Chapter 1

Sebastian Vael, former Prince of Starkhaven, drew rein at the top of the rise. Spread out below was a pretty little clearing with a small hut nestled amongst the trees. The gentle babble of the stream that flowed beside it, the twitter of birds, and the soft summer breeze all gave the place a very peaceful air. It almost made him regret his reason for being here. Almost.

It had been over a year since the Chantry of Kirkwall had been destroyed, killing the Grand Cleric and all the other innocent people inside. He had loved Elthina, she'd been like a mother to him, and that damned abomination had killed her and ignited a war. Worst of all had been Hawke's refusal to kill Anders for what he'd done. He'd considered the warrior a friend, had confided in him, and had been angered by the man's betrayal. He'd stormed off, threatening to return with an army and raze Kirkwall to the ground for that offense. He'd returned to Starkhaven, determined to carry out his threat.

Reality had come crashing in shortly after his ship docked in the harbor. He had gone to the palace expecting to be welcomed with open arms, but that hadn't happened. The nobles had become fond of his cousin Goran's rule. Goran had always been a bit of an idiot, but that just made it easier for the nobles to rule through him. Some were still loyal to his family, but the majority were less than pleased by his return. Those who were against his reclaiming the throne significantly outnumbered those who were loyal to him. The odds of him winning a war for the throne were slim, so he chose the wiser course and retreated. Gathering a small number of loyal guard, he'd left the city quietly at night.

With no throne to reclaim and no army to back him, he wasn't able to storm the city of Kirkwall to find Anders and dispense the justice he'd been denied. He sent spies to determine where the abomination might be hiding, only to find that he'd left with Hawke and the others. There were so many stories going about that it was impossible to discern the truth of what had happened after the destruction of the Chantry. So he was forced to wait yet again to exact his revenge.

It took several months, and more gold than he cared to think about, but he'd finally found out where Hawke and Anders had fled to. They were in Amaranthine, at Vigil's Keep, the Grey Warden base in Ferelden. He'd sailed there immediately and arrived just at the start of summer, only to find that the two he sought were long gone. So he'd been forced to spend more gold and more time searching.

Finally, he'd located them. They'd gone to ground near the Brecilian Forest, a place that Merrill was familiar with. At long last he would be able to carry out his promise and see justice done. A voice snapped him out of his reverie.

"Your Highness, someone approaches," Ser Reginald told him, pointing to a figure coming towards them up the hill.

Sebastian turned to look and soon recognized the figure: it was Fenris, the former elven slave from Tevinter, and one of Hawke's most devoted companions. He was in the right place. He waited until the elf was close enough to hear before calling out, "Where is he Fenris?"

Fenris said nothing until he was standing a few feet from the prince. "So, you've finally managed to find us," his voice showing no surprise at the prince's presence.

"You expected me?" Sebastian's brows went up in surprise.

A small smile curved the elf's lips, "Of course. We knew you were looking and wanted to make it easy for you."

"So both Hawke and Anders are waiting for me," the prince frowned. He suddenly wondered if perhaps he should have hired more men.

Fenris looked down at the ground, a frown marring his face. "Apparently, you don't know. I would have thought the Warden Commander would have told you."

"Told me what?"

He looked up at the prince and then motioned to him to dismount, "Follow me and I'll tell you about it."

Sebastian dismounted and then motioned his guards to stay put. He could see Reginald about to protest and held up a hand, "If they meant to attack me they would have done it. Hawke may have been a fool, but he's always acted with honor."

As soon as the prince fell into step with him, Fenris began to fill him in on the details of those last hours in Kirkwall. "Once we had succesfully stopped the Templars from destroying the Circle, we were confronted by Meredith. Hawke expected to be arrested by them, but he didn't care. He'd done what he'd set out to do: save the lives of the innocents in the Circle."

"I never expected you to side with mages," Sebastian stated flatly.

"I sided with Hawke," the elf retorted. "But, when I saw children as young as five cowering in fear and crying, I began to understand better his motivation. The Right of Annulment would have condemned them to death for no reason other than the circumstances of their birth. He couldn't allow that to happen, and neither could I."

"The Right of Annulment does allow for mitigating circumstances," the prince argued. "It does not say that every living soul must be killed. Meredith would not dare raise the ire of the Divine by killing children."

"She would have," Fenris stated flatly. "She wasn't in her right mind anymore. Instead of having Hawke arrested, she ordered her men to kill him. When Cullen refused and ordered her to stand down, she accused him and all the other templars of having succumbed to blood magic."

"That's crazy!"

"Exactly so," Fenris nodded. "It was then that we found out who Bartrand had sold the idol to. You know, the one found in the Deep Roads."

"If I remember right, it drove the dwarf insane," Sebastian frowned. "You say she had this idol?"

"She'd had a sword made out of it."

