Choices
Chapter One
Jaime inhaled deeply, savoring the crisp mountain air. She looked back at the cabin; Steve wasn't up yet. Of course, it was only 5:00am, but Jaime loved watching the sun come up over the eastern mountains. This morning, she wished the sun would take its time. A difficult, probably painful conversation waited once the day had officially begun.
They'd arrived at the cabin the previous evening, right after her release from the hospital. For the first time since they'd resumed their relationship several months earlier, they'd spent a night under the same roof - in separate bedrooms. Neither of them knew if there was still a relationship to salvage, but they both hoped the love between them was still strong enough to weather the blow it had been dealt. They were here on Steve's suggestion that they spend some time alone together, to 'patch this up and make it float again'.
Jaime loved Steve now as much as she ever had, and she had no idea what had possessed her or why she'd been so drawn to Sam. Steve had seen them kissing, and not a 'friendship' kiss, either. Oscar had seen them doing a bit more than that and had talked to Steve about it, believing he already knew. She hadn't slept with Sam, but if she was honest with herself, Jaime had to admit that, with the spell (or temporary insanity) she'd been under, if she hadn't been in the hospital, she very well might've done that, too. But could - and should - she admit that to Steve? Trouble was, he'd want to know why, and Jaime had no answer for that. She had never been a cheater and had always believed faithfulness to be vital in any relationship. How could she explain something she had no answer for?
The drive up to the cabin had been quiet and tense. If there was still a chance for the two of them, neither one wanted to blow it. They'd shared a quick, mostly silent dinner, each one searching the other's face for any clue as to how this might turn out. They'd gone to their rooms early, to rest up for what was to come.
"Beautiful," Steve said as he sat down beside her. He couldn't remember ever feeling this tentative and awkward with Jaime.
"Yeah," she agreed, "I was afraid you'd missed it; it's the best part of the scenery up here."
"I meant you," he said softly. Was she trembling? "You cold?"
"No."
Steve moved closed, put an arm around her and felt her lean into him, just a little. He loved this woman more than life itself. "Jaime, I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose us."
"Neither do I," she said, very quietly.
With his other hand, Steve reached over and tenderly brushed the hair from her face. She looked so sad. He took a deep breath. "In some ways, I feel like I already lost you, the first time you kissed Sam." His next words spilled out before he could stop them. "And whatever else you two did."
Jaime recoiled as though she'd been slapped, she pulled away from him and her eyes filled with tears. "Steve, I didn't sleep with him."
"From what Oscar saw, you might as well have." The hurt Steve felt was spewing out as anger and venom, and he didn't know why.
"What did Oscar tell you?" Jaime asked.
"I would hope, since you were there, you already know what happened."
"Aside from the fact that I was under heavy sedation - and pain meds - I'd like to know what he thinks he saw."
"He said it was about as far as you could've taken things fully clothed." Steve turned and kicked a large rock, shattering it to pieces. "Yeah, he took advantage of your being drugged, but you didn't try to stop him or even tell him 'no'. Apparently you were having an awfully good time." Jaime was speechless. Steve took a moment to calm down, and when he looked at her again, the pain in his eyes stabbed through Jaime's heart like a sword. "Why, Jaime?" he pleaded.
"I...don't know."
"Do you love him?"
"No!"
"But you have no idea why this happened?"
"I wish I did -"
"So do I," Steve told her. "I need to go for a walk." Jaime got up to join him but he stopped her. "I need to be alone right now. We didn't come up here to fight, but if I don't walk away for a little while, I think it might be World War Three." Steve could see the tears she'd been holding back beginning to cascade down her face, but he knew he'd only hurt her more at that moment if he stayed. With a heavy heart, he walked away, leaving Jaime to cry alone.
