Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII or its characters...

A/N: When I first started out writing, not too long ago...but seemingly long enough to start out this paragraph with, I silently swore to myself that I wouldn't do any non-game/movie canon fics (at least to the point of staying in character and having the characters do what they normally do...you know, kill baddies, save the world, etc...). So, we can all see now how well I adhered to that promise. I thought I'd give humor a try, and while killing baddies and saving the world is awesome, it just doesn't come off as humorous...rightly so, I suppose. This happened to be the idea flitting through my mind at the time...set in an office; each of our favorite FF7 characters will have their own little intertwining stories dedicated to them doing everything except what they're supposed to be doing! Well, all I can say is here goes and if you'd kindly tell me to either keep it up...or get your sorry bleep back to the action/adventure stuff already! Thanks...


Another Day at the Office...

Bleeeeeeeeeep...Bleeeeeeeeeep...Bleeeeeeeeeep...

There was something horrible happening in Cloud Strife's room this morning. Something that made the young blonde man grit his teeth and tightly shut his eyes, something that happened all too often for his liking. Yes, he'd gotten just about no sleep last night. Yes, the alarm clock wailed plaintively in his ears. Yes, it was Monday morning.

Bleeeeeeeeeep...SLAM!

"There, that ought to teach that little, electronic, sonnova---"

Mental note #1: Get less annoying alarm clock.

Bleeeeeeeeeep...

"What! ARGH!"

Mental note #2: Take better aim when attacking alarm clock.

SLAM!...Bleeeeeeeeeep...SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!

"OWWW!"

Mental note #3: Open eyes when trying to kill alarm clock...side note: Never EVER put keys next to alarm clock again...

Cloud grimaced and retreated from his assault upon the alarm clock. The thing obviously had it in for him anyway. Sighing, he got up and rubbed his eyes, trying ineffectively to banish the grogginess that plagued him. A shower would help...yes, it would definitely help. Decision made, he stood and trudged towards the bathroom, his brilliant blue eyes still drifting closed and his mouth wide open, emitting a fearsome yawn.

WHACK!

As if the pesky clock and the ill-placed keys weren't enough, the closed bathroom door...matter-of-factly letting his nose know it was still shut...confirmed it. It was Monday...and it was going to be Monday ALL day long...

...some time later...

The wind whipped through his unusually spiky blonde hair as he sped down the highway that would take him to work. He didn't care if it was messed up, in fact he took great pride in it's gravity-defying stance...to the dismay of his superiors. Hah! He laughed mentally at the thought, they'd asked him repeatedly to do something about his golden hair. It'd never stay down anyway...I know, I've tried! Spying his turn-off, he angled his motorcycle, a specially modified Fenrir-class vehicle, and swerved into the office's parking lot.

After parking and jogging up the few steps to the front revolving doors of his office, Cloud took a minute to steel himself for the inevitable barrage to come. He knew as soon as he reached his desk that things would come crashing down into his lap...things he would rather avoid at all costs. As a matter of fact---

WHUMP!

"Oops...sorry buddy, you know...it's kinda impolite to stand in front of the door too long, especially when a guy is an hour late...oh hey Cloud!"

Cloud managed to peel himself off of the office's cement wall only to be clapped on the back hard enough to send him back into it. "Re...urk...Reno!" He turned about and glared into his red-headed co-worker's eyes. Reno didn't exactly work with Cloud, being on the security team, while Cloud was one of the managers of transportation for the corporation...but he was close enough.

"What? Can't a guy say hello?" Reno's already large grin became almost inhumanly huge. "Love to stay and talk, man, but like I said I'm la---"

"Ahem..." Another voice interrupted Reno, coming from the front doors.

Cloud and Reno both turned to see a large, well dressed, black man standing silently, but obviously glaring at Reno from behind a pair of sunglasses.

"Oh...heh heh, hey Rude, you know...the funniest thing happened this morning, you see my cat..." Reno held up his hands, preparing to provide exact hand gestures for the story.

Rude simply turned back to go inside, shaking his head and stating. "You don't have a cat..."

Reno stopped open mouthed. Then he shut it with an audible click, turned to Cloud and shrugged. "Can't blame me for trying...!" He promptly turned then and followed his partner through the revolving doors.

Cloud shook his head and passed through the doors into the main lobby. Ah...I never get tired of the sight. He thought sarcastically as the giant ShinRa sign entered his view. It was largely metal and wood, with the ShinRa insignia displayed proudly with the bold caption: We Connect You To The World! Cloud started to walk forward again, still muttering and shaking his head, when a finger poking into his chest stopped him.

"You alright? Your head looks like it's on looser than normal today! I mean, it hasn't stopped shaking since you've walked in the door..." The hand connected to the finger then moved up the side of his face, while it's partner moved over to the opposite side. The slim and deceptively strong hands, along with Cloud's initial shock at the encounter immediately stopped his head's movement.

Cloud tilted his head up far enough to take in the face of the person he already knew was talking. No one else possessed that high, mocking voice. "Yuffie..."

Her bright eyes moved closer to his, as she leaned in, standing up to the fullest of her diminutive stature. "Just making sure, Mr. Strife... You sure it doesn't need any tightening?"

