Disclaimer: Stephanie and Ranger and anything else you recognize belong to Janet Evanovich. I am merely entertaining myself and derive no profit from this writing. "I Won't Let Go" is performed by Rascal Flatts.
A/N: I'm not a huge fan of song fics, but this song, "I Won't Let Go" has helped me deal with a lot of hard times recently. This fic was written in response to my feelings about the April 27 tornado that devastated the city where I live. I have never seen such destruction in all my life. But within one hour of the storm, my neighbors were on the radio giving their phone numbers and offering help. Restaurants set up sites all over the city to give free food to relief workers and disaster victims. Men with equipment went to help perfect strangers cut down trees off of their homes. Every church in the city collected money, as well as goods. Ninety-five percent of my county was without power for over a week. I was in the debris for many days afterwards searching for my clients and taking medicine and supplies to those who had no way to leave their homes or shelters. I cannot express to you the despair, hope and gratitude that I witnessed during this time. If you type in "I Won't Let Go Alabama Tornado" into the you tube search engine, several videos will show the destruction. Thank you for reading and I welcome your reviews and comments.
I Won't Let Go
I sat on the beach at Point Pleasant at midnight, thinking about the day that drove me to run here. It had been a fairly ordinary day for me. This morning, Lula and I went after a skip, who ended up getting in a good lick by throwing me against a brick wall. I jumped up and ran after him. He rounded a corner by a dumpster, waited on the other side and when I ran around the corner, grabbed me and threw me into the dumpster.
It wasn't unusual for something like this to happen to me, that's why I'm not sure what happened. The second he grabbed me I started remembering all of my disasters over the past few years. All the stalkers and psychotic maniacs that chased me and blew up my cars. The Slayers kidnapping me and trying to gang rape me. Constantine Stiva locking me in a coffin for several hours. These thoughts paralyzed me. I felt such an overwhelming fear and panic that I lay in the dumpster until Lula found me and helped me out.
"Stephanie, are you okay?" Lula asked. I shook my head and asked her to take me back to my car. I didn't say anything. I didn't go into the bonds office. I just got in my car and drove to Point Pleasant. When I got there it was just after lunchtime, but I had never felt less hungry in my life. I had driven as close as I could get to the beach. I turned off my car and sat there. I just sat there. I don't remember having a coherent thought for a long time. I didn't notice the people or sounds around me. Families with young children heading to the beach, the waves crashing against the shore, radios in distant cars. I didn't see or hear any of it.
Eventually, I realized that it had gotten dark. I got out of the car and went to sit on the beach. I had just sat down when I heard a car backfire. The sound startled me so bad that I burst into tears and curled into myself, hugging my legs to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs. I thought about the feeling of being buried alive by Stiva, the absolute terror I felt when I was kidnapped by the Slayers and my horror at seeing Ranger shot by Scrog. Ranger. He was the one person who made me feel safe. As if conjured by my thoughts, I felt strong arms wrap around me and pull me close. I smelled Bulgari and a light musk scent that I associated with safety and the man I love.
"Babe." I don't know how long we sat there. I sobbed into his chest while he held me tight. I let go of all the years of fear and bouncing back from disaster. I let go of all the times I knew I was walking into danger and walked in anyway. I let go of the need to do everything alone, the fear of needing anyone.
Ranger let me cry until I didn't have anything left. He stroked my hair and spoke softly to me in Spanish. I don't know what he said, but it made me feel better. It made me feel safe and cherished. Until that moment, I didn't realize that it had been years since I felt safe and I didn't ever remember feeling cherished.
I pulled myself out of Ranger's arms and looked up at him, intending to thank him. Instead, he took my face in his hands gently and wiped away the last of my tears with his thumbs. He looked at me for long moments and said, "You're not alone. I'll help you through. I will fight your fights. I'll stand by you." He wrapped me in his arms again and whispered, "Babe, I won't let go."
Lyrics to "I Won't Let Go"
It's like a storm
That cuts a path
It breaks your will
It feels like that
You think your lost
But your not lost on your own
You're not alone
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
If you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go
It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it's dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we're too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let you fall
Don't be afraid to fall
I'm right here to catch you
I wont let you down
It won't get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it
Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go
Oh I'm gonna hold you
And I wont let go
Wont let you go
