I'm writing a collection of one shots based off of situations I've read off of . Each chapter is a new story, completely unrelated from every other one. Pairings will primarily be Arthur/Merlin.

If you can correctly guess which story I've used for any of the one shots, I will write your own personalized fanfiction. Any pairing (minus Arthur/Gwen and Arthur/Morgana) you want, and I'll fit it to whichever story you choose. I'll use stories from Not Always Right, Related, Working, and Romantic. So, there's a lot to choose from. I hope you enjoy reading these, writing them has been far too fun.


Chapter One
TheGreatPumpkin69

Merlin kept mostly to himself. He lived in a small one bedroom flat that really wasn't the best, but it was damn cheap. Even if he had to deal with a tiny hot water tank shared between five other places, and the window didn't close all the way so in the winter the cold wind whistled through the cracks and he had to pad it with tape and blankets. It was okay because it didn't cost him much, so he didn't have to waste all of his hard earned money on rent, he could spend money if he wanted to. He ate well and was a decent cook, though often he simply forgot to eat. He'd get distracted by a really good book or a game and he'd end up realizing it was three AM and he had a shift at the pharmacy with his uncle in less than eight hours and he should probably go to bed.

He and Gwen had gone out the night before – they had got a bit stupid and wasted a pretty penny and Gwen was sprawled on the couch, looking a bit miserable but content, watching stupid television with a rather large mug of hot chocolate and a couple glasses of water on the table in front of her. Merlin wasn't entirely feeling up to sitting up, his head throbbing uncomfortably despite the painkillers. He had rearranged his whole computer so he was sprawled in the bean bag chair with the keyboard in his lap, and the mouse awkwardly on a book beside him. The screen had been carefully rearranged so it was on the chair. It had been a hell of a lot of work for his hungover mind, but it was decidedly worth it as he lay there, playing games absently. They weren't really speaking much, just watching their own screens and nursing their hangovers, waiting for the Chinese food delivery guy to bring them greasy food that would make everything better.

His character was a mage with colourful robes and a bright bird following him. The bird was named Merlin because he got a laugh out of it when he had created it, no one would suspect that it was his actual name. Gwen had named his character TheGreatPumpkin69 because she thought she was hilarious and they had been carving dirty things into pumpkins before baking them into pies("Merlin you didn't seriously carve your own penis into it, did you, because I really don't want to see that!" "Mine doesn't bend that way." "Merlin!") But he had been using the character for a long time now, and he was fond of it. So who cared if the name was a bit gay anyways?

Thankfully, neither of them worked today. Gwen had showered and changed into shorts and one of Merlin's t-shirts. She had left enough clothes here that she could probably invest in her own portion of the closet. But she still liked wearing his shirts and he really didn't know why but he wouldn't let her take them home.

When the food arrived, they stuffed themselves on the couch and ate, mocking Gwen on her show choice, only for her to mock him as soon as he changed the channel to something he liked. "You're the worst gay man ever" She stated grumpily. "Go back to your games, you freak, and leave me to my girly programmes" She whined, and Merlin surrendered the remote.

"I watch cooking shows?" He offered helpfully. There were some good ones he would watch whenever he happened to be watching television at the time.

"The worst"

The food was good and eventually Merlin wandered off for a shower after Gwen's complaints that he smelled ("I don't smell, you're just smelling your own feet. Why would you put last night's socks back on?").

When he got back, Gwen was tucked happily into the couch and her show again, offering Merlin a mock glare as she threw one of her socks at him.

They settled back into comfortably ignoring each other. Gwen would probably go home later, but not before whining that she didn't want to walk until Merlin offered to drive her, even though moving was difficult enough, let alone driving. Or he would just let her stay the night, again, and she would probably get sick of the couch again and come take over Merlin's bed like she had last night. He absolutely adored her, really, and if he wasn't decidedly interested in not-women he would date the hell out of her. They'd probably be making at least eighteen babies by now, and working on another thirty two more, if he were straight. They'd have a big wedding, maybe down by the ocean, and they'd invite all their friends. His mum already adored Gwen and treated her like a daughter anyways, she'd be thrilled.