He put on the most disparaging face he could sum up, which was surprisingly easy...considering how his day was going. It wasn't that he didn't like Reno or Yuffie; it was just that he got along with them better on days that didn't end in "y". Ok...they're nice enough people...but I don't know how they can both be this chipper on a Monday... "Yuffie, it's about as secured as it's going to get on me...now, if you would kindly---"

Briiiiing! Briiiiing!

"Oh...that's the phone...I'll see yah laters Cloud!" Yuffie sprung from her spot and almost flew into the receptionist's desk. She was an intern here, all the way from Wutai...so she claimed...then again, she also claimed that she was training to be a ninja and was a princess...

Cloud was just about to shake his head, when he remembered that he'd been doing that a bit too much recently. Better to not addle the few parts of his brain that were actually functioning now. He'd get better, just after he got to his desk, and a few more hours of sleep...

...You don't really want me to tell you about his ascent in the elevator and the cool synthesized music that accompanied his trip, now do you?...

Cloud exited the elevator and made his way through the maze of offices on his floor, quietly humming the music he had heard over the elevator's loudspeaker. He could've sworn he'd heard that particular song before, he just couldn't place it... Maybe from a game I've played before? He dismissed the thought as he reached his office he shared with his co-manager. Literally plopping into his seat, he took a deep breath and contemplated whether to turn on the computer or put his head on the desk and close his eyes. He glanced over at the other desk in the room...seeing it empty of his partner, he promptly put his plan into action. In a swift move he kicked his feet up and leaned as far back as he could in his chair. Ahhh... Now this wasn't so bad...maybe he could just do this for only a little bit and...and...

"STRIFE!"

The sudden outburst brought him flying upward, which caused two things to happen. His chair went backward and his body went the opposite way. Rufus Shinra winced as the chair disappeared under the desk and then Cloud followed it, after a short flight and frantic effort to regain his feet. Then a brief, yet violent scuffle ensued, followed by Cloud's second attempt to stand up. The desk made sure this was impossible as Rufus heard a loud bang followed by an infuriated yell from Cloud. Finally, clutching his head and slowly appearing back in view, Cloud stood to face the Vice-President of ShinRa Electric Co.

"You...um, sir...if you'd just knock next time..." Cloud said slowly.

"I did...twice..." Rufus said calmly. "Two things, Strife..." He paused, then resumed. "...Three things, Strife: One, a convoy of our trucks broke down just outside of Sector 5. You'll need to find out what happened there. Secondly, it's First Tri-mester inventory time again...you know what that means..."

Cloud nodded and groaned silently, he'd forgotten about that...

"And finally..." Rufus sighed. "Cloud, you're one of the best managers we have...but that doesn't exempt you from company policies regarding presentable dress..."

See! He knew it was coming!

"...Do something about the hair..." Rufus turned to leave as he said this, exiting without a backward glance.

Cloud just about collapsed into his chair again, barely remembering in time that it wasn't where it was supposed to be. Bringing it back into a righted position, he fell into it and reached over to turn his computer on. The screen blinked on and his work screen loaded. "78 New Messages!" Blinked repeatedly on his screen. Cloud rested his elbow on the desk and put his chin on the upraised fist. Yep...

WHAP!

Something small bounced off the bridge of his nose. Something small and rubbery...

WHAP! WHAP!

Two more missiles struck him, one in the shoulder, and one in his ear. Cloud whirled around. Zack! When did he get here? Sure enough, there was his partner, nearly doubled over in laughter, and obviously all because of the look on Cloud's face. "He...HEY!" Cloud began. "Zack! When did you show up?"

"Some time between...HA HA..." Zack launched into another fit of laughter. "Some time in between your...uh...meditational snoring..." Still red-faced from all the laughter, he nevertheless started to ready a couple more rubber bands.

Cloud merely grumbled under his breath and turned back to his computer screen. "If you launch those, I'm going to make sure you regret it forever..."

Zack set the rubber bands down. "Aw, c'mon Cloud...just a little joke." He looked around for a moment. "Hey...how about I launch them at Gerald? He's always a good laugh!" the dark haired man stood up, ready to fire.

Cloud rolled his eyes. He cared for his partner...although he'd never admit it...like a brother, but sometimes... Just then a shout erupted from across the hall and Zack leapt back into his chair. Gerald, a middle-aged man in an expensive suit appeared, blustering, in the doorway. Cloud turned around only to see that Gerald's glare was specifically towards him, and Zack was grinning maniacally on the other side of the office, pointing all the while in Cloud's direction.

...this one skips over the unseemly things Gerald has to say about our man, Cloud. Yeesh, that guy is troubled...

Gerald's words only half registering in Cloud's mind, the only thing he could think about was the surprisingly clear picture of himself wielding a incredibly large sword and using it to, well, refute Gerald's general opinion about him and his lineage. He wouldn't mind later using it on his so-called friend Zack, either... Yes, it's certainly Monday...just another day at the office...


To be continued? Well, all you have a say in that. So, if you'd kindly...

Please review...