Err hello ^^
This is actually my first fanfiction and I'm a bit nervous to tell the truth.. It's very different than my usual style and is short in my opinion ^^'' but of course I have read much shorter XD
This is pretty much going from what happened in the beginning and what is happening in the manga now ^^ but don't worry. It doesn't exactly spoil anything ^^
I hated the sound of you walking away
Sasuke-kuuunnnn~ What are you doing today?
Hn
Uhm.. Well do you want to have lunch together? I packed a bento made especially for you!
No
Oh..well then tomorrow!
You just kept on getting farther away from me. Walking away even without leaving. Our small relationship fading with everyday I knew you. I guess there never was a relationship. I never was that close to you, although I hate to admit it, Naruto probably knew you better than I ever have. No, not probably, definitely. He knew you better than anyone did. Maybe even better then you knew yourself.
But still, I can barely help the tearing in my heart that I felt when you took those last steps out of the village. The steps leading you closer to revenge and farther from hope. Those steps…they were so loud, booming in my ears and rattling my heart, I could hear the footsteps even when I was unconscious and each step made me hurt even more, making my heart feel like it was falling apart.
That pain…. I had never felt anything like that… not even when I thought you were dead.. this was worse… but that love I felt for you.. was it real? Thinking back, I was only I kid..
I almost hate myself these days when I think back to when I was younger. Hopelessly in love with a pretty face that I barely even knew, never knowing what was going on behind your eyes, or what had happened in the past, and never even wanting to know… maybe that's why I never bothered to ask? But now… maybe… Have I grown? At least a little?
I hope so and I like to believe I have. I no longer want to push everything down just to have you. I know no matter what that I can't. You need to make the decision to come back on your own. Maybe when you do I can ask you some things, and learn about you enough to be proud of my love for you and not disgusted by it.
It still hurts to think of all the people you betrayed and how much you hurt Naruto and me, but I suppose I never really had a place in your life. You probably cant even count your leaving as betraying me.. After all, did you ever think of me more than a teammate? Did you even think of me as that?
Looking at Naruto now, he looks like he's in pain… do you know what you're doing to him? He was your friend.. no matter how much you two fought and competed, you two were best friends. I could see it when you looked at each other. You were both happy, you needed each other to get stronger. Is that one of the reasons you left? You were too close? Or are you still deluding yourself into believing that he was in your way, an obstacle that needed to be avoided, needed to be conquered?
I can't even guess at what's going through your head… what had ever gone through your head. I don't know you anymore, and neither does Naruto.
So why…. Why do I still want you back? Why am I forcing Naruto to hurt himself for my own selfish reasons? Why am I still making him fight to get you back? I want to just tell him to stop it all. To give up, you'll never come back, he'll only hurt himself. But would it really make a difference? No… he wouldn't stop even if I told him… but… I just can't stand it. Making him fight for you- no, a stranger to come back. Sasuke died a long time ago, the day he joined Orochimaru, he's the one that killed the Sasuke I knew, the Sasuke we all knew, or at least, pretended to in my case…
I think I know what to do.. how to stop him from going after that stranger.. I just have to lie a little and he'll be fine.. he won't hurt anymore… and I won't have to cry from seeing his hopeless struggles.
Sasuke-kun.. I loved you at one time.. but not now.. not now that you hurt Naruto so much…
Thinking back, you still hurt him… so many times.. so why was I okay with it then and not now? The pain you caused him. I think… that when you left.. that pain in my heart from the footsteps. That pain I had never felt before that felt like death. Maybe it wasn't something bad at all. Maybe it was something pure, but strong. Maybe it might have been happiness..
Happiness from future thoughts, maybe my heart knew something my brain didn't. Maybe it knew Naruto wouldn't be hurt anymore. Wouldn't have to keep trying to get closer to you, or try to get past that barrier you kept up. Those footsteps made my heart realize all that.
That sound that echoed in my ears… it made me happy. Even if I didn't realize it at the time, The sound of you leaving brought hope.
I loved the sound of you walking away
It would be very helpful to me if you would review ^^ I am very self conscious of my own work and right now can't decide if this was absolutely horrible or not :0