"We should get married" He stated cheerfully, even though his mouth felt awful and he probably should have brushed his teeth. "We'd get tax benefits and you could get all dressed up in a dress."

"You'd have to wear the dress, Merlin. If I'm marrying a gay man he'd have to wear the dress. I'd wear the pants."

"No way! I'm not wearing a dress. You're the girl, you'd have to wear it."

"We could both wear pants?"

"I guess.."

"Okay fine, I'll wear the bloody dress. But you're still the woman."

"Gween" he whined.

"Hey, after we're married, you could come out of the closet and break my heart. Then I could go on a talk show and talk about how you pretended to be straight because your family wouldn't approve, and that I was so hurt because I loved you soooo much and we could make thousands!"

"I don't want to insult my mum like that though."

"Well fine, maybe you grew up in a place that hated gay kids?"

"But anyone who knew me would know that wasn't true. Then we'd be frauds and we'd have to give all the money back."

"Shit."

Merlin bit his tongue to keep from grinning like an idiot.

"You ruin everything, Merlin" She complained, stretching like a cat on the couch and cuddling the remote between her palms because Merlin's stuffed animals were way too far away for her to go get when she felt so sluggish. Though Merlin didn't own any stuffed animals. They were Gwen's and two of them were his mother's and he definitely didn't cuddle the large plush dragon at night. No way.

He was on a quest for something important, though he couldn't remember exactly what it was. He knew he was going in the right direction though.

It was a busy day, there were a lot of other characters running around, and as he got closer to a group of them, he heard his computer speakers buzzing away with words he couldn't hear. Curious, he stretched across the comfy chair to grab his earbuds, plugging them in and popping one into his ear. He heard the tail end of a conversation "Haha what a fag" and that kind of shit. Rolling his eyes, he kept moving, intent on running right passed them. "Hey buddy, you're a fag aren't you?" he heard one of them say, and sighed heavily, tapping in a quick answer.

Wouldn't you like to know.

Because Merlin was proud of himself and used correct punctuation when he wrote.

"This game isn't for fags. Why don't you go play that Barbie game?"

I didn't know there was one. Thanks for letting me know! I'll have to write down your username so I don't run into you there too.

"Fucking hell! Shut up, fudge-packer, get off this game, it's not meant for your kind."

Oh, so I'm a different species, then?

There was a string of curses, and the guy's character (a dwarf, funnily enough, because he didn't already come off as a thug) pulled out this large axe that was taller than him and swung at Merlin. His friends were rushing at him too, and he sat up in his seat a little "Shit shit shit" He muttered, trying to fend them off. He took out the weakest of the five of them first, using some of his more powerful spells.

"Merlin?" Gwen asked tiredly.

"Someone's trying to kill TheGreatPumpkin." He complained, watching his character's health obsessively, trying to dodge and at one point, he could only hold up a shield and wait for their stamina to run out so he could attack again. He really didn't want to die, and if he died, he would have to start it all over again and he was grumpy enough with how repetitive it was. Gwen had crawled off of the couch and hovered over his shoulder, watching carefully. Even if she didn't play, she had named the character and didn't want to see him die.

"Shit your health" She squeaked.

"I know" He groaned, but there wasn't much he could do about it because four against one was not a fair fight.

All at once there was another character, wearing the bright silver armour. The shit that took forever to save up for (which was why Merlin liked robes, he could enchant them himself instead of trying to get armour), and a long sword and a bright red cape.

The strange character, username PrinceofAvalon (what kind of name was that?), killed one of the characters that Merlin had been working at for a while now, who was close to death. Gwen cheered from beside him, healed him, and between the two of them they killed the last three.

Holy shit, thanks man, my healing spells couldn't keep up.

i saw that they were bugging you and i thought id join in and help. what was their problem?

Just some homophobes.

they shouldn't be allowed to play

Agreed.

Gwen was squealing in his ear, and he playfully shoved her. "He's your knight!" She exclaimed. "Your knight in shining armour! You should shower him in kisses!"

