"This is it," thought Miles Denna, "it all ends today." Miles was on trial for a robbery he didn't commit. The only problem was convincing the judge. The bailiff suddenly shouted, "ALL RISE MOTHERFUCKERS!" As Miles stood up, he threw a grin at the prosecutor. "The Honorable JUDGE RAD KICKASS is presiding." As the doors opened for Rad Kickass, "Welcome to the Jungle" started playing on the surround sound speakers Rad had had installed. He did a triple back-flip into his seat and several female members of the onlookers had fainted. Judge Kickass looked at the papers for a moment before burning them through sheer force of will. "Miles Denna is now on trial for murder. The prosecution DNA evidence that seems to prove his guilt." Miles let out a gasp, then sat back down. "My life is over," he thought, "I can't escape the inexorable grip of prison now." Then, he had an idea so crazy, the only place it would work is in this court. "Well," said Miles, "here goes nothing." He unslung the electric guitar from his back and played "Through the Fire and the Flames" perfectly with an accompaniment of ghosts of rock legends past. "Holy shit," exclaimed Rad Kickass, "Can the prosecution refute such hard evidence?" The lead lawyer for the prosecution threw back his head and let loose a laugh. Then, he and his entourage went into a perfect rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. "That was crazy," Judge Kickass said, "somebody got that on video right?" After the crowd settled, Rad Kickass said, "Miles Denna, you are right honorably screwed. Any last words?" "As a matter of fact," Miles Said, "yes I do." He cast off his cloak and took out a second guitar. Then he played. He summoned both the Stairway to Heaven and the Highway to Hell. A mighty battle took place right there, between the Angels of Awesome and the Demons of Destruction. The prosecution exploded and every person in the crowd became pregnant with children of Awesome. A single tear fell from Judge Rad Kickass. "Miles Denna is hereby not guilty" he said as he ascended the Stairway to Heaven.
