Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.
Chapter 1: a-Lament
Inspired Music: a lament [ Track 6 of OST 2 ] ~ Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru
Have you ever felt the feeling of saying something stupid, something you don't mean – to the person you love, and you found out that it's too late to take back those words which might have hurt?
"Idiot…"
It had never occurred to me that my words could have pierced through her almost-broken heart. I thought she was used to it – these insults I mean.
"You call that food? I call that garbage!"
I thought she knew that's how my personality really is. I thought she accepted the fact that I'm always that way the moment she agreed to be my girlfriend. Well, who knew?
"Oh, it's just one anniversary we're missing. So what, there's always next year, and the next, and the next…"
There's no longer a next year it seems. What I said last, had probably been the last straw for her. She couldn't come to accept it.
She always smiled at me despite the snarky remarks I give her even when I claim to be her boyfriend. Up until the very day I came home at four in the morning, stinking of alcohol. I knew what she had in mind then.
"You could have just told me that you no longer want me here,"
I was drunk; I had no control over what I said. People claim that being drunk allows you to be truthful, just to anyone. But did they ever include in the huge ego certain men have?
"Leave then, if you want to leave so much. It's not like I care much…"
Everything that night was a blur. I remembered her turning away from the door and before I knew it, it was already nine in the morning and I had a huge hangover. I was greeted by nothing but silence when I reached the dining. Where was the good morning that I had always expected? Where was the smell of eggs and bacon that would have made me drool?
I went into her room – it was void of company. The place looked as though no one stayed there. I grunt in frustration. Did she really think I meant every word I said last night? Did she really leave because I said something so stupid last night? I thought…she was smarter than that.
Here, I'm pouring out my regrets - no one to confide in. I hugged my knees, weeping – as my head throbbed.
' a-lament ; To regret deeply; deplore '
This is one story I'm writing based on what I'm feeling at the moment. Feeling of frustration with no apparent reason, I'd lash out at just to anyone. I'm stressed out to the point that I want to cry. I have no wish for sympathy from others, but I just want to tell people that the world is not filled with Happy Endings and trust.