"It's not that kind of game"

"Then I demand you add him to your friend list!"

hey im adding you

And Merlin didn't grin like an idiot. Not at all.

Sounds good. Thanks again.

The knight decided to follow him on his quest, because he hadn't been doing anything and Merlin still wasn't sure what exactly he was looking for. Thankfully, this guy knew what Merlin was doing and teased him relentlessly. Gwen watched their chatter for a moment, before moving away to laze on the couch again.

so where are you from

Haven't you heard of question marks?

haha, funny.

Merlin grinned, it was getting late now, their food was gone and Gwen was rummaging through his kitchen absently, looking for more food because it was getting very late.

Well it's 10:15 PM for me

same

They kept talking, his heart was beginning to race as they kept talking, and at some point their characters were forgotten as they simply typed to each other. Merlin wished he could just plug in the microphone so he could talk, he was sick of typing. But Gwen was here and he didn't think he wanted this guy to hear Gwen's girlish giggles.

Suddenly, he heard a voice, and might have melted a little bit at the sound. His voice was smooth and warm, it sounded like chocolate mixed with honey and all kinds of good things. "My friend went home" He heard in his ear. "I'm sick of typing."

Gwen's still here. She's making me dinner because if she didn't I'd forget to eat.

"Girlfriend?"

Nope

"Sounds like a good friend, then. But, weird question, do you know where the Rising Sun bar is?"

Merlin paused, he definitely knew that bar, and had been there last night, and suddenly wondered if this guy was some creepy stalker (who was also a knight in shining armour) who was following him.

Maybe

"Well there's a coffee shop next to it, and uh." The guy was stammering, Merlin nearly held his breath. "I think we live in the same town. Would you want to go for coffee, maybe?"

Merlin definitely held his breath, mostly because he didn't want Gwen to hear any noises he might have made. Not that Merlin squeaked, or giggled, or made any other unmanly noises like that, but just in case. There was always a chance he could start. He watched the cursor blink for a long moment, and wondered if the guy was holding his breath too.

You're not an axe murderer, are you? I'm not going to get my head chopped off and put in the dumpster. I think Gwen would revive me and then kill me again for putting her through that.

The man chuckled, and it was a truly lovely sound. "Bring her if you want."

Oh god I couldn't, she'd embarrass me by telling you all about the stuffed animals on my bed, which she bought and left here because she pretty much lives here anyways. She'll tell you they're mine, but they're not, I don't own anything soft and fluffy.

The man laughed again, and Merlin thought he probably shouldn't have said that.

Yeah, I'll meet you. Are you free tomorrow?

He was shaking as the guy said yes.

At five? I'll be wearing a red scarf.

"I'll see you then."

Merlin quickly glanced around him, to see if Gwen was being sneaky and hovering over his shoulder or something. She was still, safely, in the kitchen. And by eleven after they had eaten, she declared that she was going to bed because Merlin was flirting with his knight and she didn't want to walk home.

He took a deep breath, and grabbed the headset and slid it over his head, plugging it in and activating it. "Hey" He said, finally, his voice was low. "She went to bed. I'll probably have to sleep on the couch because she likes to sprawl and growls at me if I try to get in."

The man was laughing again, and Merlin melted further into the bean bag chair at the sound. "No, I'm serious. Don't let her fool you, she's the sweetest thing ever, but if you try to move her when she's sleeping she'll growl."

Well, she wouldn't actually growl. More like she would whine and grudgingly roll over. But he loved the sound of this man's laugh. It was deep and soothing and Merlin kind of wanted to curl up in his throat and listen to it all day.

"What's your name? I mean, I should know how I'm meeting, just in case you end up actually being a serial killer and Gwen has to report me missing."

"If I was a serial killer, wouldn't I give you a fake name?"

"Er, I guess you're right. But you're my knight in shining armour, you couldn't lie to me, could you? That's breaking the knight's code or something, isn't it?"

"Will you believe me if I told you my name is Arthur?"

