A/n- Hi everyone. I realized this story was underdeveloped so I've gone back and begun rewriting some of the major missing sections to this story. I will update as long as my readers ( you) want to keep reading this brand/updated version of FLOJ.
Summary:
Prologue
Timeline: Relona Month 9- Day 4: 2 ABY
Location: Lake Retreat, Naboo
(Padme's POV)
My eyes take in the splendor of the cool waters surrounding the retreat. I breathe in the fresh cool air and the smells as well: pine and crisp scents of lavender from the lavender trees. My palms press into the cold stone of the balcony. Too many memories were left on this stone- this is where I watched my best friend marry his wife- and where he would bury her….
My eyes close as I remember my dear friend and the former Senator of Naboo. She was youthful and had much courage in her. Her facial features were similar to my own- heart-shaped with the same dark chestnut hair and coffee colored eyes. Her laughter and the way she remained loyal to her husband through thick and thin- even during the times of trial- the times of the Empire.
My eyes flicker open. That was more than twenty-years ago. I cannot dwell on the past now. She died by my hand.
I murdered a woman that was like my sister.
I murdered my best friend's wife.
I cannot forgive myself for my actions, even if they were in self-defense.
"It wasn't your fault," echoes his voice in my ears.
My eyes stay focused on the lake in front of me and I whisper, "She's dead because of me. I am no better than-"
"Me?" He whispers, as his footsteps draw nearer.
His right hand reaches out for my chin and he lifts my eyes to meet his. His blue eyes stare into mine and just for a moment I can forget the longing and the past actions he has done to this world. Vader no longer exists, but Anakin had much mending to do. His eyes hold his grief over his dead wife, and I can feel through the force that he blames himself.
My own hand reaches out and touches his cheek. "Vader is dead. He died on the Death Star. You are Anakin Skywalker, and the last of the Jedi Order. Anakin did not kill his wife- Vader destroyed her."
He touches my wrist lightly and utters, "They are one in the same. I regret what I have done to her, so do not blame yourself for her death. You freed her- I killed her over many years of pain. She became twisted because of me."
His eyes are watering up, and make his blue eyes more like the color of Naboo's sky. I embrace him into a hug and choke out my own sob as we comfort each other for our loss. He stifles his sobs and holds onto me tightly, and then whispers against my ear, "I wish I could change what has been done. She is free now, and so are you."
I back away from him and stare into his eyes. His eyes expression the freedom he wants for me. We have been bonded for many years- through our friendship- our children and the force. How can I be free of someone who is in my very soul?
I shake my head and back away further from him. I turn my eyes back towards the water, remembering the years since past. When did we first bond like this? When did he touch my very soul? Did it begin the moment we met many years ago?
My eyes close and my mind drifts back to the moment I met him- my best friend and soul mate….
Timeline: Relona Day: 4 32 BBY
Location: Jedi Temple
Planet: Coruscant
I was seven years of age, just a youngling at the time of his arrival. There had been talk for days of the coming of the so-called "Chosen One". There had been talk of a boy who was a former slave. The other younglings laughed at the boy. The boy beat the living Sith out of the children who called him a slave. Apparently this so-called "Chosen One" could take care of himself.
My small foot-steps echoed in the Dining Hall as I looked around for a seat. I was never afraid of anything or anyone. My small eyes had found him sitting in a corner, by himself against the rear window. His eyes stared into his oatmeal as if there was nothing else but him and the spiteful looking puke. He was a loner most of the older padawan's suggested. I thought he was just lucky to have a master. My own powers were not too strong, and there had been talk of sending me to the Agricorps sooner than expected. The thought horrified me. I wanted to be a Jedi just like my father.
My thoughts never went far on him. I didn't even know who he was. He had been a Jedi and broken the Code. That is why I was brought to the temple at the age of four. I had watched the Jedi drag away my screaming mother as they took me. I knew I had a better life ahead of me- but not to be shipped off in a matter of years!
My thoughts drifted back to the boy sitting alone. His blue eyes stare into his oatmeal and something overcame me- feelings of helplessness, and sadness. He missed his own mother. I gasp at this thought. I had never before been able to lock onto someone else's feelings through the force.
Pain
Cold
Death
I gasped in fright as his azure eyes landed on mine. My hands lost control of my plate of food and it went smashing to the floor. The young boy stood up and came over to me. I crouched down and managed to clean up portions of the broken glass. His little fingers helpled as well; cleaning up the smashed eggs.
I stammer out, "I'm so-rry."
He halts cleaning up the mess and his blue eyes find my brown ones. I feel chilled as I see his smile.
He shrugs and says, "What's your name?"
"Pad-me' Naberrie," I managed to squeak out.
His smile grew wider and he says, "I'm Anakin Skywalker. Do you want to sit with me? I'm kinda new here and don't know anybody."
My fears washed away from me at his sweetness. He hadn't cared about the fact I had accidently read his thoughts through the force! The other younglings would have pushed me away or worse shoved me down the trash shute…..
" Let's get you some new breakfast, Miss Padme'." Anakin suggests as he takes my hand and leads me back to the breakfast line.
Present
Location: Naboo
"Do you want to be free of me Padme'?" His voice echoes through my memories and my eyes open quickly.
I whirl at the sound of his voice, and meet his concerned gaze. He wants me to tell him after all these years to fuck off? Is that what he wants? I stare up at the man that little boy had become. Anakin Skywalker has seen many things- destruction and light. He has led a not so easily calling- and I have been by his side most of the time.
I search his eyes for the answer. I'm not so sure I can answer his question. In fact I'm not sure if I have an answer for him. The only thing I'm sure of is what started our journey all those years ago: those eyes of his. His eyes looked into mine and have always drawn me in. I have looked into those eyes many times before:
As his best friend
As his lover
As his enemy
As the mother of his children.
Our journey began when I gazed into his eyes, and I haven't looked back since. That is what started us on our paths and the lives we have lived. And yet after all these years I can still gaze into them and feel the same way. The true question I should ask myself is this: Do I want to be free of him?
To Be Continued…..
