Disclaimer: I own nothing that is vampire academy.
Chapter 1
Rose POV
I walked towards the guest house with a little bit of nervous fear. What would Adrian say when I told him? Would he break up with me? Would he call me a whore? Or would he stay by my side?
It had been a couple of weeks since I'd gotten back from Russia. I was about to be readmitted into the school. But that was about to be put on hold with the news I had to tell Adrian. I should probably go back and explain.
~Flashback~
I was in Lissa's room, talking and such. I felt nauseous as hell. I didn't want to worry Lissa though, so I just didn't tell her. But pretty soon, I just went and puked in the trash can.
Dhampirs and moroi barely ever get sick. But I just told Lissa I had a bug and went to my room in the guest housing. Of course she followed me.
I lied down on my bed and relaxed. She sat by me in the bed. The nausea had gone away as soon as I puked.
I fell asleep thinking LIssa would leave when she wanted. I woke up at three and puked again. Lissa was still in my room sitting in a chair. "You're going to see Dr. Olendzky. Now."
Even though I protested, she practically dragged me down there. That's where I found out. The one thing I didn't think possible. I was pregnant.
~End Flashback~
Which brings us back to me going to tell Adrian. He needed to know. Even though it wasn't his, he needed to know. The only person who I'd ever slept with was Dimitri Belikov, and he was in Russia. But more than that, he was strigoi. I wasn't scared very often, but I was now. Scared for myself of course, but more so the baby. I'd been kicked and hit everywhere including my stomach. Plus I had been Dimitri's blood whore!
I was close to tears as I knocked on the door. I was a little early for Adrian time. Lissa wouldn't let me put it off for fear that I'd never tell him. So I was surprised when he answered.
"Little dhampir, what brings you to my cave?" Then he saw my face. "What's wrong?" He ushered me in with some crap about kicking someone's ass. He knew that if someone's ass needed kicked I'd do it myself.
I sat down on his couch. He sat by me and put his arms around me. I melted into his embrace more than I thought I ever could.
"I'm pregnant," I whispered. It was more to myself than to Adrian.
"What?"
"I said I'm pregnant," I practically shouted at him. "And the father might as well be dead." I sobbed into his shirt.
The last time I'd cried, it had been with Dimitri. Sure he was an evil undead bloodsucker, but he was still there all the same. I could picture this moment with him now. Like he'd never been turned. It wouldn't have been like this. He would have held me, sure. But I wouldn't be scared shitless, wondering what I'm going to do without him.
Now, technically it's impossible to have a kid with another dhampir. But I'm shadow kissed, so obviously those rules don't apply.
Adrian held me like that for twenty minutes. My tears had long since dried. I was about to fall asleep when there was a knock on the door. I let Adrian up and sat back down on the couch as he answered it.
It was Mason! Now I realized that he was supposed to be dead, but still, all my feelings that I'd had for him came rushing back. Even though I loved Adrian, even though I still loved Dimitri and was carrying his baby, all my feelings for Mason came back.
I jumped up and ran towards him. I jumped into his arms screaming, "Mason!" He caught me for a moment, and put me back down.
"Rose." It was as if he was trying to get me to pay attention.
Adrian put his hand on my shoulder and I turned around to look at him. His face showed the most concern I'd ever seen on him. I turned back towards Mason. But he had disappeared. In his place was his best friend, Eddie Castile. He looked at me with almost as much concern as Adrian. "Rose, you know as well as I do that Mason's dead."
Reality basically slapped me in the face. Everything came back, the pain of losing him, the guilt. I turned around and buried my face back into Adrian's chest. I cried again while he held me. I'm not sure how many times I cried that week, but it had been a lot. I cried until I puked. I caught a glimpse of Eddie's face. He didn't know how to react to me randomly bursting into tears as I just had or me seeing Mason.
My tears dried and Eddie finally got to why he'd come here. "Alberta wants to talk to you," he told me.
I nodded and tried to leave still clinging to Adrian. He tried to let go so I looked back at him. "I have a few things to take care of." He looked pointedly at my stomach. I let go and left for Alberta's office.
I should've known Adrian wouldn't leave. But I still feel like he was going to. I pushed that out of my mind. Instead, I thought about Mason. He hadn't risen in my thoughts much after his ghost moved on. Why had I thought of him now? Was there a reason? Or was I just crazy?