"Would you believe me if I said my name was Merlin?"

"No, I wouldn't. Who is named Merlin nowadays?"

"Me?"

"You're not serious."

"Are you actually Arthur?"

"Yes. Are you actually Merlin?"

"Yes."

Arthur's voice disappeared into breathless chuckles, laughing at the pure absurdity of the situation. "I think I'm going to have to see some ID, Merlin" He almost purred and Merlin was melting all over again.

"I could say the same to you, Arthur" This whole thing was strange, this guy, Arthur, had to be yanking his chain. Gwen was probably going to explode when she heard this fancy little bit of information. Sure, there were a couple Arthur's running around here and there, but he had never met them and he certainly hadn't fancied them. "I guess I understand your username then" He remarked.

"Where on earth did you get yours?"

"Gwen and I were carving pumpkins last year. She thought it was the most brilliant thing she had ever come up with."

"Look, it's getting late. I'd love to stay up and keep talking to you, but I work tomorrow and I need to get some sleep."

"You poor thing. I won't keep you."

It was well after midnight now, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'll see you then."

Merlin was nearly bouncing by the time Arthur signed off, hardly daring to believe that he actually had a date with him (unless it wasn't a date, in which case he was getting far too excited about it).

He pushed everything on his lap to the floor and wandered to his room, where Gwen was, for once, not sprawled across his bed. "You know, Merlin" She muttered sleepily. "We still could go on that talk show. You could tell them that the internet made you straight."

"I think the internet makes you gay, if anything" He said, sliding in beside her and patting her head.

"I'm stealing your dragon" She murmured, tucking herself closer to the plush dragon she had curled in her arms.

"No you're not, he's mine."

She grinned wickedly as she slept, "I heard that"

"Shit" He said, but curled himself into his blankets (she had taken the spare sheets this time, thankfully, because Gwen was kind of a heater and he liked being cold) and by the time he was comfortable, he was asleep.

He woke up in the morning to Gwen bustling around, gathering her things (but not all of them) and getting ready to go. She worked today, he didn't. Which was excellent, because he could sleep in. Or he could log back on and see if the mysterious Arthur was online. But he knew he wouldn't be, because he was at work, apparently. "Grab me my book" Merlin demanded lazily, and peered over at Gwen and offered a "please?" to make her happy.

She tossed the book at him, and he had fallen asleep again before she left.

Later, he sent her a message telling her that he had a date tonight with the knight named Arthur. He was very glad she wasn't there, because her string of all capitals and random button mashing would have hurt his ears. That's so adorable! You have to tell me everything! It had said after, and he just grinned because maybe he was a bit of a girl sometimes.

But he had a date. Which led to him wearing his slight-nicer-t han-usual-clothes with the red scarf he tied around his neck. It's how this guy would be able to find him, and when he logged onto the game he found a message in his inbox from Arthur with a phone number, sent early that morning. He quickly saved it under 'knight in shining armour' in his phone, and took a deep breath to steady himself before sliding on his shoes and running a hand through his hair one last time.

Satisfied, Merlin left his house to find the coffee shop. He wound up walking down the wrong street, and was a good ten minutes late, and as he neared it, he began to panic. What if he though that he was trying to stand him up? Quickly, he tapped out a message on his phone, telling him he was about a minute away from being there and that he was sorry. He would have added more, but he really didn't want to ramble because that didn't look very good as a first impression. Then again, having his in-game character saved by him, and being late, didn't really look good anyways. He just hoped that he would be forgiven and that he wasn't too scrawny, and hoped that this guy wasn't an old man looking to hook up with someone much younger than him. His voice hadn't sounded too old, had it?

As he entered, he scanned the faces to see if he could pinpoint this man before someone walked up to him. There were a number of people there, so he skipped over the women because Arthur was not a female. There were two gangster looking kids sitting with a younger girl, who was probably a sister of one of them. There was a creepy looking older guy sitting in the back, someone who looked about his age who was sitting alone, and Merlin thought it might be him, until he saw a man maybe a few years older than him, wearing dress pants and a dress shirt and looking rather fancy walking over to him.

