Pacts and Promises
[Major P3P female Moon S.L. spoilers! Fair warning!]
The hospital staff greets her as she walks into the corridor. She no longer needs to show them her ID—she comes every Sunday morning, without fail. Today is rainy and her winter clothes are soaked. She sneezes and shivers. One of his nurses rushes to her and offers to warm up her scarf and sweater, an offer she accepts with a warm smile, even if the nurse notes the tiredness in her red eyes.
She enters his room quietly, careful of the other man asleep in the bed beside him. Another coma patient. The nurse has her chair already set up at his side, and she is touched again by her kindness. Sitting, she takes his hand into hers, and sighs at how cold it is still. Aside from the tiny flutter of his chest, and the steady deep-deep of the monitor, he looks like death.
Nothing has changed in the last few months—except for everything.
She pulls his hand up to her mouth and presses it to her lips, wishing for a twitch, anything to show that he knew she was there. "I don't know what to do, Senpai," she whispers, her voice cracking with tears. "You remember I told you about Ryoji, right? He seemed so nice. He even… he even was willing to love me. But… He's a sign of the end, Senpai. He's going to call down the end of the world…"
Her hands grip more tightly, tears falling hard and fast now, sliding down his ashen skin onto the sheets. "We're going to die, Senpai." Her voice is little above a hiss, muffled by his hand and her closing throat. "We're all going to die.
"And he's given us a horrible choice. We can fight until the end and die at the hands of the goddess Nyx before spring. Or… or we can kill him, and die in peace."
A gurgle comes out her mouth as she breaks into hysterical sobs. She knows she can't let the others see her like this. She's their leader. They depend on her. She cannot show them how scared she is.
"I need you to wake up, Senpai," she manages, looking up into his face. "Please. Help me…!"
She prays—to anyone, to anything. She looks deep within herself, surveying the Personae she's gathered in this fight against the Shadows, but they all just stare back, unable to help.
All but Atropos, who only raises her scissors and mouths, Soon.
She snaps back to the present, a sudden chill causing her to tremble. Atropos has been saying that for weeks now, ever since she was brought forth from the depths.
"I'm only 17," the girl whispers. Her practiced bravado is gone now, stripped from her, leaving only the raw fear and hurt. "Please… help me, Senpai…"
But Shinjiro Aragaki's eyes remain shut.
Mahiru Kuroha dries her eyes as best she can and lapses into silence, going back to her usual routine of just holding his hand until she can no longer stand his silence.
Then, she fixes his sheets—though they don't get rumpled since he doesn't move—strokes his cheeks, kisses his forehead, picks up her purse and walks back outside. Today, she goes to the nurse's station, where Shinjiro's nurse gives her back her sweater and scarf, now toasty warm from sitting on the space heater. She wishes her goodbye, but the nurse isn't fooled by the smile. She watches the girl go, suddenly aware of the stoop of her shoulders and the arch of her back—the signs of someone with far too great a burden to bear.
Sunday, December 13, 2009. The nurses gather in their break room, discussing the latest gossip. Shinjiro's nurse is oddly silent. "She didn't come today," she says.
"Who?" the others ask.
"That girl, Kuroha-chan. She always comes in every Sunday to see Aragaki."
The others shrug and hand out the usual excuses—sick, lazy, uncaring—but the nurse doesn't believe them. She knows Kuroha the best of the group, and she knows that a girl who came like clockwork for nine weeks straight wouldn't just stop because she got sick or tired.
In the last hour of visiting time, Kuroha arrives. She looks the worst that the nurse has ever seen her. She doesn't even smile or say hello like usual; just walks through his door and goes to her seat.
Shinjiro's nurse peeks inside, watching the girl she's come to know. There are dark bags under her normally-pretty eyes, and there's a hollowness to her cheeks that suggest she hasn't been eating properly. But she's still there to see him. The nurse feels slightly vindicated, but is mostly filled with worry.
The girl is crying, and the nurse can no longer stand to watch. The doctors are still saying that it's unlikely that Aragaki will ever wake up. And yet, that poor girl still comes, still talks to him, still carries hope that, one day, he will open his eyes.