The last thought filled me with the most dread. I didn't want to be crazy. It meant the shadows had won. That I wasn't right. I pushed that train of thought away and took another one.
I had run straight into Mason's arms. Even with Adrian there. Was that just because he's supposed to be dead? Probably. I still felt guilty for his death. I still thought I could've saved him. Damn strigoi. They'd taken everything from me. Including… Dimitri.
Tears spilled onto my cheeks. I still loved him so much. And I missed him so much more. Don't get me wrong, I loved Adrian too. But it was nothing compared to how much I loved Dimitri.
I touched my stomach. Our child will grow up fatherless. True, it was how most dhampirs were raised, but I hadn't ever planned to get pregnant in the first place. Let alone be a single mother.
I got to the door of the guardian building. I wiped my tears and headed through the door. My future was at stake. I couldn't afford to think about him now. The guardian mask I've worked on slipped into place as I walked into Alberta's office.
I went and sat in the chair in front of her desk. As always, she got right to the point. "You can't do your combat classes anymore. So I want you to teach a couple classes in those periods." My face started to blush. Of course Alberta already knew. "Dr. Olendzky told me. He would've made a great father."
There was no need for her to elaborate on who he was. I already knew. It was Dimitri. All of a sudden it felt like I was watching him fall into the Ob with my stake in his chest. I saw him falling into the dark water and half of me wanted to jump in after him.
That's where my control slipped. I clutched at my stomach and sobbed as I rocked back and forth. There was a banging sound and my head stared to hurt. My vision started to blur.
Alberta grabbed my shoulders and I realized I had been hitting my head on her desk. Hard. "Doing that won't bring him back. It won't even erase the memories. It'll only hurt you. How are you going to raise a child after that?"
Slowly, I came back to myself, sniffling instead of the loud sobs. Alberta sat back at her desk, convinced I wasn't going to start that again. Technically, Dimitri wasn't dead (even though I tried to kill him). But for all intents and purposes he was. There were two huge laws of nature that nobody questioned. Moroi were good, living, and were born. Strigoi were evil, undead, and made.
"Now," Alberta said cautiously, "I want you to teach the basics to the seventh graders during first and third. This will eliminate your actual combat time." She hesitated for a second. "How is the baby anyway?"
"Fine." Dr. Olendzky had checked to make sure. I still worried though. That everything that'd happened would come back to haunt me with there being something wrong with wrong with my child.
"Well you start school back up on Monday." I nodded and got up to leave. It was Thursday. I had a couple days. 'Wait a minute." I turned back towards her and she handed me an envelope. I was pretty sure who it was from.
"Thanks… for everything." She nodded. I headed out towards my own room. My emotions were so fucked up from hormones lately. I cried a lot and I got mad at Lissa of all people. Just because she said she wouldn't go with me to tell Adrian. And I mean really mad. Like I had said a few things that from anyone else would've made her cry.
I changed my course and headed for her dorm. I needed to apologize. I hurried and got there pretty quickly. I banged on the door. She let me in. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry."
She looked at me confused. Then she got it. "Oh, about earlier? Forget about it." She hugged me. "Just as long as you and your baby are okay."
"Liss I'm fine. And so is baby Ivashkov." Lissa didn't know Dimitri was the father. I didn't really feel like correcting her.
She smiled and then it dropped. "What's that bruise on your head from?"
"It's nothing."
"It's not nothing. You were hitting your head against things again weren't you?" I didn't say anything. This had been going on since I had gotten back. "Shit Rose. It's not going to erase the memories. It's just gonna make you mentally retarded. Then who's gonna protect me?"
I had to admit she had a point. But usually I didn't even realize when I did it. "I can't stop. Half the time I don't know I did it 'til I see a bruise on my head."
She sighed in defeat. "Adrian's gonna kick your ass."
I smiled. "If he can catch it."
We both laughed. Talking seemed like the best thing in the world right now, but Lissa had other plans. "I'm going to meet Christian."
"Christian?"
"Yeah. He's finally talking to me. Hopefully it'll stay that way." I could hear the longing for him in her voice as well as through the bond. She wanted so much to be more than friends with Christian Ozera. She wanted him back romantically. She wanted to be back by his side. She hated Avery Lazar to the ends of the universe for breaking them up. Maybe if things work out between them, they'll make up and be back in bed together, having make-up sex.
