Hello everyone, I have been working on that fiction for a long time now. You have to know that it takes place in a completely different universe which I fully made up. The characters are not mine but the rest of the story is.
Warnings: Bad language, slurs, violence, homophobia, smut, fluff, a lot of angst (sorry about that guys), mention of previous characters death, possible character death (not necessarily major) and additional tags to be added later probably.
Anyway, I finally decided to post the first chapter and the next ones should come very soon. This has to be the most ambitious thing I've ever written and I couldn't wait to share it with you all. So here you go! I hope you enjoy!
By the way, the territories' names are enochian translations, more or less accurate I'm afraid.
Nanta: Earth
Caelum: Heaven
Matastos: Hell
Ors: Purgatory
When Castiel was thirteen, his whole life changed for the worst. He remembered this day perfectly, he still had regular nightmares about it. Nights where he woke up panting and panicked, crying most of the time and tangled in his sheets as the fabric sticked to his skin because of the sweat. He hated those nights, and he usually never managed to fall back asleep when that happened. That meant he only got between three and four hours of sleep when he had to work hard for an entire day after.
The dream always began the same way, just like in his memory.
He was fighting with his brother, Gabriel. It was not a serious fight, of course, but a training. Angels were trained for battle as soon as they were able to hold a blade without cutting themselves. Castiel and his siblings were no exceptions. Especially since the word of a coming war was spreading within the country. It was well known that the kingdom of angels, Caelum and the one of demons, Matastos were in bad terms. This conflict dated back to centuries but never had the situation been so deplorable. For years, angels and demons had had verbal confrontations and had sent threats to each other. But now, things were evolving, moving and they were slowly heading toward a war. In their village, people were talking, passing on frightening whispers. They kept saying that towns on the borders always got hit first. Some of them seriously thought about leaving to move to a safer place, closer to the capital city. Some of them actually did leave.
And Castiel was terrified. Which of course only encouraged his brother to laugh at him. If he listened to Gabriel, everyone was stupid and they always found pretexts to slug it out. He had to admit he wasn't always wrong but he also liked to think that everybody wasn't like that. It was one of Castiel's main flaws, he gave his trust too easily and even though his mother liked to say he always saw the best in people, it also often meant he couldn't see the worst. Of course, he was still young, and he had time to learn but never would he have imagined that his childhood and innocence would end so baldly.
Anna was picking up flowers just next to the ring of soil he and Gabriel had created to delimit their training area when it had happened. Castiel got distracted looking at his little sister and his brother took advantage of it to sweep him off his feet. The boy fell on the ground with a dull thud and a groan of pain.
When he looked up, a wooden sword was pointed at his chest and Gabriel was grinning above him, visibly proud. "You lost again, baby bro."
Castiel pushed the tip of the weapon away from him and sighed irritatedly, taking the hand his brother was offering to help him get up.
"You're cheating." Cas protested.
Gabriel laughed. "I don't cheat. You just don't pay attention. And I'm more skilled, that's all."
The younger boy snorted and rolled his eyes, not accepting this as an excuse for a second.
"Oh, come on Cassie, don't pout." His brother ribbed and Castiel only looked away, vexed.
He felt something tug at his trousers leg and looked down to see Anna glancing up at him. "Castiel, don't be angry, please." She was handing him a small bouquet of the flowers she had been picking up and Cas felt his anger disappear.
"They're beautiful, thank you Anna." He smiled at her and patted her head gently. "And don't worry, I'm not angry, not really." He asserted with a sideways glare at Gabriel and a light smile.
His brother laughed. He laughed often. Castiel had always thought his laughter was a beautiful sound that he liked to hear. It was true, joyful and it meant that he was happy. He usually chortled when he managed to make a joke or play a trick on one of his two siblings. But this time, his laughter had died in his throat after a few seconds. Castiel remembered how confused he had been when he had seen his brother look at their house with eyes wide in horror, how puzzled he had been when he had turned around to see for himself. But most of all, he remembered how panic and terror had seized him all at once when he had seen the first murder.
Out of nowhere, soldiers had appeared, and invaded their small village. In a fraction of second, people were running out of their houses, pulling out their swords and blades, stretching their wings as an unnamed chaos had fallen on Castiel's world. He saw angels fight, he saw demons entirely dressed in black set their dwellings on fire. People of both sides were falling all around them, wings were carved in the ground, bodies were burned to ashes. But their ennemies had taken them aback and the angels were slowly losing territory very much to their opponents's advantage.
