-1 I remember the last time I saw him. I hated to leave but I had to. I loved him, I did but I couldn't take it. All of the arguing and the fighting, the tears, it's all too hard. How could I have thought that, after everything that we have been through, this would be a breeze? I still remember all the pain and love in his eyes but at that moment, it all seemed so fake to me.
It was pouring rain. I was running. I had no idea what I was running from. All I heard was panting. I didn't know if it was a thing or a person. I bumped into someone. Beautiful green eyes were the first thing I saw. Then came the gun shot. I closed my eyes and the only thing I heard was a gun shot. He had his arms wrapped around me and he was holding me tight
"You're safe" he said
"I missed you Dean Winchester"
"I missed you to Elena Gilbert"
I left him and for what, the fear of getting him hurt. He's a demon hunter for goodness sakes. He is the definition of hurt. Now what. I left him and now I have a Vampire husband. He would love that.
I still think about him. At night I can still feel him there. Beside me with his chest pressed to my back. When I would cry, he would calm me down in such a way that nobody else could. He knew everything. That I was adopted and that I was out on a quest to find her. We left during the summer, me and him. Near the end I realized that I didn't want to meet her but I didn't want to leave Dean. Deep down, I loved him more than I could ever have imagined. He was my all. And I left without a note or a goodbye. He never contacted me ever again.
I lied to Stefan when I said I couldn't have babies. But the truth was that I didn't want his babies, I wanted Deans. He was my protector. Sure Stefan had powers but dean had my heart. And that was all that mattered.I can't leave Stefan and hurt him the way I hurt Dean. Maybe I had to give up my happiness but as long as no one got hurt. It didn't matter to me.
Dear Diary, I love Dean Wichester and without him. I can't breathe.