The last thought of hers made me shiver. I really didn't like experiencing that. It was always weird and awkward. I did kind of like Christian and he made her happy. But really, did they have to have make-up sex? I didn't say any of this to Lissa.
We left her dorm and parted ways. I went on to my room where I finally opened the envelope Alberta had given me. Just as I had expected, it was from Dimitri.
Dear Roza,
I can't wait 'til we meet again. It'll be a waste to kill you
but I'm afraid you've made that inevitable.
At least your blood tastes good.
Love,
Dimitri
I felt somewhat relieved. It was just another death threat. He didn't know about the baby. I was afraid he'd been able to taste it in my blood. So long as my baby had a future, I could handle my own death threat. The nausea came up once again and I ran to the bathroom. Puking never felt good. But it was better than feeling sick.
Suddenly, someone was holding my hair out of my face. I was pretty sure it was Adrian. But for the moment it could have been a strigoi and I wouldn't have really cared. I rinsed my mouth out and turned to see my intruder. As expected it was Adrian.
"Hey."
"Hey." He wrapped his arms around me. I melted into them. Again, I was surprised by how much I was able to. I about started to cry again but I stopped myself. I was about to be a guardian. I couldn't always be crying. "What's that?" He motioned to Dimitri's letter I still held in my hand.
"Nothing. Just another letter from Dimitri."
"Another death threat?" I just nodded. He hugged me tighter and let go. He grabbed my hand and led me over to my bed. I was cautious but allowed myself to be pulled down beside him. "Little dhampir, I've got to ask… Who's this baby's father that according to you might as well be dead?"
Was he really asking me this? I answered him and put as much sarcasm as I could into it. "Oh you know, Jesse Zeklos." Adrian blanched but nodded. I could tell he was trying not to judge. "I'm kidding. Can you not understand sarcasm?"
His color returned. "Then who is the father?"
"Do you really have to ask?"
"Me?"
"Adrian, unless you raped me in my sleep, we've never had sex."
"Then who?"
I let out an exasperated breath. He really didn't know. "Dimitri you dumbass."
He raised an eyebrow at that last comment. I didn't care. I was starting to get angry. "But Dimitri was a dhampir."
"Yeah."
"And you're a dhampir."
"Obviously."
"Two dhampirs can't have kids." Yeah, he was definitely pissing me off.
"I'm just that good. I'm special. Don't judge me!" Tears started to leak out of my eyes for no reason what so ever. This pregnancy was a bitch.
He pulled me back in his arms. "I wasn't judging you. I'm just trying to make sense of this." He seemed panicked to have made me cry. I almost laughed. At least that stopped my tears. I fell asleep like that.
I was back on the bridge over the Ob. I had just staked Dimitri and he was falling down to the black depths of the river. My heart broke and I almost hurled myself in after him. Two hands grabbed my shoulders. "Let me go!" I struggled to get out of my captor's arms.
"No Roza. I can't let you go." I stopped struggling. It was his voice. I would know that voice anywhere. Whether he was strigoi or not. But there was nothing strigoi in his voice. There was no malice or sarcasm, just pain and worry… and love.
I turned around to face him. I was right, it was Dimitri. But how? I'd just pushed him into the river. I looked at his face. There was no red in his eyes. And when he smiled there were no fangs. I hurled myself into his arms and began to cry. It didn't matter that it was supposed to be impossible. Dimitri was back. He was no longer strigoi.
He wrapped his arms around me. I felt complete. "I've missed you so much Roza," he whispered against my shoulder.
"You've had me."
"No, he has." He motioned toward the river.
I leaned against him. I couldn't believe he was here. But if the strigoi was still in the river, that meant he wasn't really here. He was a ghost. I cried even harder. "You're dead aren't you?"
He nodded. "My body may still live, but when you staked him, you released me."
"The strigoi is still alive?"
"Yes my Roza. But you can't save him. You have to live without me for you, for me… and for our daughter." He put his hand over my stomach. If there was any way I could cry harder, I would have.
"If you're a ghost, why can I touch you and talk to you?"
"Because, we're in a dream." Everything came crashing back; the rest of that night, the last couple weeks, my baby.
"So none of this is real." I should have known.
