So, this is my first attempt at a LotR fic. This was meant to be funny, so please don't think I am making fun of LotR itself. I am only trying to amuse you, my readers, with a story compiled of all the most common Mary Sue clichés out there.
Disclaimer: I don't own or make a profit off of the brainchild of J.R.R. Tolkien. I simply enjoy it and hope to amuse people. Please don't take me away (although I have heard that the food in the asylums is rather good).
Here we go!
Chapter 1: Introducing Vanariel, Otherwise Known as The Mary Sue from Mordor
She sat in the river garden of Imladris day after day. Her long, lusciously straight black hair hung in her face, hiding her beautiful emerald green eyes, which were highlighted with hints of silver. Now, as every day, her eyes held tears. Silent tears, but tears nonetheless (She never had learned to make her tears cry). This brought another wave of beautiful, crystalline tears streaming down her face (of course you know that her face never got red or blotchy. That would ruin the effect, don't you think?). She cried like this because she could not bear the thought of all the poor, fluffy little squirrels that were displaced by the building of Mordor (the thought that those squirrels were now happily living their mentally disturbed lives in Fangorn Forest now did not cross her mind). Elrond looked out his study window on his younger daughter. He was concerned for her. She'd always had such a connection with small furry things (she could not stand the thought of the dust bunnies that resided under her bed being dusted. Thinking of this never failed to send her running to Elrond in tears).
So, there's the first chapter, please read and review. If you don't like it please be kind enough to tell me to crawl back into the hole from which I came. Just Kidding, I really don't mind flames; they will be used for the amusement of my other personalities. So yeah, ummm… review, I will be heart broken if you don't and will have to cry in the garden with Vanariel.
Me the Maniac