A week later, she's back, looking somehow even worse. The nurse offers her some coffee or a warm drink, but Kuroha turns her down, attempting a placating smile that ends up looking more like a grimace.
"Kuroha-chan," the nurse says uncertainly. "Are you sleeping okay? You don't look too well lately."
The girl blinks up at the nurse, as if she doesn't understand. "Oh," she says after a moment. "Um, no, I guess not, but I've got a lot on my mind, so…"
She looks so sad! The nurse begins to scramble. Funny! Be funny! "It sounds like you could take a lesson from your boyfriend in sleeping," she tries. She winces at the callousness of her "joke".
Predictably, it has the opposite effect. The practiced smile slips away and tears begin to swim in those eyes. The nurse mentally berates herself as Kuroha slips into the room, rubbing her eyes with her sleeve.
"It's almost Christmas," she murmurs, still within earshot of the nurse. "You can't be sad on Christmas…"
Kuroha spends Christmas with Yukari and Fuuka, but though she plasters on the happy smile, her spirits are flagging. She thinks about Shinjiro. She thinks about Ryoji. She thinks about the choice she has to make, and it's all she can do not to be torn apart.
She can't talk to her friends, not when they're both trying so hard to cheer her up.
On December 27th, she makes her decision. She sits at Shinjiro's bedside, stroking his cheek, holding his hand, when suddenly, his fingers twitch, closing tightly around hers. She gasps and quickly presses the call button. The nurse hurries in and laughs in relief at seeing her patient's fingers. After almost three months of no to minimal response, seeing him react to stimuli…
She quickly calls the doctor and they try to elicit something more. However, after a good twenty minutes of hand-holding, he lapses back into non-response. The doctor is still pleased though.
Mahiru looks down at her boyfriend and kisses him gently. She thinks she sees his eyelids flutter in response.
"I won't kill Ryoji," she murmurs to him. "We're going to fight for our future, Senpai. I'm going to fight for ours."
December 31st, 2009. Ryoji appears at the dorm and asks Mahiru to kill him. She takes him up to her room and they talk. "I won't kill you," she says.
And despite his pleas, his begs, his threats, she stands on that promise, because nothing is undefeatable, especially not if it means saving the lives of her friends.
"Exactly one month from tomorrow..." he says. "January 31st, 2010. Nyx will descend to Tartarus... ...and the world will end."
She runs her fingers across the face of the watch Shinjiro gave her what seems like so long ago and watches Ryoji leave the dorm, mentally steeling herself for what must be done.
Soon, Atropos whispers.
January is a month of chaos. It really does start to seem like the world is coming to an end. It's on the lips of all the people she meets and all over the papers and Internet. An enemy has emerged as the "Messiah", asking the world to accept the end.
She spends a lot time in the Velvet Room, talking with Theo, looking through the Compendium, planning her strategy for Nyx. …And Takaya.
The thought of that wretched man sends her blood boiling, calling forth Siegfried. He hovers above her for a moment, then points at a tab in the Compendium book, XVIII, the Moon Arcana, Shinjiro's Arcana.
She flips to the last page and the watch on her wrist begins to glow. As she watches, a blank page begins to fill in. Sandalphon, the ultimate Persona of the Moon Arcana. Yes, this was a fitting Persona to use against Takaya—the one who had shot Shinjiro.
She quickly summons the necessary Persona from the Compendium, pouring the money into Theo's waiting hands. "Suzaku, Garuda, Gurr, Yatagarasu, Horus…" she murmurs as she drains her wallet and strains her mind, suddenly trying to hold all of those powerful Personae.
Then, Igor draws them effortlessly from her heart, manifesting them as cards. He spreads them onto his glyph and they glow and connect, exploding with white light.
Sandalphon emerges, towering above her, his metal body gleaming. He looks down at her and bows his head, speaking with a voice that contains a hint of Shinjiro. "Let's do this."
He vanishes into her mind, filling her to the brim with power. She feels the strength of the Moon Arcana within him, pulsing with the rhythm of her heart.
With this Persona, she can defeat the undefeatable.
On January 30th, the day before the Fall, she goes to the hospital, even though it's a Saturday. A different nurse is on staff, so she has to show her ID and fetch her own chair, but she doesn't mind; it's the least thing on her mind.