Castiel had barely been aware of Gabriel pulling his arm harshly, dragging him towards the woods. When he had managed to focus correctly on what his brother had been trying to say, he heard his name repeatedly. "Cassie! Castiel. Hey! Wake up damn it! We gotta get outta here!"
Gabriel brutally shook him by the shoulders, begging him to stay concentrated. And it's only when he saw his sister's expression that he forced himself to react. She looked lost, mouth open in pure shock and distress, and it broke Castiel's heart.
He pushed his brother away and told him to take Anna. Gabriel immediately reacted, as always. His brother might not have said it often and had a hard time showing it, but he cared about his family. And Castiel had always known that when the time would come, he would do the right thing. And it's exactly what he did. Despite Anna's screams and cries of protest, he shoved her on his back and started running.
Castiel ran beside them, throwing frantic and frightened looks around. They seemed to be safe, nobody had noticed them running away. But then had occurred the only thing that wasn't clear in Cas' memory. He remembered every details and yet, there was one thing he was confused about. How had it happened? He vaguely remembered Anna yelling and calling for their mom and dad, and Gabriel coldly telling her they were gone and never coming back. Castiel wondered why in such times his brother was still so inclined to use euphemisms to talk to their sister. She may have been eight, but her childhood just had ended savagely, like Castiel's. He didn't understand why it was so important to preserve whatever innocence she still had left when it was bound to be crushed sooner or later. Their parents were dead, their house was crumbling. Of course they were not coming back, that much was certain.
The thought brought tears in the boy's eyes but he quickly blinked them away. He couldn't cry, not now. He would have all the time he would possibly want to mourn his mother and father once they got to safety. He had to save what was left of his family, how little may that be. That's why he kept running, running, running. They sank into the forest, rushed between the trees, trying to escape whatever horrible death was waiting for them in their natal village. Gabriel somehow managed to calm Anna down, and she didn't say a word during the whole journey. But this journey had been short. Too short.
They hadn't realized that demons had arrived through the woods, and that those were still infested. Castiel stopped suddenly when one of them came to stand right in front of them, getting in their way, refusing them any possible escape. He had a knife, probably made of silver, and a mace covered in blood. Cas knew how to fight, of course, but he had never truly had an opponent who would be willing to take his life, besides, he was unarmed. He was far from being ready for a battle of this scale. Furthermore, Gabriel was carrying Anna and couldn't help him.
Castiel stayed still for more than a minute, frozen in fear as the demon was stepping forward.
"Castiel get back." He heard his brother warn.
The next thing he knew, Gabriel was beside him, Anna hiding behind his back as he pulled an angel blade out of his sleeve. They weren't allowed to keep them usually, but Cas was glad he had disobeyed. His brother had always managed to have what he wanted and was a very good thief, it had probably been easy for him to steal it.
Cas' scared voice resounded in the thick atmosphere. "Gabriel."
"Take Anna and run." Gabriel said as their sister tightened her grip on his shirt.
Castiel opened his mouth to protest but his brother had already jumped on the demon with a cry of rage, his blade cutting through the air. Cas knew he had to act fast and save Anna but he couldn't leave Gabriel.
"Shit Castiel, run!" He yelled again, pulling out his golden wings and trying to stab the demon who nimbly ducked to avoid the blows.
"No!" Anna shouted, but Castiel had already wrapped his arms around her and hauled her. He fought back the tears and the urge to look back. Even when he heard his brother groan in pain behind them, even when he hissed a death rattle, even when everything around them fell silent a few seconds later.
He kept running like his life depended on it, because it did. Ignoring the weak punches Anna was throwing in his chest, not caring about the tears streaming down his face.
"How could you? How could you leave him like that? You let him die, you let him die!" She sobbed in his shirt.
Castiel felt empty and wrecked but his sister shaking in his arms was the only thing making him go on. He wanted to give up, to die, let a demon find him and kill him but he couldn't let Anna down. Not after Gabriel, not after their parents, and all their friends in the village.
His feet hammered the ground, carrying them as fast as they possibly could. But that hadn't been enough, that had never been enough. Castiel remembered stumbling, he remembered falling. He could still hear his sister yelp in surprise as he tried to protect her with his body. He felt a flash of pain, felt his flesh tear apart, felt blood dribble down his temple. His vision blurred, his head spinning, as dizziness overwhelmed him. For a moment everything had been unclear and confused. His ears pounding, his heart racing in his chest as he clumsily tried to get up. When he looked up, what he saw froze him on spot.
"Anna!" He screamed, crawling towards her.