"I'm real. I wanted to talk to you so much, I ended up in your dream just as you were about to jump." He shook his head. "You need to live without me. I'll be in your dreams every so often, but you need to move on, for our daughter's sake. For our daughter's sake, be with Adrian, and I'll be here for you when you need me."
"But I need you now, in the real world. Our daughter needs you."
"I know. But I can't come to the real world. You'll be fine. The baby will be fine. Adrian will raise her well. I know he will. But don't go looking for my body, Roza. If he comes and finds you, kill him. Please… for me." I couldn't speak so I just nodded my head and hugged him Dimitri really tight. "I have to go. You're waking up."
I woke to the familiar feeling of being healed. I sat up and stared into Adrian's green eyes. I could see the disappointment hidden in their mesmerizing depths.
"What?"
"You've been hitting your head against things again haven't you?" He took my silence as a confirmation. "Damn it Rose! What was it this time? A wall? A table?"
"Alberta's desk," I whispered it but his superior hearing picked it up.
He raised an eyebrow. "Well at least it's better than what you did when you first got back." He glanced down at my wrists for a second and looked back up at me. Yeah, I'd cut my wrists. But I wasn't trying to die. I just didn't want to cry anymore. I was sick of it and the pain stopped the tears from coming. But Lissa, Adrian, and Alberta didn't believe me. Considering they were deeper than even Lissa used to do, I can somewhat see how they wouldn't believe me.
"I wasn't-"
"I know. I know. You weren't trying to kill yourself. But, Rose, it could have. And so can this. Please, for me, for our child. Stop."
"Adrian-"
"No. I don't care if Belikov is the biological father. This child is mine in all the ways that count. And it will have the name of Ivashkov." He seemed to think over his words. "That is… if you want it to have the name of Ivashkov. If you don't, I understand."
I kissed him to stop his rambling. "I would love for her to have the name of Ivashkov." He smiled and kissed me. Then he pulled back.
"We're having a girl?" I smiled back at him.
"We're having a girl."
He picked me up off the bed, kissed me again, and twirled me around. Adrian liked to be dramatic. That much I could tell. But even I was surprised when he started to sing From This Moment by Shania Twain. Don't ask how I know that song in the first place. I just did.
Honestly, I didn't have anything against country music anymore. I'd started listening to it since I got back, probably to feel closer to Dimitri. So long as it's not one of the gay ones like Big Green Tractor I was fine. But I had to be like Rose Hathaway, cuz I am Rose Hathaway. So naturally, I smacked Adrian's shoulder and yelled, "Don't be singin' country Ivashkov!"
Adrian just laughed and said, "Don't act like you don't like it little dhampir. I've heard you singing Rascal Flatts the past week." Damn. I had.
"That doesn't mean you can sing it. I never imagined you'd be into country."
"My mom used to listen to it. It grew on me. How 'bout you? About a month ago you'd rather take on a pack of strigoi than listen to it. Let alone sing it." He looked at me curiously.
"Dimitri used to listen to it. I guess it grew on me too."
Adrian nodded. I kissed him again and that was the end of any conversation we were having. The kiss went from sweet to hot and intense in a matter of seconds. HE found the hem of my shirt and pulled it up over my head. I had a moment of déjà vu. This was a lot like what happened with Jesse.
I pulled away from Adrian's mouth. He didn't seem to mind. He trailed kisses along my neck. I tried to form a coherent thought. It was kind of hard. But I knew I wasn't ready to have sex with Adrian yet. It seemed to violate the baby in some way. I knew Adrian wouldn't think it necessary for him to use a condom. I was already pregnant. But it seemed to violate me and Dimitri's baby to have Adrian's cum up there.
"Adrian, stop." He broke from my neck and looked at me. I could see the lust in his eyes. But I could also see concern and love.
"Too fast?" I nodded. "Sorry. We won't do anything serious until you're ready."
I smiled but felt compelled to tell him my reasons. "Thanks, it's just that it feels wrong somehow to have your stuff up there with the baby. Like it's violating her. " I blushed. He kissed my head.
"Whatever your reasons we won't 'till you're ready." He got up and walked towards the bathroom.
"Where are you going?" I sounded whiney and he smiled.
"I've got to work off this major boner and since I can't do that by normal means, I'm left to my own devices."