"We're going tomorrow," she tells him, kissing his hand. "We're going to defeat Nyx. I wish you were awake to say goodbye." She sniffs sadly and stands to press her lips to his forehead. With a flash, Sandalphon awakens, even though it's not the Dark Hour.
Mahiru finds herself in a strange, distorted world. Shinjiro stands in the center of mutated apartment buildings, Castor—his Persona—seeming to strain under his skin, stretching and morphing his features.
She goes to his side and holds him tightly, willing Castor to rest. Hush now. Soon, you won't be needed, because the Shadows will be gone and the world will be at peace once again. We will stop the Fall, Castor. Sandalphon fills her words, lending them truth. We will stop the Fall.
Shinjiro's flesh stops roiling and he opens his eyes, looking into Mahiru's. He smiles and she is catapulted from his dream and back into reality.
She gasps as she sits up from where she'd been bent over Shinjiro. She doesn't know what she's seen, but it gives her hope. The pulse on heart monitor seems to have gotten faster.
"I'll come back and see you on February 1st, okay, Senpai? I promise."
"Graduation Day" they promise. We'll all meet on Graduation Day. She takes this to heart, carving it into her soul. Her friends are the world to her. She runs her hands over her naginata, feeling its familiar heft. She looks at the people gathered around her and smiles at them. She's scared to be sure, but also excited, eager to test her strength against a goddess.
"Mitsuru-senpai, Akihiko-senpai and Yukari-chan, you be the front line with me. Junpei-kun, Ken-kun, Koromaru, Aigis, you back us up, keep us from being flanked or surrounded and protect Fuuka-chan. Understood?"
They all nod, and the seven march up the steps of Tartarus, blasting Shadows out of their ways as they ascend.
They battle the remnants of Strega. Jin is too weak to stand against them. And soon, there he is. Takaya.
He tells of the cause of Nyx's awakening—the will of people themselves. The people of the world want the end to come. They want to die.
But only part of her is listening.
She advances on Takaya, her rage smoldering behind her ruby red eyes. He calls forth Hypnos, his Persona, but Hypnos is weak, just like Takaya.
With an almost cruel laugh, she brings forth Sandalphon, his metal body gleaming in the gloom of Tartarus. He cuts Hypnos easily, again and again and again.
Finally, Akihiko has to launch himself at her and interrupt her concentration, lest she murder the man.
"Let me go, Senpai!" she screams, Sandalphon wavering in and out of physical existence as she struggles. "It's all his fault Shinjiro-senpai is…! It's all his fault! Let me kill him! Let me kill him!"
"We have other matters to deal with, Mahiru-chan," he says as patiently as can be expected.
Takaya coughs as he lies on the ground, battered. "Go on," he taunts. "Kill me. I have no fear of death."
Mahiru looks down at him and flips her naginata, pressing the tip to his throat. Her friends say nothing. They understand why she's doing this.
And yet…
And yet… as she looks down at Takaya, his gray flesh even paler than usual, marred by dark bruises from Sandalphon's fists, his white hair askew…
It's not worth it. Save your strength for the real fight, Mahiru, Shinjiro whispers in her ear.
She pulls her weapon away and flips it back around, staring down at Takaya. He really is weak, without his precious gun. He'd always been weak, she realizes—that's why he hid behind the gun in the first place. More than hate, she feels pity now—the pity you feel for a cricket with only three legs.
She doesn't hear what her friends are saying behind her, because she looks up the stairs and sees stars above them.
They have found the top of Tartarus.
Nyx's Avatar is waiting for them. Even with their most powerful attacks and buffs, it is a difficult battle. She can feel her friends' strength flagging, their Personae weakening as their minds succumb to exhaustion.
Finally, the Avatar collapses. Mitsuru, gasping for breath, asks in a soft voice, "Did we do it?" There is a general stirring of relief…
At least until the Avatar stands once more and begins to rise up to the moon, which is starting to fall towards the earth.
Nyx is the moon.
Pandemonium breaks out in the city below, as people awaken to find themselves in the Dark Hour. The Shadows begin to feed.
A blast of pure energy radiates from the moon, crushing everyone. They struggle against the power in order to stay standing.
