"Understanding"
Summary: After Loki's defeat, Thor yearns to see his brother return to his old self. Loki, however, knows the futility of this goal and convinces Thor to let him perform one last spell to allow Thor the understanding that he seeks.
Chapter One
Loki sat on the floor in his cell in Asgard, staring at the blank wall before him with no emotion. It had been little more than a day since he and Thor had returned to the eternal realm of the gods, and he had been placed in the cell only moments after arriving. Not a word had been spoken to him by anyone, even Thor. The shackles binding his hands together had been replaced with smaller silver bracelets that prevented his magic from being accessed. With irritation, he noted that they had not deigned to remove the muzzle from his face.
If it weren't for the fact that there was no comfortable way to rest in the cell, Loki would have fallen asleep long ago. The lack of entertainment alone was boring enough for him. He perked up for a moment as he realized that the silence was about to be broken.
Footsteps so loud and heavy could only belong to one person, and they were echoing closer and closer to his cell.
The steps came to a stop just outside Loki's cell. "I wish to speak with my brother. Please open the door."
Loki would have groaned loudly if the muzzle had allowed for it.
The guards outside apparently saw no reason to disallow Loki his visitor. 'Even though Odin clearly stated that I was to receive no visitors until my sentence had been determined,' Loki thought drily. The door to the cell opened and suddenly the small room was filled with the presence of his once-brother.
Thor gazed at Loki for a few moments and Loki returned his stare with as little emotion as he could. If Thor was waiting for Loki to speak, then the Thunderer would be in for a long wait. Just when Loki started to wonder if the great idiot had forgotten the purpose of his visit, Thor pointed his hammer at Loki and began to speak.
"It is not too late, Loki. I truly mean this. I understand that you believe there is no coming back from what you have done, but... Brother, you need only ask and we will help you."
Loki arched an eyebrow at Thor and was almost thankful that his voice was currently out of his reach. If Thor honestly believed the story he was telling than there would most likely be no way of convincing the fool of his naivety.
"It does amaze me, Brother, how you so easily assume that just because you are not of our blood, that we will turn our backs on you. How can you throw away all that we lived through together? Why would you not instead confide in us, your family, what which bothers you?"
Loki's eyes narrowed, pointed in Thor's direction. 'The idiot actually thinks that all of my actions derive solely from the discovery of my true parentage?' Loki thought incredulously. The hard look deepened. The fool had taken to pacing in the small room, which frustrated Loki because he would be unable to see the glare pointed his way.
"I cannot think of a time when I would have been unwilling to hear you out, Brother, if you needed it. My friends on Midgard would describe you as insane, but I cannot see how one of your intellect could fall to such actions and behavior without ample reason."
Thor paused in his pacing and eyed Loki thoughtfully. He stepped closer and lowered Mjolnir to the floor near Loki's feet. Loki didn't bother to even look up to meet his bro... Thor's curious gaze.
"I understand that you would feel stress upon discovering your true parentage, unimportant as it was, since you will always be of our family," Thor stated, as if he could understand just what it felt like to have his reality wrenched out from under him. Loki glared at Thor's shoes with distaste, wishing that the guards had, for once, followed the orders to restrict all of his visitors, regardless of how boring it had been.
Thor hadn't finished with his speech, however, so Loki resigned himself to enduring more of the blundering idiot's words of wisdom.
"But even that stress does not seem to me to be great enough for you to want to kill me. It makes even less sense, Brother, for you to attempt to rule Midgard," Thor crouched down before Loki so that there was little choice for Loki to meet the Thunderer's gaze. Thor's softly spoken words nearly caused Loki to flinch, more so than his incredibly loud voice ever had. At the moment, Loki didn't want to dwell on the reason why those words affected him so.
"I truly do wish to understand you, Brother..." Thor stated, once again drawing Loki's attention back to him.
Loki thought on the comment for naught but a second before throwing an exasperated look at Thor and motioning to the muzzle that had him silenced. Thor seemed to ponder this for a moment before asking, "If I remove the muzzle, Brother, will you help me to understand?"
With a tired nod, Loki raised his hands in deference to Thor's question. He honestly had no reason not to answer Thor's question. Besides, the fool would most likely not leave until had received what he had come for – an explanation that would suffice for Thor as to why Loki had changed so much. Loki sighed mentally. It truly was a lost cause.
"Very well, Brother," Thor said as he leaned forward to unlatch the muzzle. Seconds before he could do so, a call came from outside the cell. Apparently, the guards thought that the removal of the muzzle would be breaking an order that they actually cared for.
"Peace, friends," Thor said as the guards opened the cell door and stood inside. Thor stood and smiled disarmingly at them. "I assure you that my brother holds no ill intentions to you, nor will he attempt to escape." At this, both Thor and the guards glanced at Loki, who still sat upon the floor of the cell. Loki nodded once again, working hard to restrain himself from rolling his eyes.
Reluctantly, the guards assented to Thor's words and backed out of the cell, once again leaving Loki alone with Thor. Kneeling again, Thor reached forward and unclasped the muzzle from around Loki's face.
Loki rubbed a hand over his face, thankful that he can finally move his jaw. "So," Loki whispered harshly, turning an icy gaze towards Thor. "The Mighty Thor wishes to know what led the evil Loki down such a dark path." Loki chuckled bitterly even as Thor shook his head lightly.
"You are not evil, Brother."
"Am I not? Did I not just convince you? Or perhaps you were merely unimpressed. Or perhaps I should ask why you feel I need to be redeemed if I am not as evil as you all think?"
"You are twisting my words yet again, Brother," Thor commented with a low voice, moving to sit with his back along the wall next to Loki.
