Father Knows Best: An Evangelion Fanfiction

AN: I'm pretty sure this idea has been done before. I'm certain it's never been brought to completion. Let's change that.


Chapter One: Wanting Nails

Yui was dead.

A thousand other thoughts should have been his focus at the moment, but it all kept looping back around that. Yui was dead. Kind, smart, benevolent, too-good-for-this-sinful-earth, and certainly too good for him Yui was gone, vanishing into Unit-01, with no chance of returning, despite his efforts, and a litany of curses hurled at Drs Akagi and Fuyutsuki. He couldn't even figure out who to blame. Was it a SEELE plot, or Yui's own design? Assassination or set-up for a grander plan he could only guess at? Maybe it was Fate, a random occurrence or simply just an accident. Gendo was favouring spite right now. Clearly God, or whatever was close to it, had chosen to give its favourite chew toy another kick, just when he'd finally become settled, happy even, with the life he'd forged for himself. Speaking of which…

Settled in his lap, Yui's child gave a kick, eyelids flickering rapidly as he dreamed. To be honest, it was more likely a nightmare. Watching one's mother die before your eyes would do that. Hopefully he would forget it soon, as children were wont to do at his age, and go back to… doing whatever it was his son did. Which probably involved Yui, as God knew Gendo Ikari was not good with children, especially his own. Or anyone other than… dead. She was still dead. Fuck.

But the fact remained. Even with Yui gone, Third Impact would happen, one way or the other, with the members of SEELE becoming the immortal rulers of whatever was left of mankind after that whole clusterfuck went down… they were going to stop it once. Take back mankind from the old men and save the world… or was the plan to help all men ascend to that state prophesized as "Heaven"? Damn it all, would the struggle even be worth it without her? Unless…

But that would be turning his back on everything she had stood for. It might even end up making him as bad as the old men if handled incorrectly… well; it wasn't like he hadn't stared into the abyss before. Hell, it was almost getting to become a hobby. On his lap, the boy yawned, shifting into the palm preventing him from slipping onto the floor head-first. Which brought Gendo back to his other problem. He had no idea how to raise a child, hell, he could barely deal with other people, despite Yui's best attempts to pull him out of his shell. And history had an unfortunate habit of repeating. Could the world really deal with two Gendo Ikaris? The thought sent a shiver up his spine, as unwanted memories came unbidden from the back of his mind.

The shadow looming over him, bottle in hand and malice in eyes.

The stares of other children, hushed whispers in hallways and a sea of backs wherever he would turn.

The gangly teenager built like steel wire, glaring back at him with dead eyes from a broken mirror.

A mix of a hundred unimportant faces, features blurred by alcohol as his fists flew with reckless abandon.

Yui, standing at the mouth of an alleyway looking down on him as shafts of morning sunlight enveloped her form.

If he chose to raise Yui's son, the long path to bringing her back would become longer. He would have to become better than he was… actually try to form bonds with another person, whilst keeping the boy on the straight and narrow, making sure he grew up ready for the trials that lay before humanity. He'd be an Evangelion Pilot, of that there could be no doubt. Unit 01 would probably only respond to him now, if they were unlucky. And Lady Luck hadn't so much as glanced his way in years.

Or, he could ship him off to Yui's sister and her family. Better to have no father than one who could barely care for himself, let alone a child. Her branch of the family had never seen eye-to-eye with him, but they would take in his nephew without complaint. It would likely be a cold household, and it risked the boy growing up to be anything, perhaps even something out of Gendo's control. But it would be easier. He could once again become the man with a heart of stone without the boy with Yui's features looking at him every day.

"Dad? Is Momma back?"

Shit, when did he wake up? Hesitantly, he rested his free hand on the boy's head, staring into those hopeful, dark blue eyes, one of the few things he inherited from his father. And now he had to break the news to the child he himself was barely recovering from.

"Your mother isn't returning Shinji… she's gone."

There, clear and to the point. That should get it across well enou- oh god, please don't start crying!

"Gon'?"

"Yes… yes, she is."

And so began the waterworks, the child resting his head into Gendo's chest and howling as he left a trail of tears and snot across his sweater, arms wrapped tightly around his father. Damn, would he be able to deal with a lifetime of this? Raising a child that felt more his wife's than his own, struggling through the pain of her disappearance, trying to fill the gap left behind by someone undoubtedly his better? Yes, abandoning him would be best; he would only be hurt if he stayed in the presence of his father. He'd make some calls, gather up his things and take him over on the train before the week was out.

The crying had come down to a most suitable level as the child dissolved into sniffles, before looking back up at his father, probably expecting his tears to be wiped away by a caring hand.

"Can she come bac'?"

Stop. Stop staring at him with those expectant eyes, like your father is worth a damn and can make this better without sacrificing the rest of the planet. Stop looking like her, twisting the knife in his heart with each word. Stop… stop making him reconsider throwing you to the wolves for your own good.

"Dad?"

… It would be useful to have a trained pilot, especially one with undying loyalty to his father. One who could help stand with him as they attempted to bring back his mother, and fight the old men. It wasn't like there were many other candidates after all. And, if he did have to call him back to Toyko-3, wouldn't it be better if he could protect himself? He'd still be throwing Yui's son out to fight monsters from beyond the realm of human understanding, but at least he'd be able to match them.

"Maybe."

Why did you say that? What part of you possessed you to say that? This will end terribly, it could never end well!

Still… if he could form a bond with one Ikari, who wasn't to say he couldn't do it again? He was going to attempt the impossible anyway, why not go beyond it and reforge himself in the seas of parenthood whilst he was at it?

Damn, Yui had changed him more than he'd thought; this sort of optimism, however stumbling and shaky, was unknown to him before. Biting on his lip with a resigned sigh and a prayer to whatever God existed to be kind to him for a second time in his life; he scooped up the child and made for the door of his office.

"Come on Shinji, let's find Uncle Kozo, we've got work to do."