Her eyes were open and glassy, looking into nothingness. She had a nasty wound on her forehead. He had shaken her, prayed for her to wake up as he kept repeating her name over and over. They had fallen. He had made her fall. He had let go of her. He hadn't even been careful enough to check where he was stepping. They had rolled off a hill. She had hit her head harder than her body could handle. That's when he had started crying and falling apart.
That's also when he usually woke up, even four years later. He had no idea how he had once found the strength to leave Anna where she had died and found a way to get out of the woods to join Nanta, the human territory, but that's where he was today.
Tonight was identical to the last few hundred nights before.
Castiel rubbed his face to wipe the tears away, his body still trembling from the dream. He curled up on himself, drawing his knees near him and resting his forehead on them. He closed his eyes to calm down and breathed deeply. Every night, guilt and sadness overflew him, he was incredibly tired of it. Every evening he fought exhaustion with the same determination not to give in to sleep. And every time he lost.
He looked out of the window. A dimmed light was entering the room through the closed flaps. The sun was starting to rise and a beam caressed Castiel's toes, warming up his skin. He was lucky, he had managed to sleep until dawn.
With one last tired sigh, he threw his legs on the side of the bed and got up. He walked to his window and pulled the shutters, letting the soft warmth of the morning sun settle in his bedroom. Leaning on the rim, he looked up to the sky, stained of a light yellow announcing the beginning of the day. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, letting the sun help drying the tears on his cheeks. Today was going to be sunny, there were merely a few clouds in the sky.
He found it strange how the weather could have such a great impact on his mood. He had come to observe that when a day was to be rainy and gray, he found himself being morose and sad. Although, even when that happened, he never showed it. Never would he have dared to be sullen and grumpy with the person who had saved his life. He owed him a lot, if not everything, and had sworn to repay him.
Rufus Turner was a great man, and a fantastic baker. He had opened his arms to Castiel when he had seen him in the street, frozen and scared, bloody and ill. He had welcomed him in his house and offered him a hot meal. He had taken care of him for more than a week, making sure his fever reduced, that he ate his fill, that he was never cold anymore. He had listened to his stories and believed each and every one of them, even when Castiel had made them up completely, lying about the fact that he was an angel. He couldn't tell anyone he wasn't human, war refugees were never welcomed in a territory, for they could bring conflicts to their doors. In general, when two countries entered a confrontation, either they received help from others or they were considered wiped out from every map until they had set things right. Other kingdoms usually avoided to get involved in wars that weren't their own. Therefore, they chased away every intruder on their lands. Thankfully, Cas had read a lot of books in his short life and was well-informed on Humans situation and politic. Humans had always been a source of wonder for him, they tickled his curiosity with their ingenuity and cleverness. Of all species, they were the ones he found the most interesting, apart from his own. He knew a plague had hit them recently and had taken advantage of this piece of information to tell Rufus his parents had been killed by the last wave. The only thing he hadn't had to fake however, was his sorrow. After all, his parents and his entire family really were dead. That had seemed to originate an even softer side in his host, he had immediately become even kinder, more concerned about his well-being. He had made sure he never missed of anything.
Castiel had kept thanking him, and he was still doing it to this day, everyday. Once he had recovered and grown strong enough to leave, Rufus hadn't kicked him out, quite the contrary actually. He had invited him in, again. He had proposed him to work for him, help him out with his business as he was getting old and couldn't take care of everything by himself anymore. Cas had accepted.
Of course he had, it was a great opportunity and assured him a roof and food for as long as he stayed here, and he felt beholden. He would devote his life to helping the old man if that meant he could thank him for everything he had done for him.
As a baker, Rufus was very much needed in everybody's life. In those times and in a village as small as Faynel, the one they were in, bread was a daily staple. Castiel knew that with his talent and honesty, his host would have been hired to be the king's personal cook had he lived in the capital city. But when he had asked Rufus why he hadn't tried, he had gotten distant and vague over the subject. He had understood later that he accorded a significant importance to his little shop, something relevant to his deceased wife. Cas had stopped asking questions after that, he didn't want to importune him, he had seen how he had tried to delibarately avoid talking about it.
Castiel closed the dusty pane when he chilled, the morning's cold wind brushing against his skin.
Today was an ordinary day for the angel, nothing special, just routine. But he was fine with that. Although he kind of wished something would happen, he was tired of just waiting. Today would simply be the same as yesterday, why would it be any different after all?
Heaving a sigh, he quickly put some clothes on, a simple white shirt which was loose on the sleeves, a little too large for him and black pants. He didn't have many clothes and they almost all had been Rufus's one day but he wasn't complaining, he had had nothing at all when he had arrived.
