The Results

Selina Kyle sat anxiously on the toilet lid, she was not a patient woman. She had to make herself leave the bathroom making sure she could still hear the tick of the timer. This was the longest five minutes of her life. Isis was following her, meowing his discontent at being ignored. Holly was still in school, thankfully. How could she have been so stupid. Memories from ninth grade health class kept popping up in her head, they made the class watch videos on wrapping it up to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STD's. Selina couldn't handle a kid right now, could she? She didn't think so. She had practically raised Holly, since the girl was 12. Joker, of all the people she had to lay down with she chose the Joker. She had kept a low profile ever since the Batman had come into the picture and even still when he had suddenly disappeared. However her sister Maggie had gotten in trouble with Falcone Jr and needed 5 million within two weeks. So Selina, so eager to take on the big sister role had donned the costume and hit the Jewelry store across from the Gotham credit union. Big mistake, Joker spotted her the minute she entered the building as he and his goons were robbing the bank. Selina had never met the Joker, she had seen him enough on TV and thought he was safely tucked away in Arkham but alas he had just broken out the night before, the news outlets were mum on the topic as the police didn't want to have Gotham in a panic. Even if she had known of his release though, she cant say it would've made much of a difference. Selina tried to busy herself in the kitchen, looking for something to snack on but nothing seemed to appease her. It had been like that lately though. She felt she had a craving for something but just didn't know what it was, and things that she use to enjoy like cheddar popcorn and cheese curls just left her unfulfilled. The ding of the timer sent Isis to investigate. Selina made her way back into the bathroom, imagining Chopin's funeral march playing in the background. She looked at herself in the mirror, trying to psych herself up for whatever the stick presented to her. She picked up the stick, her stomach dropped at the results. There was no mistaking the two solid lines, she was definitely pregnant. Selina started laughing, a full belly laugh, she couldn't stop herself. Tears rolled down her face and she clutched at her side in a futile attempt to try and catch her breath. She had a plan right? There were options for women in situations like this? No matter how Selina thought of it, she just couldn't terminate the pregnancy something about it didn't seem right. She wondered if she should tell the Joker, but she hardly knew him and yeah he was a good lay but aside from that he was a fucking murderer with bipolar mood swings. Thankfully she hadn't seen the rage directed at her, but she wasn't naive enough to think he never would. Just this morning he had sent a tape to the Gotham News Stations that showed him torturing a dirty cop. Gotham hadn't known he was dirty but every one in the underground knew of Officer Martin, and of course when Joker showed video footage of Martin sniffing coke and blackmailing, and beating prostitutes there was no mistaking it. Commissioner Gordon apologized to the community during a press conference and explained that although Officer Martin was less than stellar morally he still deserved to face justice like everyone else in Gotham. The next video sent in showed a pig hanging on a meat hook in a cold freezer upside down, The Joker was dressed like something from a nightmare, Long black shiny Leather gloves, and matching long apron used for butchers. He had a special carving knife that he gleefully showed to the camera cackling in amusement. Then the angle changed and the camera showed Officer Martin completely naked strung upside down with what looked like an apple in his mouth, seemingly kept in place by a black strip of fabric tied around his head. What was shown next could only be watched on special networks or online, too gruesome to be shown on basic television. Joker carved Martin like a pig, blood squirting everywhere whenever he would hit an artery. Steam rose from the wounds showing just how cold it was in that freezer, and Martins cries of agony were deafening. Joker could be heard grunting during some of the strikes on the man, and he laughed maniacally when the man's body finally let go, shitting and pissing all over himself. The Jokers face filled the screen again blocking the horrific view, a bloody surgical mask covered his nose and mouth which he gladly pulled down showing his yellowed teeth and infamous Glasgow smile, he licked his lips before saying, "Smells like bacon"! The camera had cut to black, and the news anchor was utterly speechless. What followed was a Charmin toilet paper commercial which Selina couldn't help scoffing at as she ran to the bathroom to empty that mornings breakfast.