"Okay. Ewwww. TMI. I'm sorry I asked." He laughed as he walked into the bathroom. "Make sure you wash your hands or I'm not touching you ever again!" That just made him laugh even harder.
I put my shirt on and looked at the clock on my nightstand. It was noon. Normal time for Adrian to be up. I heard the water running and hoped he used soap. He walked out in his boxers – they were purple hehe – and an undershirt.
"Now." He smiled. "Where were we?"
"Did you use soap?" He looked at me incredulously, but put his hands under my nose.
"Here, you see for yourself." I sniffed his hands and they smelled like soap.
"Okay. They're clean." He laughed and sat down with me on my bed. He kissed me and it was sweet. I kissed him back.
That was about as far as it went though, because the door opened then and I heard my mother yell, "Rosemarie Hathaway! What do you think you're doing?"
Adrian and I broke apart and I stared at my mother. "Kissing my boyfriend." She was already mad. Might as well be myself.
Janine strode up to us and grabbed my hand. "Excuse us Lord Ivashkov," she said to Adrian. Then she pulled me out of my room. "What was all that in there?"
"I told you. I was kissing my boyfriend. It wasn't like we were having sex." I crossed my arms over my chest.
"You were kissing him with him half naked. In another second you might have been having sex. Then what? You'd be pregnant and he'd leave you."
"What makes you so sure he'd leave me?"
"Because they always do."
"Well you're wrong." I was a little surprised at myself. I didn't really want to tell her right now. Oh well.
"What?"
"Adrian's not leaving me. He wants this baby and he wants me." I stared smugly into her shocked face. I'd caught her off guard.
"You're pregnant?"
"Did I not just imply that?" I was starting to get angry.
Adrian's arms encircled me and he whispered, "Calm, little dhampir."
"I am calm."
"No, you're not. Just go back to your room. I'll talk to your mother." I walked back in and stared at the door. Adrian would make everything better.
~3 Years and Some Odd Months Later~
Adrian POV
"Alexandreah quit running! You're going to fall!" I watched as my little girl slid across the hardwood floor in her socks. She stuck her tongue out at me and ran towards the kitchen.
I chased after her. I caught her in a fit of giggles just before she could hit her head on the counter. My other little girl, Izabella, was sitting at the table eating chocolate ice cream in nothing… at all. How did she even get the ice cream down in the first place? The wonders of a one year old.
"Izzy, now I'm going to have to give you anotherbath." She shook her head. I sighed and looked out the window. We ran on a human schedule and it was dark out. Rose would be home in about twenty minutes. She didn't need to come home to this mess. I picked up Izzy and put the ice cream away and the spoon in the sink.
I went into the living room and turned on the TV, changing the channel until it was on Nick Jr. "Lexy, come watch TV while I give your sister another bath." She came and flopped on the couch.
Time for Izabella's second bath. This child was covered in chocolate. I went into the bathroom downstairs and ran her water. As I tried to put her in she fought me as usual. Finally, I got her in and clean. But then she didn't want to get out. It took some arguing, but I got her out. I put a towel around her and she was off running.
"Izabella Lynn Ivashkov, Where are your clothes?" I smiled. Rose was home. I walked out of the bathroom carrying her clothes and diaper.
Rose had her wrapped in a towel and was holding her like a baby. She took Izzy's clothes from me and went to dress her on the couch.
Izzy might have been small but she was no baby. She was six months away from being two. But the very next birthday was Alexandreah's. She was turning three tomorrow.
That's what Rose had been doing. Setting up her party. "Guess what we did today mommy." Lexy was quick to grab her mother's attention.
"What's that honey?" She was bouncing Izzy on her lap.
"We went to see Grandma today."
Rose raised her eyebrows and looked at me. "Really?"
"He wasn't there." I reasoned with her. She didn't like my father and didn't want the kids around him. It wasn't without reason. My father was abusive.
Rose seamed to relax and smiled back down at Izzy. She looked about ready to fall asleep. I picked her up. "Give me my baby back."
"She needs to sleep in her own bed or she'll be like Lexy used to be."
She grabbed hold of Lexy and hugged her tight. "Then I get this one." I shook my head.
"No, I do. She's gotta sleep too."
Rose pouted at me. I leaned down and kissed her. She kissed me back while Lexy made gagging noises. "Okay. But has she been to the feeder?" I nodded. "And you?" I nodded again.
