Say You Love Me
AN: This was prompted by a really old kink meme that I stumbled upon. The prompt was for Namine to hypnotize Kairi into loving her.
I really like the beginning set-up, but I feel that the middle went downhill fast.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or its characters.
It had always been him. My first conscious thoughts were filled to the brim with him. I was born through him, so it is not surprising. What is surprising is how it has changed so much, and so gradually that I hadn't even noticed until it was already too late to stop. I had wanted him to accept me. I had felt so alone, wanting nothing more than to be led by him. I was hurt when he abandoned me for her, but how could I blame him for choosing the original? I was nothing more than a shadow born from her desire of him. Though I was hurt, I wished for their happiness.
However, we both noticed that something had changed in him. Something was different in his relationship with both her and Riku. His bond with Riku seemed stronger in the places where theirs had grown weaker. I'm not sure which of us noticed first, but it became blatantly obvious that they were in "that" sort of a relationship. She had cried. She tried to hide her emotional turmoil from me, but I knew; I was a part of her after all. I hated seeing her like that.
As I said before, I'm not sure when my feelings changed, but knowing that Sora had abandoned both of us might have been the final spark to this flame. I knew her heart inside and out. I knew her hidden desires, her hopeful dreams. I shared in her pain. I began to take note of her physical appearance. Perhaps it first started out of mere curiosity. Not many people are able to take an outside look at themselves. I came to admire her curves, the swell of her breasts, the delicate mantle of her hair. I was disgusted with myself when I realized it was not pride in my own body that filled my mind when I gazed upon her, but instead lust.
I felt as if I had betrayed her in some way. After she had gone to the trouble of saving me, I paid her back by degrading her to a sexual icon. It was only thanks to her pleading that the Nobodies had been restored to their own bodies. They had all been granted new lives. While the others relished their fresh starts, I lived in fear of my secret being exposed. It's not that I feared what the others would think about me liking a girl. Sora was with Riku, and Roxas was with Axel. No, it wasn't the fact that we were both girls. It was solely the fact that it was Kairi. We were one person. These feelings were wrong on so many levels. The last thing I wanted was for her to discover my secret. I didn't care what anyone else thought, but if anyone else knew then there would be a possibility of the information leaking to her. Therefore, I tried hard to conceal these growing emotions. And grew they did.
I was reaching a breaking point when an odd opportunity presented itself. Ever since Sora's and Riku's relationship was revealed, Kairi had turned toward me for support. We had lamented over our lost chances, and thus grew close as friends. We often spent time together now, so it wasn't odd that Kairi asked me to hang out. What was odd was the nature of what she asked. She wanted to see a hypnotist. She said that she wanted to forget her feelings for him. If she did then she could live more peacefully, finally move on. I knew that this was unhealthy. Her emotions were precious and should never be given up, yet I gave into my selfish desires and went along with her idea. I had thought that if she forgot about Sora, then perhaps she could come to feel for me in his place.
I had gone completely as support, having no intention of being hypnotized as well, but when we entered the hypnotist set her sights on me instead. She took me aside. I tried in vain to get Kairi's help, but she only giggled and waved me on. I was taken into a back room. The only light came from a dozen candles placed arbitrarily around the room. There was a table in the center with a tarot display. To the left was a plush floor bed.
I moved toward the bed, but the woman stopped me.
"I usually do a reading before my sessions. That way I know what to focus on."
"That's okay. I didn't come here for a session anyway."
"You might not have come here for one, but the universe tells me that you are in need of one. Sit." I reluctantly sat down and watched as she replaced the lain out cards to her deck and shuffled. "Cut the deck into three separate decks," she ordered. I did as she instructed feeling an odd sensation as I touched the cards. She then recombined the cards, shuffled again, and drew a new spread.
"It appears that you have had much lost in your past. You have never felt good enough, and still don't. You never longed for anything of real value for yourself, but now you find yourself wishing for something. Am I correct?"
Taken aback, I simply nodded.
"Let's see. And the object of your affection is…aw The Lovers. Yes. The girl who came here with you today, I presume?"
"H-how could you-?"
"The cards speak volumes when you know how to ask them." The woman smiled kindly. "The cards show that depending on your actions today your relationship will change drastically. You may either blossom this love, or lose her forever."
"What! How do I blossom our relationship instead of losing her?"
"I do not know. The cards give only guidance, not answers. The only one who can create the future is you."
"Would you like me to hypnotize you?"
"What good would that do." No. The real question was if I should still let Kairi go through with her hypnosis. What if she did forget him only to remember later? What if she blamed me for letting her go through it? But what chance did I have of "blossoming" our relationship with Sora caught between us? It seemed the hypnosis was my only option.
"I take it there is a boy involved as well." The hypnotist said.
"Ah, yes…she came here to forget about him."
"How about I make her love you instead?"
"You can do that!"
"Of course," she said blinking. I felt guilty, but with the stakes presented to me, I didn't have a choice. It was either force the relationship or lose her forever.
Kairi emerged from the back room looking as normal as ever, expect for the wide grin upon her face. Seeing me she leapt over and took my hand in hers. "Let's go Namine. I have something I want to show you." With that she waved goodbye while yelling "Thank you" loudly to the hypnotist. Once we were outside surprisingly she gave me a warm kiss. Shocked, I let her guide me blindly to a meadow overlooking a field of flowers.
"Isn't it beautiful?" she asked sitting down and patting for me to sit beside her. I did so and stared at her. She looked more radiant than I'd ever seen her. Her face shown with pleasure and her wide and inviting.
"Um, Kairi," I started hesitantly.
"Yes, Namine?" She tilted her head to the side adorably.
"How do you feel about me?"
"I love you!" She beamed. At first I was thrilled. I was loved. This person beside me was willing to be with me. I was finally worthy of something beautiful. Yet, I knew deep down that wasn't true. This wasn't the real Kairi. This was the product of my scheme for my own happiness. I wasn't worthy of her after all, not when I cared more about my own happiness over her own. Who knew what she truly wanted? I knew it wasn't this.
My unpleasant thoughts must have shown on my face for she asked, "What's wrong?"
"I can't. We have to go back."
"Home already? But it's not even dinner time yet. We can stay out a bit longer, can't we?"
"No, not home. We need to reverse this. I made her do this to you, and I'm so sorry. It was wrong, so wrong of me."
"It's okay." She said staring at me seriously.
"But I-"
"I know."
"What?" She kissed me again, but this one was different. It wasn't as giddy. It felt powerful, as if it was built on long held in emotion.
"I love you," she repeated staring straight into my eyes. "Really love you. I know about what you tried to do at the hypnotist's."
"You do?"
"Yep. She told me all about your feelings. What a bad girl you are, letting me find out from someone else." She turned away pouting.
"You forgive me?"
"I guess I have to since I love so much." She stuck out her tongue in good measure making me laugh.
This was too good to be true. For the rest of the day I expected to wake up and it all be a dream. If it really was a dream, it was a never-ending one, because day after day she never let me forget she loved me. I had never thought that I deserved anything, much less love. Perhaps that was the true reason I had held back. I would try to assert myself more. I was worthy. I was loved. That was all I'd ever wanted.
