"Ooh, guys. C'mon, c'mon, it's starting!" They gathered around the TV, Bernadette hesitating only an instant before taking Sheldon's precious spot. The others settled into their normal positions, gazing avidly at the screen.

"Hello, and welcome. Today's contestants: a historian from Maple Creek, Michigan, a physicist from Pasadena, California, and a retired cab driver from Boston, Massachusetts. And now, here is your host for Jeopardy… Alex Trebek!"

Two of the contestants clapped happily as the aging show host strolled into the room. After introducing the categories, he allowed Mary, the historian, to start.

"Hmmm… I'll take American History for 100."

Ignoring a snort of derision, Alex read the clue: "Considered the major precursor to the Revolutionary War, this war involved both the French and the British. Yes, Sheldon?"

"What is the Seven Years War?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Now, let's-"

"Hang on, now. The Seven Years War, fought between France and Austria on one side and Britain and Prussia on the other, encompassed several other wars, not the most important of which is the French and Indian War, to which you were obviously referring."

"I'm sorry, Sheldon, but you're going to have to lose your turn on that, as you cannot tell other contestants the answers."

"So you admit that I knew! Now, all I have to do is phrase it as some inane question to get the points, correct?"

"Um, we're going to cut to an early commercial break. We'll be right back."

The screen went black. Penny leaned over and whispered into Leonard's ear, "Did that just happen?" He nodded tersely, holding back a chortle.

"And we're back. I've been informed that the Seven Years War is technically correct, so Sheldon may have the points."

"Thank you, Alex." Alex shot him what could only be described as a death glare.

"Alright, let's continue. Sheldon, you have command of the board."

"Thank you. Let's see, now. I'll take 'name that scientist' for 500."

"This Greek mathematician was the first to postulate the existence of the atom. Yes, Mary?"

"Who is Democritus?"

"Correct."

"Hang on, that's not fair."

"What is it now, Sheldon?"

"Well, she should have waited for me to answer, as I had the best chance of doing so."

"Well, she rang in first, and that is how the game is played."

"Excuse me, this is a game of wits, is it not? Games of wits don't have rules, much as wars don't have rules. Furthermore, I refuse to lose points on a scientific category to someone who clearly didn't have the strength to get a real degree."

"What? I have a Masters in History."

"Yes, isn't that adorable. Your parents must have been so proud."

"We're going to take another break. We'll be right back."

Sheldon wasn't there when they came back from the break, and he showed up back at the apartment a few hours later.

"Hey, what happened?" asked Leonard, trying nobly to look sympathetic.

"You know what happened: I was humiliated, denied a chance to compete, and kicked out of the studio. It's sad to think that conceited ignoramuses such as those that run Jeopardy now control our intellectual climate. I shudder to think what will happen to those such as myself in the next generation, as at the current rate of decay I imagine that people like Howard will be allowed to compete in our intellectual 'challenges.' Ugh, I need to go… who sat in my spot?"

They were out the door before he could turn to confront them.