"Merlin?" The guy said evenly, and that voice in person, in the middle of the shop, nearly made his knees buckle.

"Arthur?"

The guy grinned, and Merlin was pretty much done then and there. Golden blonde hair and wide shoulders and bright blue eyes and crooked teeth – he was stunning and Merlin felt like a bit of a troll in comparison. "What are you having?"

For a moment, Merlin thought about saying 'you' and seeing where that took him, instead, he grinned a little bit like an idiot and told him he'd take anything, he didn't really care. The two of them walked up to the counter, and Merlin chose something at random because he was a bit distracted by those pretty eyes. Arthur paid, to Merlin's spluttering ("I invited you, it's only fair that I pay. You can get it next time" and Merlin swooned because he damn well hoped there would be a next time) and led him to his table, where his half full drink had been left.

Talking to Arthur was easy, and irritating, because no matter what Merlin said Arthur was able to counter it with his quick words and sharp wit. Merlin adapted quickly, and soon enough he was meeting every jibe with one of his own and it was a bit like being tossed out of a plane.

They wasted two hours together, and every so often one of them would go up for a refill and then come back and resume their conversation. And finally Arthur declared that he was taking Merlin out for dinner, and he couldn't say no. Arthur had the kind of air around him that said 'no, you're not going to deny me because I get everything I want every time'.

They went for Greek food, Arthur ordered a bottle of fancy wine and and they drank it over their wriggly calamari bits, chatting and arguing and just talking. He felt the press of Arthur's ankle against his, and his face heated (but it was already feeling warm due to the wine, which he never drank). They ordered another bottle and drank it over dessert, and apparently they were at the point where they shared everything because Arthur took a spoonful of his and Merlin stabbed his fork into Arthur's plate.

If he wasn't already smitten with this guy, he was now. They progressed to hand holding over the top of the table, which sent his stomach churning and made him nervous and excited and worried. They squabbled over who was going to pay for a few minutes, before Merlin finally relented "Fine, your highness, you can pay. If you insist." His smile was warm and when they left the restaurant, hand in hand, Merlin was pretty much walking on air.

They finally parted ways at Arthur's car ("No, Merlin. I'm not going to drive, I'm grabbing my coat"), and Merlin wished he could just follow him home but he worked early the next day, and Arthur did too.

They stood in front of each other for a while, then Arthur grasped Merlin's arm and pulled him close, flattening their mouths together. He nearly purred, grasping at the crisp shirt over Arthur's chest. "Call me soon" He said, his voice thick, their bodies far too close to be anywhere decent in the dark night they stood in.

"I will" Merlin murmured, and stole another kiss before almost stumbling backwards. He started walking away, and when he looked back, Arthur was closing the car door, locking it, and striding in the opposite direction.

He called Gwen when he was close to his place, and he could practically hear her bouncing wherever she was sitting. "That's a beautiful story" She said dreamily. "You can tell your kids that you met while he was saving your life from a bunch of thugs!"

"Gwen, men can't make babies." He said patiently, as though he were speaking to a small child. His grin was splitting his face in half, still mesmerised by the lingering touch of Arthur's mouth.

"Well you can adopt" She said cheerfully.

"We went on one date, you know, I think that's a bit early."

"He can get in on our marriage! He's your mistress, and -" She kept babbling, and Merlin only grinned into his phone. By the time he got home, Gwen had exhausted all the possibilities and he was telling her that he needed to sleep.

A few months later, Arthur and Merlin were both sitting sprawled on Arthur's couch, effectively taking up the whole thing. Gwen and Morgana were whispering girlishly together, giggling about something they obviously found quite entertaining. Gwen had taken to Arthur's sister very fast. It was almost scary. But, at least, she stopped asking his opinion on clothes and other such nonsense. Merlin didn't have much dress sense, something Arthur was all too happy to point out to him. He was a rubbish gay man, but Arthur had his fingers in Merlin's hair, so he supposed he was doing something right.