Sometimes I think that I've written far too many stories, but I suppose if you are tired of me and my particular McFadden take - you can choose not to read them. I was re-watching my episodes and wished there were more which of course made me think of a story. I hope that you enjoy it and whatnot. I always appreciate your reviews.

Fifteen year old, Crane McFadden pushed open the door to the local market and went straight for the candy aisle. He had just enough time before school for a quick stop and he was starving. To be perfectly honest, he was almost always starving. It seemed that no matter how much he ate, he still felt hungry. It drove his older brothers crazy.

"You just ate!" Brian would say when Crane would open the refrigerator ten minutes after dinner. "I gotta double the food budget just for you!"

His brothers worried about money. They worried about the ranch, and their younger brothers, and the stacks of bills on the table. They worried about a lot of things, and Crane hated that his never-ending hunger added to their stress. He had started hoarding his pennies and dimes, so that he could stop in before school and grab a snack for himself. He tried to eat less at home, too, but his growling stomach wasn't happy about it. And eventually, Adam, who could be surprisingly observant for a twenty year old, noticed.

"Buddy, you can't starve yourself." He said one afternoon.

"I'm not."

"The hell you're not! Look at you! You starting to look like you just left Auschwitz. Go on, eat something." He put a hand on Crane's shoulder.

"I don't want to mess up the food budget." He said softly.

"Oh, don't listen to Brian! He's not happy 'less he's complaining. Don't you worry about the budget! Eat."

Crane appreciated Adam's encouragement, but still he tried to hold back a little, and tried to help things out by buying himself a snack or two. He contemplated the candy aisle and decided on Peanut Butter Cups figuring it was sort of healthy - what with the peanut butter and all. He hummed cheerfully and headed to the front to pay, but his path was blocked by Mrs. Anderson, a rather large, rather slow-moving woman who was liable to pat him on his head and say, "Oh, you poor, poor dears."

Living in a small town like they did, everyone knew their story. And, as Adam was quick to point out, you could drown yourself in a pool of pity if you wanted to. The town was filled with women whose eyes would grow big and sad at the sight of any McFadden boy. It pissed Adam off, and bugged Crane too. Brian, however, reveled in it - and got free meals and phone numbers whenever he went into town.

"Stop fighting gravity." He used to tell Adam. "If it makes them happy to buy me a steak dinner, who am I to take that away from them? Besides, there's a lot of pretty girls around town."

Avoiding, Mrs. Anderson he quickly turned down another aisle, accidently dropping the candy bar. As he knelt to pick it up, he was brought down to eye-level with a row of soaps, bubble bath, and lotions. The smell of lavender sent him reeling backward in time.

"Wait! I forgot something!" His mother said as they neared the front of the store.

"Mom!" He wailed. "This is taking forever!"

"Oh, Crane, stop complaining. Listen, sweetheart, go over to that third aisle there, and grab me some of that lavender bubble bath."

"Mom! That's for girls!" He said horrified. "I can't do that!"

"I'm not asking you to use it. I just need you to . . .Oh, never mind. You stay here with the little guys. I'll be right back." She handed him, Ford who was sleeping in her arms, and disappeared down the long row.

He held his baby brother overwhelmed with guilt. His father had often pointed out that his mother was the only girl in a house of men, and therefore should be treated with utmost kindness. "She's a brave girl, boys, and we need to treat her carefully. Look for ways to make things easier for her - that's the McFadden Rule Number One. You prove your manhood by how well you treat your girl."

He hung his head shamefully, unable to meet her eyes when she returned.

"I'm sorry, Mama. I should have . . ."

"Oh, Crane." She said with a laugh, reaching out and lifting his chin. "You are allowed to be nine. You forget, I've had two nine year old's already. Don't worry about it, sweetheart."

His feet felt rooted to the ground, and he reached out with a tentative hand and lifted the bottle off the shelf. He flipped open the lid and smelled the sweet scent. He hadn't realized that he was crying until he saw Ben, the store owner, standing over him.

