seems. Simplistic, flawed and stylistically lame. Oh, Zechs. Oh, Noin. Why can't I stop wanting to write you two?