"Don't you trust me after three years to feed our daughter and myself?" She nodded and I led the girls upstairs. I put Izzy in her crib first and turned Barney on the TV we kept in her room. Then I took Lexy to her room. "What do you want to watch Princess?"
"Hmmm… Blue's Clues." She clapped like it was a royal command. Well she was royal, but still.
I turned on the tape and kissed her on her forehead. "Goodnight Baby Girl." I turned off the light.
"Goodnight Daddy." I felt the tears come to my eyes as I shut the door. I always got kind of emotional every time she called me Daddy. Even after three years it still had this effect on me. She was Dimitri's child. There was no question. The color of her eyes, her personality, they were all his. I even heard her cuss in Russian the other day. I think Abe taught her that. And since Dimitri and Rose were both dhampirs, Alexandreah was full moroi. Some people said I had an affair though it didn't make sense.
I went back downstairs. Rose was at the bottom waiting for me. "Lord Ivashkov."
"Lady Ivashkov." I smiled. This was an every other night thing. Pretty soon we'd be up in our room, doing things that should only be done when the kids are asleep. I picked her up in my arms and kissed her long and hard. She pulled back to breathe and I trailed kisses down her neck.
"Adrian." I could hear the smile in her voice.
"Yeah?" I mumbled against her neck.
"I've got a surprise for you."
"What is it?"
"I'm pregnant again."
I lifted my head from her neck to look into her eyes. "Seriously?" She nodded. I picked her up and twirled her around and kissed her.
Rose POV
"I have another surprise for you."
"And what is that?"
"I'm five months along." Adrian's jaw dropped open.
"You didn't think about telling me for five months?"
"Nope. But honestly, I just found out yesterday. I guess I just refused to acknowledge it."
"Oh well." He kissed me again. I was about to suggest we go upstairs when I heard Alexandreah scream.
"Mommy!" I ran. Adrian was right behind me. I made it to my baby girl's room and busted the door open. Standing over her was my worst nightmare. Dimitri.
I didn't hesitate. I punched him in the face and grabbed my stake. Adrian went and grabbed Alexandreah from her bed and took her out of the room. Dimitri tried to follow him. I kicked him and he turned towards me. "She's mine!"
"No! She's mine! You didn't give birth to her. You didn't raise her!" He punched me in the stomach really hard and turned to go out the door. I got up through the pain and drove the stake through his unprotected back and through his heart. He went stiff and fell as I fell to my knees.
Between my legs was wet and my stomach hurt. No, I couldn't lose my baby. "Adrian!" I was crying when he burst through the door way. HE stepped over Dimitri's body. "The baby." He took me in his arms and raced me to the car.
He left for a few seconds and came back with Izabella and an unconscious Alexandreah. He put them in their car seats and started the car. He drove to the nearest moroi hospital. "Lexy baby, please wake up. Please, for mommy. Lexy! Alexandreah Daniella Ivashkov! Wake up!" She was still unconscious. The tears were flowing hard now. I patted her face. "Lexy, please baby, please. You need to wake up."
"Rose." I didn't listen. I turned Lexy's head to the side and there were bite marks. I about puked. A huge pain hit me in the stomach which made everything that much worse. "Rose, she's breathing. She'll be alright." I didn't believe him.
How could he do this to her? He was her father. He might have been strigoi but he was still her father.
We got to the hospital and rushed in. Adrian had to make Izabella walk so that he could carry Lexy. He went up to the receptionist. "She's pregnant and got punched in the stomach by a strigoi." They pushed me into a wheel chair and rushed me off to a room.
I ended up giving birth to a baby boy. He wasn't crying. Not even after they smacked his bottom would he make a sound. He wasn't even breathing. After five minutes they pronounced him a stillborn and looked at me with pity. I was crying so hard snot was pouring out of my nose.
They finally let Adrian in and left us to be alone with a promise to be back in fifteen minutes. Adrian took one look at my face and dropped to my knees. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. I fought through the tears to ask the question on my mind. "Where's Lexy? Please tell me she's alright."
"She's fine. The nurse has her and Izzy in the waiting room." He tried to dry his tears. It didn't work. He lost his first baby boy. "I shouldn't have left you there."
"No. You got Lexy out of there. You did what you should have." I took him in my arms. We were at a hospital inside the court. There were wards everywhere. I felt a little safer. But as our house also had wards, it didn't really mean anything. Dimitri had broken them. "If only I hadn't hesitated."