"Crane?" He asked gently. "Did you hurt yourself? You okay?"

Embarrassed, he wiped a sleeve across his eyes, and quickly put the bottle back on the shelf. Rising he said quickly, "No. I . . . I . . . I'm sorry. I was just . . ."

Ben glanced at the bottle that Crane had set back on the shelf. "You want to buy that?" He asked somewhat perplexed, and then pausing a moment said, "Your mom used to buy that?"

"Yeah." Crane said softly sniffing. "Sorry, I didn't . . ."

"Oh, don't worry about that." He said waving a dismissive hand at Crane who had stood, and was now staring at his shoes. "You hungry?"

Crane shrugged his shoulders unable to meet the man's eyes.

"When I was your age, I was always hungry. Come on, let's go over to Marie's. I'll buy you breakfast."

"No, I gotta get to school."

"Ah, to hell with school. Come on." He turned without waiting for a reply and Crane reluctantly followed him out of the store.

"Karen, I'll be back." Mr. Gunn said over his shoulder as he led Crane out and across the street to the cafe.

He sat down at the table, hoping that no one could tell he'd been crying, and that Ben wouldn't give him a "pep" talk. People were always pulling them aside and telling them inspirational stories, or giving them words of encouragement. Once, a teacher at school pulled him aside to tell him a long story about how hard things had been after his favorite dog had died. The whole time Crane had nodded his head, and listened politely, but inside, he was thinking of ways to beat the crap out of him. As if the loss of a stupid dog, could match the searing anguish of being parentless at fourteen.

"Give 'em the works, Marie." Ben said when she walked up to the table. "Look at him."

"Don't your brothers feed you?' She asked one hand on her hip. "I think I better starting making you fellas three casseroles not two. I didn't realize how tall you've become." She squeezed his shoulder and disappeared.

"Adam's gonna be mad I cut school. Maybe I should . . ." Since, Adam had turned eighteen, they worried less about being taken from their home, but social services still kept a close eye on them all.

"Oh! I'll go call the school." Ben said and Crane watched him walk up front and borrow the phone. By the time he came back, Marie had set two plates in front of Crane. He looked down and was overwhelmed with the sight of so much food. Eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, four pieces of toast, an English muffin, and four pancakes.

"That's more like it." Ben said taking his seat.

"Juice or milk?" Marie asked him.

"Orange juice, please." Normally, he always drank milk because it was more filling.

"I'll bring both." She said with a nod. "Ben, you want anything?"

"Oh, this coffee is fine." He said lifting the cup to his lips. "Well, maybe some toast?"

"I'll be right back."

"Don't wait on my account. Go ahead, Crane." Ben said.

Crane lifted his fork hesitantly and looked up to see Marie set two glasses in front of him.

"Thank you." He said before taking his first bite, and was horrified when tears filled his eyes.

"Oh, that's alright, Crane." She said gently, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I always feel appreciated when someone with a good appetite eats my food." She turned away, and Crane watched her wipe tears out of her own eyes.

"Go on." Ben said encouragingly, ignoring Crane's tears.

He ate it all, and when Marie put a piece of banana cream pie in front of him, he ate that too. Sitting back in his chair, he felt that his stomach would burst.

"Enough?" Ben asked with a laugh. "If you need more, let us know now. Marie's got a side of beef in the freezer, and she'll need to defrost it for ya."

"No, I'm full." Crane said.

"Good." Ben said. "Doesn't happen too often does it?"

"No." Crane said honestly.

"I remember fifteen." Ben said with a shake of his head. "Once, I got up in the middle of the night, I was so hungry. I ate everything that was in that refrigerator. My mother was furious when she got up that morning!"

"Thanks Mr. Gunn, I really appreciate it. I don't know why . . ."