Takaya struggles up behind them, laughing wildly as his dreams of apocalypse come true.
Another shockwave comes, and everyone is knocked once again, but fight to stay on their feet. Nyx's Avatar looks at them with pity. "What's the use in fighting?" he asks.
Another blast. Expending their last stores of energy, the group begins to collapse. Including Mahiru.
She slams into the floor, and her consciousness starts to fade. However…
She's back in the Velvet Room, Igor surveying her over his large nose. He comments on how remarkable she is, and as he speaks about her power, a large mass of energy begins growing in his hands, fueled by the bonds she's forged.
"The power of the Universe."
He smiles at her and the elevator stops.
"You were truly a remarkable guest."
She's back, facing the moon—Nyx, but she's now fortified by the power created in the Velvet Room. The once-crushing pressure is now light, so light in fact, that she can no longer keep her feet on the ground.
The moon is falling, and someone has to stop it from hitting.
And that someone is her.
The time is now, Atropos whispers.
She floats up, into the light, into the power, into the heart of Nyx.
On the other side of the floating, golden orb, she senses another presence. A boy. She knows, as people sometimes just know in dreams, that he is her, and she is him. Perhaps in another world, in another time, in another dimension.
The two make eye contact and they nod, turning their focus back to Nyx.
Her attacks are devastating, and yet, they keep getting back up, strengthened by the bonds they hold.
They meet eyes again and nod, calling forth that great power they forged—trading their lives for the safety of the world.
As their consciousnesses fade, two words come to them in sync: Graduation Day.
Using the last of their power, they both propel themselves back down to earth, determined to spend their last few weeks with their friends.
She is so tired. She feels her heart beat in her chest and she knows those beats are numbered—a countdown to Graduation Day. But she does her best to be her cheerful self for her friends—even if they've forgotten everything.
She wonders about Shinjiro. Sure, he'll remember her, but so much of their connection was based on Personae and Shadows. Would their relationship even survive if he did awaken?
It's the end of February when she gets the news—a call from the hospital. "Mahiru Kuroha? We're happy inform you that Shinjiro Aragaki has woken up from his coma! He won't be able to have non-family visitors for a few days while we run some basic cognitive tests and give him physical therapy to restore his atrophied muscles, but he should be well enough to leave by March 3rd!"
She cries, for once, out of sheer joy. She happily informs the others, who all but dance in relief.
But she's weakening fast. She sleeps most of the time now, barely able to function on less than twelve hours. She knows her time is running short.
Graduation Day, she meets with Aigis—the only one who remembers everything. They sit on the roof as the seniors get their final accolades in the theater below. She wonders about Shinjiro and wishes she could see him, but her legs are too weak to move now.
And then, like a godsend, he appears. "I heard—" he gasps. "I heard your voice—in a dream—! Graduation Day on the rooftop…" He bends over and pants. "You sure know how to push a sick person, you know that?" he jokes. "I just got released a little while ago."
And just when she thinks her legs can no longer move, they do. They carry her into his arms and she thanks whoever answered her prayers.
"I can't believe I almost forgot everything," he says, limping towards a bench with her in tow. "I knew you were there, by the way. I always knew. I'm so glad I met you." He kisses her forehead, just as she had to him all those times, then moves his lips lower. He pulls away, looking concerned. "You're so cold. Here." He throws his coat over her shoulders and tucks it around her. "I've never felt you so cold."
She leans into his chest, smiling the biggest she can. She finds that her jaw is too heavy to lift, and her eyelids are fast joining it.
"Mahiru? What's wrong? Why so quiet?" He touches her forehead. "You're like ice!"
She can't answer him.
Her eyelids slip closed. The door to Nyx begins to twinkle in her mind's eye, calling her to complete the seal she began.
"Mahiru?"
As the others' voices begin to echo up the staircase, her consciousness falls away,
rising up into the
endless blue sky.
A/N: Sadfic, but you saw it coming. I always liked the idea of the male and female protagonists meeting inside Nyx, like She connects the two dimensions they live in, and it's really due to the power of two Universes that She is sealed.
And for the extra nerdy, my protagonist's name: 黒刃真昼 Kuroha, made from "black" and "blade" and Mahiru, meaning "midday".