"What?"
"In Russia, when Dimitri found me, I hesitated. If I hadn't, none of this would have happened." Adrian hugged me tighter.
"It's not your fault."
My phone started ringing. It was Lissa. "Hello?" My voice barely broke but she still heard it.
"What's wrong?" She had a good ear.
"Just come here. We're at the hospital at court."
"I'll be there in five." We hung up. I got up and back into my jeans despite Adrian's protests. I didn't see any reason to keep them off. I looked over at the lifeless body of my son. He was tiny, maybe fifteen inches long. I laid my hand on his cold body and cried. I felt Adrian's arm around my waist and saw him put his hand on his son. There was a golden glow on the palm of his hand as he tried to force life into him by using spirit. It didn't work. After three minutes, I put my hand on his arm and looked up at his face.
"You're going to wear yourself out. It's not working anyway."
He took me fully in his arms. "I'm sorry. What's the point of this magic if I can't save my own son?"
"They help other people." He let go of me and we cried over his body. "Zachariah."
"What?"
"His name is Zachariah… Zachariah Lee Ivashkov." I picked him up and held him tight. I didn't ever want to let go. I whispered in his ear, "I love you. I'll always love you. I hope you find my first love. I know he'll take good care of you."
Adrian tried to take him from me. "NO!" I clung to Zachariah until he gave up. "I can't leave him. He didn't get to know my touch."
"Rose, he's gone. He can't feel your touch" I could see the tears in his eyes. For once, I didn't care.
"Yes he can! He'll wake up for me. Won't you Zack? You'll wake up for your mommy." I was hysterical. What I was saying didn't make sense. I knew that, but I still clung to his lifeless body.
I felt as soon as Lissa entered the room. Her first reaction was happiness. Then she had a closer look at the boy I was holding. She was filled with sympathy and pain. All my kids were like nieces and nephews to her.
She came over and tried to heal him just as Adrian had. And just like when Adrian did it, it didn't work. Christian put his hand on her shoulder. "It's not going to work."
Lissa turned around and sobbed into his shoulder. Adrian finally got Zachariah away from me and put him back down. I sobbed into Adrian's shoulder.
That's what the doctor walked into. He walked right up to me and Adrian. "Lord and Lady Ivashkov, your daughter has slipped into a coma caused by the strigoi endorphins in her system. I'm sorry. She's in the room next door." I ran. My baby. I knew there was something wrong when she wouldn't wake up.
I grabbed Lexy's shoulders and shook her. "Wake up! Lexy! Wake up! Please. You have to wake up. My baby. Please."
"Stop!" Adrian grabbed ahold of me and pulled me away. "You're hurting her."
I pulled away from him and cried into Lexy's tiny chest. It was my entire fault. I shouldn't have hesitated. Why was I so weak?
Adrian pulled me away and into his lap in a chair next to Lexy. I laid my head back against his chest and stared up at the ceiling. What kind of mother was I? I let my baby get hurt by her father.
I knew Dimitri wasn't really there. That's why I was able to actually kill him. But I let his body hurt our baby. I looked back down at Lexy and almost lost it again. But I kept my tears in. I was a guardian for Christ's sake. I shouldn't be crying all the time.
Alexandreah POV
Daddy had just shut my door. I snuggled under my blanket and turned back towards the TV. It was unusually cold in my room. I looked over my window. I was closed.
I'd have to tell Daddy my room's too cold. He'd fix it. Maybe he'd make uncle Christian sleep with me. (A/N: Actually sleep you guys. Remember she's three.) I smiled and looked back at the TV. We just had the tapes of Blues Clues. Not the DVD's because the tapes have Steve in them. Steve is so much better than Joe.
It got colder and I looked back at the window. Someone was standing in front of it. He was tall, about as tall as any moroi if not a little taller. His skin took on the colors coming off the TV. That meant he was extremely pale.
"Who are you?" In his cold voice I could hear a faint Russian accent. He moved forward and I saw the telltale red around each pupil. This man was strigoi.
I screamed, "Mommy!" The strigoi put his hand over my mouth, bent down, and bit me His bite triggered a rush so high, I felt like I was flying. I was the happiest I've ever been. I started to get dizzy and I passed out.