"Strangest things set it off, don't they?" Ben said thoughtfully. "I was twenty-two when my sweet mama died. And once, I was standing in the laundry mat, over in Sonora, and the smell of that damn fabric softener took me back to when I was a boy helping her with the laundry. I bawled like a baby in front of everyone. People must've thought I was crazy. I was so embarrassed, I rushed out and left all my clothes there!" He looked over at Crane who said nothing. "Come on, Karen's watching the store still. I'll drive you home."

"I should probably get back to school."

"Nah, some days, you just got let the sorrow win. You can't fight it all the time." Ben said standing and Crane followed him out of the store. "Go get in the truck. I just gotta talk to Karen." He said disappearing.

Crane climbed in the truck and sat waiting. He could see the elementary school from where he sat and scanned the playground filled with children for his brothers. He saw Evan playing soccer on the big field, but couldn't spot Danny, until he finally saw him alone on a bench. He sighed, feeling a heaviness, but not just from the huge meal he'd just consumed.

"Alrighty." Ben said climbing in next to him, and setting a bag on the seat between them.

"Adam's gonna . . ." He began.

"Don't worry about Adam." Ben said.

But Crane did worry. The entire ride home. He was sure Adam would be mad at him for missing school and seeing Crane upset like he was would worry him to no end. Adam worried enough.

Ben stopped his truck in front of the house, and followed Crane up the steps.

"Thanks for bringing him home, Mr. Gunn." Adam said stepping onto the porch with a hand outstretched.

"Oh, call me Ben." Mr. Gunn said shaking his hand. "No trouble at all." He turned to Crane and handed him the bag he had carried in his arm. "You keep that for when you want to remember." He reached out and squeezed the boy's shoulder before darting back down the stairs and into the truck.

Crane stood staring at his feet, unable to meet his older brother's eyes.

"I was just feeding Guthrie lunch. You wanna help?" Adam asked opening the door. He followed Adam into the kitchen where Guthrie sat at the table eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Crane!" Guthrie said happily.

"Hey, buddy." Crane said smiling at his rather sticky-looking baby brother. "That jelly's supposed to go on the inside."

"I know, right?" Adam said with a laugh. He set a cup of milk in front of Guthrie, and sat beside their baby brother. Crane sat down across from him.

"What's in the bag?" Adam asked.

Crane reached in and pulled out the bottle of bubble bath without meeting Adam's eyes. Adam reached over and lifted the bottle to his face, smelling it.

"Smells like Mom." He said gently.

"Yeah." Crane said fighting down tears again. "I don't know what happened, Adam. I'm sorry for missing school."

"Well, it sounds like you got kidnapped by Mr. Gunn, so it's not really your fault." He glanced at Guthrie before turning back to Crane with sigh. "Some days it just sucks."

"Yeah." Crane agreed. "It really does."

"You wanna talk about it?" Adam asked him as he lifted Guthrie out of his seat and over to the sink to clean his face.

"Nothing to say." Crane said with a sigh.

"Crane," Adam began.

"No, it isn't like last year, Adam. I just mean . . ." He rose and handed Adam a towel so he could dry Guthrie's face. "Some days the sorrow wins."

"Yeah." Adam agreed thoughtfully. "Yeah." He gave his younger brother a sad smile.

"Crane!" Guthrie said lifting his arms, and both brothers smiled at him.

"Well, on the other hand," Adam said. "Nothing mends a broken heart like an afternoon with smelly cows."

"I don't know." Crane said teasing. "I might sit around and think tragic thoughts."

"You can think tragic thoughts at the upper pasture, too." Adam pointed out.

The front door slammed just then and the brothers looked up surprised, as Brian stormed in.

"I've had it, Adam! He cut class! He just walked out!"

"No, he didn't. Mr. Gunn called the school. You were out so I didn't get a chance to tell you." Adam said turning to Brian who stood against the doorjamb fuming.

"What are you doing home?" Brian said seeing Crane standing next to Adam.

"He came home early. I thought that's what you were . . . wait. What are you talking about?" Adam asked.