"Indeed I am, Thor. How perceptive of you to notice."
Thor growled, not in the mood to be dealing with Loki's witty comments and silver tongue.
"Brother..."
"Brother," Loki mocked, turning to sneer at the idiot. Only the idiot was no longer sitting next to him. Thor had jumped to his feet and grabbed a fistful of Loki's shirt, pulling him to his feet and pushing him against the wall. Loki grunted at the impact but held his tongue.
Without loosening his hold, Thor spoke evenly, "I wish to know what it was that corrupted you, Brother. I only wish for you to come home, you... the Loki I grew up with, before-"
At that point Loki opened his mouth to voice how idiotic Thor's ideas were, but Thor slammed him back into the wall once again. Loki was fairly certain that the wall had several new cracks running along it at this point.
Thor continued on in a hard tone as if nothing had happened. "Before it is too late for me to find you."
Finally, Thor loosened his grip slightly and Loki relaxed against the wall. "And if nothing corrupted me, if no being or object acted to affect me in such a way other than myself, what then, Thor?" Loki hissed. "If you found that it truly was me, the same Loki that you've always known, would you still have me redeem myself in your eyes?"
Thor nodded once and said, "Yes."
"You'd have me apologize and seek approval of all those that I have wronged?"
"Yes."
"And you would have me change who and what I am until I fulfill this delusion that you believe is your brother?"
"You are my brother, and you need only learn from your mistakes and vow never to repeat them to redeem yourself. You know this," Thor responded.
"And if I do this oh-so-simple task that you've ordained for me, then everything will go back to how it once was?" Loki asked quietly.
"Yes."
"No."
With that, Thor let go completely of Loki's shirt and stepped away so suddenly that Loki staggered against the wall. The two were silent for several long moments before Thor turned back to Loki and put on his most pleading look. It was one that had often fooled those that they grew up around.
"What do you possibly have to look forward to if you continue on this path?" Thor asked, seeming just as tired as Loki had prior to their conversation.
Loki barked out a single laugh and answered, "As if the Allfather will ever allow me freedom again. Whether I attempted to redeem myself or not, my future remains the same."
"It is not so, Brother!" Thor pleaded. "Father wishes for you to return to us as well."
"Even if I were to redeem myself – a foolish notion that you seem to think me capable of – what makes you think I would want to return to how life was 'before'? Why would I want to, once again, be no more than an untrusted figure seen only in your shadow?" Loki commented bitterly.
Thor let his shoulders fall and stared at Loki with a disheartened expression. "It that truly all you remember?" Loki looked away, unwilling to start down that path. Thor straightened and spoke again. "Then I will ensure that others see you for what and who you are!"
Loki chuckled lightly at Thor's words. "Ah, but Thor, they already see me as the monster that-"
"You are not," Thor interrupted, not even choosing to finish his statement. Loki swallowed, not seeing a speck of truth in Thor's words.
After a long moment of silence, Loki replied, "If I am to escape your shadow, Thor, then I must do so on my own. Any other method will only act to solidify the thoughts of others that I am nothing more than your shadow." Loki looked down, wondering why he was being so honest with his words. Perhaps it was the fact that he would most likely not have another chance in the foreseeable future to do so.
Thor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I refuse to give up on you, Brother," he said quietly. "I refuse to believe that it will ever be too late for you."
Loki rolled his eyes and huffed in disbelief, the actions more a reflex to Thor in general than to the words that he was speaking. "The sentiment," he spoke and saw Thor turn away from him before he could add in a whisper so quiet even he can barely hear it, "is appreciated, Brother."
The pause in Thor's movements tells Loki that Thor heard his words, and thankfully, the idiot has gained enough wits not to question it. Loki turned away and bit his lip in frustration. 'Why did I say that?' Loki thought angrily.
Behind him, Thor spoke again. "Brother, please let me understand so that I might help."
Loki knew there was no way to describe to Thor the answer that he needed. Instead he muttered quietly, "Please leave, Thor."
"I will not. Not until you show me why redemption is as impossible as you say it is."
He nearly laughed again before his mind raced around Thor's words. "Show you..." Loki pondered. He turned to face Thor abruptly and said, "Remove these accursed bracelets that bind my magic and I will show you completely, Thor."
Thor hesitated and answered, "Loki, you know I cannot..."
Loki laughed and sneered, "You speak of redemption and yet you will not grant me trust enough to try!"
"You swear only to show..." Thor stated, trailing off uncertainly.
Loki held up his hands to display his intentions. "I swear only to make you see why I can never come home, as you put it."
"You will not bring about anymore chaos?" Thor asked carefully.
At this, Loki chuckled and answered, "That is something that I will never swear to. I do so swear not to hurt or kill a single being through this demonstration. In fact, I swear that the effects of my magic will remain only between the two of us."
Thor held Loki's gaze for a long moment before nodding and saying, "Very well."
With that, he reached forward and unclasped the bracelets from around Loki's wrists. Almost immediately, Loki felt his magic return and he reached up and held his hands to either side of Thor's face.
Thor didn't have time to react before the magic enveloped him. The air around the two shone with a green light and then cleared just as quickly. Thor went limp in Loki's arms, and the younger god lowered the unconscious Thunderer to the floor.
Outside the cell, Loki could hear pounding footsteps approaching. He grinned from where he crouched on the floor next to Thor and muttered, "Let us see if you can understand it now, Brother."
So... thoughts? Please review and let me know – I hope this isn't too repetitive of a topic... If there's something you'd like to see, then please let me know! If you are interested, let me know what you think Loki's spell should be like! :)