He left his room and hastened to go to the kitchen to bake himself a quick breakfast so he would be able to work as soon as possible. He chose to make scrambled eggs as he had gotten some to the market the day before. In less than ten minutes, he was done and ready to go. He made sure to lock the house before going to the bakery on the other side of the street.
Rufus greeted him quickly, once he got inside, busy with the furnace.
"How are you kid?" He said.
"Fine, thanks. How about you?" Castiel replied.
"Good too." Rufus turned around to take a proper look at him and Castiel saw his eyes sadden. He almost opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but he already knew the answer.
"You look tired." The baker observed and didn't make any more comment but he knew he didn't have to. Castiel had had to tell him about his recurring nightmares one night when he had screamed so loud, Rufus had had to come and check up on him.
They hadn't talked about it much after that, mainly because it brought back unbearable memories to Castiel and the old man didn't want to inflict him more pain than necessary.
The angel looked down, not answering so Rufus added: "Could you do something for me?"
Cas looked back at him and nodded. "Of course, what do you need?"
The baker turned around to shove some dough in the stove. "Mrs Campbell is very ill, she might not have very long and I thought that maybe... We could do something good. Why don't you bring her this fine piece of bread?" He pointed at a little package wrapped in a dishcloth on the table.
"Yes of course, I will bring it to her immediately." Castiel agreed.
"Thanks kiddo." Rufus said before returning to his work.
The angel grabbed the bread, tucked it into a canvas bag and left the bakery to go to Mrs Campbell's house. He figured he had some time, so he chose to walk near the river to clear his mind. He had always loved observing his surrounding and the water had always been a source of wonder to him. The way the current kept moving, flowing as the days went by, joining a larger place, fascinated him. He liked to think everything was like the river, all part of a bigger plan.
His backbag nonchalantly thrown on one of his shoulders, Castiel's feet rolled on the little rocks on the ground as he kept walking towards the south of the city where Mrs Campbell lived.
The town wasn't very big and wasn't considered to be one of the most influent of Nanta but the level of life was more than correct and Cas certainly wasn't complaining. He felt good living here, even though he still had the impression he didn't belong. He felt so lucky to be here, so blessed to be alive and have a home. Of course he still felt incredibly guilty and miserable every time he thought of his family but he had chosen to leave his dark thoughts to the night and enjoy every moment life had the goodness to grant him.
A fresh breeze caressed his face, ruffling through his hair and he breathed in deeply, closing his eyes and taking in all the morning wind's purity. He found beauty in approximately everything he saw, even after everything that had happened to him and Rufus kept saying it was wonderful. Castiel sometimes caught him looking at him like he would have his own child, like a fragile, innocent and breakable thing he had to protect at all costs. But Cas didn't want any of this. He didn't want people's compassion, he could take care of himself. Although, he didn't deny it when offered, he always felt like he owed them subsequently.
Far in the distance, the sky was slowly turning blue, the sun rising until every nuance of orange disappeared. Castiel concentrated on everything around him. The sound of the current on his left, the smell of fishes, spices, flowers that were exposed on market stalls, the noises of the city waking up and he caught himself thinking that it was not at all like everything he had ever known. In Caelum, angels were mostly trained to be warriors, always obeying to their superior's orders. Of course, they had towns and villages like this one, but nothing so friendly. They were allowed to have children only to assure the species prosperity, and never more than three. They couldn't really build a family. When their children, girls or boys, reached the age of eighteen, they were sent to an academy where they learned how to fight properly for their country and never saw their parents again. Gabriel had been one year away from that sentence when he had died. His brother, his sister and him had always been very close and when they had learned that they would be separated, it had broken their heart.
Sadly, Castiel thought that he would have loved to show them this place. This wonderful territory where they were allowed to feel, to love, to live. This amazing town where an old man had been kind enough to take care of a homeless child he didn't know and had offered him his protection and a place to stay. He knew Gabriel and Anna would have loved it here.
He could almost see Anna running a little afar, as close to the water as she could while he and Gabriel would be talking and laughing about his latest trick, always keeping a careful watch on their sister. His brother would have laughed like he had always heard him, hearty and unbroken. This time, his laughter wouldn't have died in his throat. His sister would have smiled at the sky and ran towards them to show them whatever interesting thing she would have found. This time, her innocence and childhood would have remained intact.
Castiel sighed, he couldn't afford to think about that right now. His past was haunting him every night, he didn't have to make a hell out of every day as well.
Lost in his thoughts, the angel didn't notice the three boys at the corner of the street, who had been eyeing him for a good moment now and had discreetly gotten closer.
"Hey blue eyes!" One of them apostrophized him.