"So what happened then?" Sebastian asked eagerly. None of this had been talked about in Kirkwall.

"Cullen defied her and stood with us," Fenris smirked a little at the memory of that. "To say Meredith was pissed is an understatement. But, the battle was hard fought. It was in that last fight that I was suddenly glad that Anders was alive."

"How dare you defend his existence?" Sebastian came to a stop, glaring at the elf. "He killed Elthina, a kind and good soul, and who knows how many other innocents. He deserves death."

Fenris stood waiting calmly and patiently until the prince had finished. "I would have died, as would Cullen and Hawke, if not for Anders powers to heal and resurrect people. If not for him, Meredith may have won and all we had fought for would have been for nothing."

Sebastian frowned, "Meaning she would have pushed forward with the Right."

"Yes." When he was sure that the prince was done interrupting, he continued. "We won the fight and Cullen didn't try to stop us when we turned to leave. We didn't waste time getting out either. Aveline and Donnic got a few guards and helped us get to Isabella's ship. We set course for Amaranthine because we'd heard that Hawke's sister Bethany was here. She joined the Wardens, remember?"

"Yes, during the Deep Roads expedition." Sebastian looked sharply at the elf. "While all this is interesting, it still doesn't change my mind. Anders deserves to die for what he did. He can't place all the blame on that spirit that possesses him."

"No, nor did he try to," Fenris shook his head. "In fact, he begged Hawke to kill him. He said it was the only way to make sure that he never lost control like that again. Hawke refused, even though he knew that Anders was losing control more and more every day."

"I always suspected that Hawke was too infatuated with his rebel mage to do the right thing," Sebastian snapped.

"You know nothing Prince!" Fenris hissed, finally losing control of his anger. "He loved Anders and wasn't going to just throw that away without trying everything in his power to save him. Hawke was never one to just cast people aside because he didn't like or agree with the choices they made. Too bad you weren't as loyal," he finished scathingly.

Sebastian scowled and folded his arms, "I will not stand here and be judged by you."

"Hit a nerve did I?"

Sebastian took a deep breath to calm himself. "So, you came here seeking a cure?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes," Fenris nodded and then continued walking. "Hawke wanted to see if there was some way to seperate Anders and Justice. So he sought the advice of a very old and wise mage named Wynne."

"She was with the Hero of Ferelden, and is also an adivsor at King Alistair's court."

"Now she is the First Enchanter of the Ferelden Circle," the elf continued. "She told us some things that we'd never even considered."

"Like what?" Sebastian couldn't hide the curiosity in his voice.

"Like the possibility that upon Anders death it would be Vengeance and not Justice that rose up. That it was possible for the spirit to escape and inhabit some other body or person." Fenris sighed and came to a stop. "If Hawke had killed Anders when you asked, then the spirit in him would have been freed and might have caused even more havoc than it already had."

Sebastian came to a sudden stop, "Wait. You said if he had killed Anders. Are you saying-"

"That Anders is dead? Yes."

Sebastian felt his jaw drop. A rush of emotions flooded him: disappointment, happiness, anger, frustration. "You wouldn't lie about this just to spite me, would you."

"I wish I were lying," Fenris replied heavily as he continued walking towards the hut. Instead of going to the building, he skirted around it towards the end of the treeline, coming to a stop at the edge of the stream. "Look," he pointed.

Sebastian turned towards the place indicated and drew a sharp breath. There was a mound of earth and a headstone. Going up to it he stopped and read: "Anders, Beloved" with the date of birth and death.

"You are a month too late prince," Fenris said quietly.

"How?" he turned to face the elf.

"At Hawke's hand," Fenris sighed. "I was there, as was Merrill, Wynne and Bethany. It fell to myself, Bethany and Merrill to fight the spirit when it left Anders body. Wynne is a Spirit Healer and was going to try to bring Anders back. It was a slim chance, but Hawke and Anders both agreed that it was the only thing they could do."

"Apparently things didn't go the way you all hoped they would," Sebastian said quietly as he stared at the grave.

"No, the spirit was reluctant to leave Anders and fought against it. Wynne used her connection to the good spirits in the fade to force him to leave, but it left her too weak to bring Anders back. And it was in fact Vengeance that rose up, a twisted and ugly thing that raged at us and called us traitors to the cause." Fenris turned to look down at the grave as well.

Sebastian looked up from the grave and towards the hut, figuring that Hawke was inside since he hadn't seen him yet. As he did so, he saw a young woman step out and head towards them. He realized that it was Bethany. He kept his eyes on her as he listened to the rest of the story.

"Hawke was devestated," Fenris said quietly. "After we destroyed the spirit, we stood and watched as he wept over Anders' body. Finally, we managed to get him to let go so we could tend to it. We brought Anders here, so he could be buried in a place safe from any who might desecrate the grave out of spite."

"How did you come to this place?"