"Danny. Who the hell else would I be talking about! He cut class! And now he's sitting out there in that truck and won't get out!" Brian said. "I had to drive all the way into town to pick him up and then he won't say one damn word the whole way home! I swear, Junior, Dad would tan his backside!"

Adam handed Guthrie to Crane and sighed heavily. He passed Brain in the doorway who stood shaking his head.

"Don't baby him, Junior. He can't be cutting class!" Brian said following Adam to the front room.

"Don't call me Junior, Brian or I'll tan your backside." Adam said before stepping outside.

Adam studied his younger brother who sat in the truck with arms crossed. He could have laughed. Danny looked pissed off; one angry little man. He opened the passenger door.

"Come on." He said quietly. "Get out." But Danny just turned his face away. "Daniel, get down out of that truck right now."

"No." Danny said stubbornly, his face still turned away.

"You get your backside down out of that truck, Daniel Robert McFadden, or will I climb up there and put my damn boot in it." He kept his voice stern. Slowly, reluctantly, Danny climbed down. He stood beside the truck, his fists balled, his face a mask of fury.

"You cut class?' Adam asked him.

"Just art." He said. "I don't know why everyone is making such a big deal out of it. I already know how to color."

"I don't even know . . ." Adam sputtered in frustration. "You are twelve years old, Danny. You go to school. That's the deal."

"Brian didn't even ask me why I cut class. He just started hollering! I don't even care!" He stormed angrily in the house and up the stairs slamming the door behind him.

Adam stayed where he was and tried to push down his fury. He had no idea how his mother had ever managed his brothers. Every single one was so different, and it was never ending, hard, hard work, keeping up with everyone. He walked back into the house, where Crane sat on the floor rolling a ball back and forth with Guthrie. Brian sat on the arm of the couch beside them.

"You see?" He said angrily. "I understand he's a sensitive kid. But come on! He's acting like a spoiled brat."

"You hear me arguing with you?" Adam said with equal heat. "I'm twenty, Brian. You could cut me a little slack on my parenting skills, alright."

Brian stepped back as though he'd been struck. "Yeah, yeah." He said his voice calmer now. "I'm sorry, man. I just . . . I get so frustrated."

"I know the feeling." Adam said running a hand through his hair. "Look, let's let him sit on it awhile. We got work to do."

"Cows!" Guthrie said clapping his hands with joy. "Cows!"

"You want me to talk to him?" Crane asked.

"No, I want you to work." Adam said grinning at him. "Stop trying to find a way to sit on your butt all afternoon." He smiled at Crane who grinned back.

"Why are you home anyway?" Brian asked.

"Because Mr. Gunn bought him breakfast and gave him bubble bath." Adam said with a wink at Crane. "Come on, fellas." He lifted Guthrie off the floor and head out the back door to the barn.

"What?" Brian asked following Adam out the door.

***7***

"We waited for you at the bus, but you didn't come. And then Mrs. Simons said we had to get on the bus 'cause it was leaving." Evan said when Danny met them at the bus stop.

"I went home early." Danny said. "Adam should have called."

"I wasn't scared. Ford was."

"I was not!" Ford said highly offended. "Why couldn't you call?"

"Shut up, Ford." Danny said angrily and then immediately felt guilty when Ford's bright blue eyes clouded over with sorrow.

"I don't gotta, shut up." Ford said.

"You don't gotta be mean, Danny!" Evan said wrapping an arm around his younger brother and the two of them walked away toward the house. He watched them as they climbed the porch steps, and were greeted at the door by Brian who leaned in close to them, and then rising studied him from afar.

"Great" Daniel thought to himself. "Just great!"

He moved slowly across the yard and up the steps and into the house. He could hear his brothers in the kitchen but he stayed rooted where he was.

"Stables need mucking."

He looked up surprised to see Brian standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. He considered arguing just for the sake of arguing, but seeing Brian's icy stare, decided to go to the barn. Besides, mucking out the stables was just about right. At least the work fit just how he felt.