Cas gulped and looked down, trying to act like he didn't see them.
"Oh, freak! I'm talking to you!" The same boy said.
Castiel clenched his jaw, tightening his grip on his bag as he saw them encircle him. He always tried to avoid trouble and usually managed to. But Gordon and his friends always found a way to bother him or push him around. He had tried every possible path in the city to get where he wanted but those guys had lived in it much longer than he had, and knew every street by heart.
Gordon, the leader, took a step closer, now standing right in front of Castiel, looking down at him as he was slightly taller. "You hear me, freak? Answer when I talk to you."
As Cas didn't do as he was told, he pushed him brutally, which would probably have sent the angel on the ground if he didn't have such good reflexes. "What do you want Gordon?" He growled.
The boy laughed bitterly as one of his friends grabbed Castiel's bag. "Watch your mouth, Cassie."
"Don't call me that." The angel warned, feeling his anger grow and he tugged at the strap of his backbag to try to get it back.
Gordon chortled again, raising his eyebrows. "Why not? I call you whatever I want, asshole."
Despite how much Castiel wanted to make him swallow back his words, as much as he wanted to answer and fight back, he didn't do it. He never did. He couldn't. His fighting skills were so different from human ones, he was sure people would figure it out. He had never been good at unarmed combat, that's why he stayed silent, why he didn't retort. It was also why they kept using him as a scapegoat.
"See? That's better." Gordon mocked, smirking maliciously.
One of the boys managed to get the bag off Castiel's hands and he immediately protested. "Give it back!"
"What for? What's so important in here?" The boy said, digging into the bag and pulling the bread out of it. "Oh, that looks pretty good. 'Would make a good dinner for tonight."
Castiel tried to reach for the bread but the other guy withholded him. "It's not yours! I have to bring it to Mrs Campbell!"
The boy holding him back laughed. "And what's she gonna do with it?"
It was Castiel's turn to chuckle. "I don't know... Eat it maybe?"
Unfortunately, neither of them seemed to find his reply funny and that granted him a punch in the stomach. Castiel bended in two and coughed a little.
"She's dying, she ain't gonna need it." Gordon said.
Once some air found its way back in Cas's lungs, he mumbled: "Stealing a dying woman's meal is low, even for you."
He braced himself for another blow after his remark but he only heard a voice he didn't recognize. "Hey, need some help here?"
Cas lifted his head to look at the source of the voice and his eyes met a young man's. He was definitely handsome, from what he could see at least. He was very well built, had green eyes, chestnut hair, and a casual look.
"What'd ya want?" Gordon said, turning to face the man.
The green eyed boy shoved his hands in his pockets and moved forward, unimpressed. "Nothing, just wondering why three big guys like you need to bother this kid."
Castiel almost protested, he was seventeen, he wasn't much of a kid anymore. Besides, the man didn't seem much older than him.
Gordon huffed and turned away. "Not your business."
"Well..." The man took another step forward. "Actually I thought that maybe I could do something good for once. I thought you liked some challenge, why don't you come and get some?" He opened his arms like an invitation and the boy holding Castiel let go of him and hastened to take it.
"You'll see. You're gonna regret you put your nose in this, fucker."
The man raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. "Oh, really? Somehow, I doubt that."
As soon as Gordon's friend tried to hit the man, he agilely avoided the punch and grabbed his wrist firmly, turning it behind the poor boy's back until he was hissing in pain. With a slight pressure, the boy was groaning and Castiel saw Gordon's eyes widen.
"So," The green eyed man teased. "Who wants to be next?"
Without a second thought, Gordon and his friends turned away and left after that, throwing Cas's bread on the floor.
The angel hurried up to pick it up and remove the dust from it. He barely noticed the man who came to stand right beside him. "You okay?"
Castiel's pride had him answer: "I didn't ask you to help me."
The man chuckled. "Sure, because you totally had the situation under control, right?"
Cas felt a blush burn his cheeks as he looked down, ashamed. That seemed to make the man soften and he handed him a hand. "Name's Dean. Dean Winchester."
The angel looked up at him and shook his hand after an hesitation. "Castiel."
"Well Cas, you're welcome."
"I didn't thank you."
"Still, you're welcome."
"And my name is Castiel, not Cas."
"Too complicated."
Somehow, in his general good mood and kindness, Dean Winchester managed to make Castiel smile.
So there you go for the first chapter! What did you think? I live for your feedback, so any kudo, and especially review would make me excessively happy. Don't hesitate to tell me each one of your thoughts about it, good or bad, I'm always receptive to critics, they help me improve.