"Merrill knew of it," Bethany broke in. "It had been built by some hermit that had once lived here. It had been abandoned long before their clan had camped in these parts and she sometimes used it to escape her lessons for a while."

"It's good to see you again Bethany, you're looking well," Sebastian sketched a bow to her. He saw her regarding him coldy, arms folded across her chest.

"Since the man you've been chasing is dead, I expect that you'll be heading back to Starkhaven now," she retorted flatly.

"Actually, I don't know what to do now," he sighed.

"My brother has suffered enough," she snapped. "I won't let you hurt him further. So, if that was your intention, I should remind you that both Merrill and I are extremely powerful mages and will have no problem destroying you and your little troop up there."

"I never intended to hurt your brother," Sebastian protested.

"You expect us to believe that?" Fenris argued.

"Even though I felt betrayed by Hawke, I never intended to harm him, not for a crime that wasn't his," the prince shook his head.

"Then what did you mean?" Bethany was truly puzzled.

"Things didn't go as planned in Starkhaven," he answered reluctantly. "But, that is too long a story to get into at this time. Suffice it to say that I have no idea of what I'm going to do now or where I'm going to go."

"There are many places you can go, Denerim, Orzammar, Amaranthine, even Orlais," Fenris told him. "Personally, I don't care where you go. My only concern is protecting Hawke."

"Denerim sounds like a good place, you can go pal around with fellow royalty," Bethany said flatly.

Sebastian looked back and forth between the two of them. He'd never known Hawke's sister, nor she him, but he'd considered Fenris a close friend. Both of them were looking at him like he was some stranger come to disrupt their little world. It left him feeling uncomfortable and alone. He hadn't even seen hide nor hair of Hawke, and wondered if the man was even here, or if this was all a show put on to fool him. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he glanced suspiciously at the grave again. They could be lying for Hawke's benefit. He decided to test the theory.

"Before I go, I would like to speak with Hawke," he said softly.

"I don't think that's a good idea, you'd only remind him of what he lost," Bethany shook her head.

"I suppose, but his presence may be enough to snap Hawke out of his depression, or whatever it is he is wallowing in," Fenris argued.

"Fine, but I'll be watching closely," Bethany said darkly.

Fenris motioned to the prince to follow him. He paused outside the door, "I want to warn you, Hawke isn't the same man you once knew. He'd been struggling for some time and we think that Anders death at his hand may have been the last straw that broke him. He is a shell of his former self and it may shock you."

"It's important that you act as normal as possible around him, understood?" Bethany held his gaze until he nodded. "Then go inside and see for yourself."

Sebastian took a deep breath and opened the door. The first thing he saw was Ripper, Hawke's mabari. The dog leapt to his feet with a happy bark, bounding over to greet him, his stubby tale wagging. He felt a smile curve his lips. At least someone was glad to see him. "How are you boy?" he patted the dog on the head.

"Oh, hello Sebastian," Merrill greeted him brightly. "Still have your shiny armor I see."

"Merrill, you're looking well," he nodded politely.

"I'm just getting ready to start supper," the little Dalish told him as she put a pot on the fire. "Are you going to be eating with us? Only, I don't know if we have enough to feed you and your men."

Sebastian was no longer listening to her, his attention having been caught by a figure sitting at the table and staring out the window. It was Hawke, but not as he remembered him. The once neatly braided black locks now hung limp, their ends ragged and in desperate need of a trim. The man had always been clean shaven, but now had a scraggly beard all around his jaw. His face was thin and pale, and his body seemed to have shrunk in size. Clearly, Hawke had lost a great deal of weight.

He came to a stop within a foot of the table, "Hello Hawke."

Liam Hawke looked up at the sound of a voice he hadn't heard in over a year. He stared into the blue eyes of a man he'd once called friend. "What do you want?" he asked, his voice flat. "Come to gloat?"

Sebastian barely held back his gasp of dismay. The grey eyes that had once sparkled with humor were now red rimmed and completely devoid of any emotion. There was no life there at all. "No. I-I'm sorry-"

"Save your empty platitudes," Hawke intoned. "Anders is dead, which is what you wanted," he dropped his gaze to the garment in his lap.

Sebastian looked down and saw that it was the robe with the feathers that Anders had worn those last weeks in Kirkwall. He found himself at a loss as to what to say. Feeling a hand on his arm, he looked to see Merrill motioning him to step back. He followed her over to the fire.

"You seem surprised," she said softly.

"How long has he been like this?" he looked back at his one-time friend.

"Since the day Anders died," the girl sighed. "He hardly eats, he doesn't sleep well, and he has mood swings, sometimes violent ones, although it's been a couple weeks since the last one."

"He looks like-" Sebastian hesitated, not wanting to say what he was thinking aloud.

"Like he's waiting to die?" Merrill finished it for him. "Well, you might be right about that."