The darkness wasn't much better. In fact, it was worse. The rush was gone and, as I said, it was dark. I'd always hated the dark. It was why I slept with the TV on.
I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't even hear anything. It wasn't like I was sleeping. There were no dreams. There was no oblivion I was just there, sitting in blackness
I started crying in the darkness that was now my reality. Where was my daddy? Surely he and mommy were trying to get me back. I wanted my daddy. I wanted my mommy I wanted my uncle Christian and aunt Lissa. I wanted Izzy. Heck I even wanted that asshole that bit me. Sure he was strigoi, but somebody would be here. (A/N: Lexy is a little more mature for her age because she is a product of two dhampirs with one of them being shadow kissed. Her vocabulary was supplied by Ibrahim Mazur.)
Suddenly, I was no longer in the dark. I thought I could finally see, until I noticed that I didn't recognize where I was. I was sitting on a thick mat that had been beat up. I looked around and saw what looked like a gym.
As if my mind had conjured him, the guy that bit me was standing a few feet away from me. I stood up and wiped my eyes and nose with my sleeve. The red rings in his eyes were gone. He was tan and when he smiled, his fangs were gone too. He was no longer strigoi.
I still didn't trust him though. The guy had bitten me and sent me to this hell hole. He started walking towards me. I backed up until I hit the bleachers and I fell backwards.
Someone picked me up. I knew it was the tall guy. Nobody else was here. I kicked and screamed, but he just got a better hold on me. Why wouldn't mommy teach me to fight? I could have beaten him by now.
"(Russian for 'let me go you fucking asshole)." I'd slipped into Russian. Great. But the tall guy understood it
"Who taught you that?"
I just laughed at him. He didn't need to know who taught me what. I recognized something about this man. His eyes were familiar, the color of his hair. These were all familiar things even though I had never met this man before in my life. "Who are you?"
"I'm Dimitri Belikov. Lexy, I'm your father." (A/N: to all the people who caught that hint to Star Wars and didn't hate me, I give you virtual cookies.)
"No you're not." I couldn't believe this guy was lying to me.
"Yes I am."
"No you're not! Adwian Mitchel Ivashkov is my daddy!" Leave me be. I can't really pronounce my 'r's right.
"Alexandreah Daniella Belikov-" What did he just call me?
"My last name is Ivashkov! You got that? I-vash-kov"
"I can't believe I'm arguing with a three year old."
He sat me down on the bench next to him. I crossed my arms and stared at the wall across from me. This was bullshit. I was stuck here with a lying ex-strigoi and. Adrian was my daddy, not this asshole.
Maybe if I ran fast enough, I could get away from Dimitri and go find my daddy. I really should've known that wasn't a good plan. But hey, I was three and this guy was creeping me out.
The farthest I got, was off the bleachers. Then he grabbed me again. "Lexy please, just listen to what I'm saying. Haven't you ever wondered why you're moroi?" Actually no, I hadn't. I just figured it's 'cuz mommy's shadow kissed. "Didn't you notice you didn't look like Adrian?" I crossed my arms over my chest again and stuck my bottom lip out and let it quiver. Tears started to fill my eyes. This worked on everybody. They couldn't stand to see me cry. "That won't work on me. Your mother did it to me all the time." I cranked up the water works and even let out a sob. It took a few minutes but he finally picked me up and whispered in my ear, "I'm sorry, but it's the truth. Your mother didn't wasn't to tell you this early. She wanted to wait until you were at least ten. But it's out now. It could be better this way. At least you're not sitting in that dark hole anymore."
"D-dark hole?" I stuttered.
"That's what I call it anyway. I brought you here. This is just a made-up world inside your mind."
"How do I get out of it?"
"Wake up." He made it sound so simple.
Okay so this is a new story that I wrote forever ago. Like way before Four of Them. I tried to change some of this to my new and improved style of writing but most of the old words and sentence structure is there. But this is soooooooo long and obviously was handwritten forever ago. It took me about a week to type this. This will be finished but it won't be until after Unexpected Father is finished or something comes into my mind and forces me to write it. I have a Mortal Instruments fic partially written but I don't really want to upload it because that's just too much to be uploaded and unfinished. Please forgive me for my random author's notes in the story. I just felt things had to be explained. Hope you enjoy it. Happy Easter. REVIEW! ^^