"Has he truly given up on life?" the prince felt his stomach clench at the thought.

"Maybe." Merrill looked back towards the table. "I don't think he loved anyone as much as he loved Anders, except maybe Ripper."

"He still has you, his sister, Fenris," Sebastian protested.

Merrill looked around and then dropped her voice to a near whisper. "He has a journal that he kept while in Kirkwall. I got a glimpse of it once and read something that I think may explain this. I told the others about it, and I probably shouldn't tell you, seeing as how they don't trust you and Hawke hates you, but-"

"Then don't tell me," he said firmly.

"No, no, you may be able to help him, if you knew," Merrill said earnestly. "We've certainly had no luck reaching out to him. If something doesn't change soon, then-" she paused and shook her head.

"Listen, I was angry when I left Kirkwall," he told her. "But in the months that followed, my anger cooled somewhat, at least towards Hawke. Now that I've seen him, I think he's suffered enough. If I can help in any way, I will."

"He wrote about an incident with Anders, a conversation he'd had," she whispered. "He had actually managed to convince Anders that there was still a chance to resolve things peacefully. But Justice suddenly popped up and told him off. He argued with the spirit for a few minutes before Anders managed to regain control. Anders had no memory of what happened, and mentioned that he was experiencing more and more blackouts. This was a few weeks before, well, you know."

Sebastian turned to stare thoughtfully at Hawke. "So he knew that Anders was losing it."

"Yes," she nodded. "I think he feels he could have stopped it, or at least done more to turn Anders from the path he was on. He's always been that way, always trying to save us from ourselves. I think he feels that he failed Anders, failed us, failed everyone."

"And for someone who never failed at anything-" Sebastian shook his head. He was beginning to get the picture and it wasn't a pretty one."

"Also, I know how much it hurts to have to kill someone you love, especially if it was your mistake that led to it," Merrill said sadly. "My foolishness and my pride led me down a path that ended with Keeper Marethari's death. A woman who'd been like a mother to me died at my hands. That's a horror I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemy, let alone a friend. It took me over a month to stop crying every time I turned around, and I still have nightmares about it. I imagine that Hawke's experiencing something similar right now. If I didn't have Hawke and Varric and Isabella looking out for me, I probably would have ended my life."

The door opened, interrupting their talk. Bethany and Fenris both entered and stood just inside looking between Hawke and the prince. Bethany went over to her brother and sat next to him. Fenris motioned to Sebastian and Merrill to follow him out. As he left, Sebastian heard Bethany telling her brother about a story she'd heard from Oghren about one of their Deep Roads excursions.

Once outside, Fenris turned on Merrill angrily, "Why did you tell him all that about Hawke and Anders?"

"Because, he was Hawke's friend once and we need all the help we can get," Merrill retorted fiercely.

"Any more of his help and Hawke may just kill himself," he snarled in return.

Sebastian just gaped at him for a long moment. He'd never expected to hear such words directed at him. "I've done nothing to Hawke to warrant such accusations!"

"No? You told Hawke to his face that you would bring an army to hunt him and Anders down," Fenris growled. "On the journey here, Anders tried to kill himself. Hawke managed to stop him, barely. When he asked why, Anders told him that it would save Hawke from you. Whether you intended to actually harm Hawke or not makes no difference. You are still partly to blame for the state he's in now."

"Fenris, that's exactly why he might be able to help," Merrill urged. She turned to the prince, "If you truly meant no threat to Hawke, then maybe you can help him see that he did everything he could. That he hasn't failed. You two were so close once, almost like brothers. If he sees that you don't hate him, then maybe, just maybe he can come back to us."

"I doubt it will be as easy as that Merrill," Sebastian shook his head.

"So you won't even try?" the dalish cried.

"No, no, I will try, just don't get your hopes up," he answered. "It may take some time though."

"If you stay, it will be without your men," Fenris told him firmly. "Not only will their presence upset Hawke, but there's not nearly enough room here for them."

"I will send them to Denerim," Sebastian said firmly. "I can also have Reginald buy provisions and bring them back here."

"Where will you sleep, Your Highness?" Fenris asked, a mocking smile on his face.

"I still know how to rough it," Sebastian retorted. "And right now, without a kingdom, I'm no prince."

"So we can just call you Sebastian?" Merrill laughed.

"Or Choir Boy," Fenris smirked.

"I see that I'll have a hard time living down Varric's nickname for me," Sebastian shook his head ruefully. "My men and I have tents, I'll set mine up outside near the stream. That way, I won't be underfoot too much."

"I suppose that'll be fine," Fenris nodded.

"Good, let me go inform my men of what I intend."

Fenris watched him go and then turned to Merrill, "Let's hope we don't all regret this."

"It'll all work out for the best Fenris, you'll see," Merrill told him before returning to the hut to finish making dinner.