Disclaimer: I do not own Chris Jericho or anything else pretaining to World Wrestling Entertainment. I am just a fan; and I am not profiting from writing this piece.


With his rolling suitcase in one hand and his duffle bag in the other, Chris trudged wearily up his front steps. It had been a long two weeks of travel. Typically, Chris was enthusiastic about World Wrestling Entertainment's annual trips to foreign countries. Spending a few days soaking in the beautiful countryside of Spain, then Italy, and finally France, that was more like taking a vacation than doing one's job. However, it was a vacation that ultimately left him with jetlag and aching joints. He couldn't wait to get a solid five hours sleep in his own bed before he went to pick up Rosalind after her shift at Alzonzo's.

Tonight marked Chris and Rosalind's six-month anniversary; therefore, Chris was going to take advantage of the fact that he was not working on this special occasion. It had been almost five years since he had been able to celebrate an anniversary of any kind.

Chris let out a thankful sigh as he set his luggage on the porch and fumbled around inside the pocket of his jeans for his house keys. He was going to drop his luggage by the stairs, call Rosalind to let her know that he had made it home safely, and then run upstairs to shower and go to sleep.

He had just set down his bags and was about to pull out his cell phone when he noticed the red rose petals that were trailing up the stairs.

"Someone has been reading one too many romance novels," Chris chuckled, slipping his phone back into his pocket. He smiled at Rosalind's cliché romantic notion and decided to play along. Following the trail of rose petals, he was led down the upstairs hallway, to his master bedroom.

The door was slightly ajar; and a light was illuminating the hallway.

"Knock, knock," Chris said as he lightly on the door.

"Come in," was Rosalind's soft response.

Chris all but melted as the sound of her beautiful voice nestling inside his ear canals. His grin widened and he pushed the door open further.

"Well, this is a pleasant—"

Chris was stunned into silence.

Rosalind was lying on his bed, in leftover rose petals, wearing a black, sheer negligee with a lace bodice and a matching g-string. Chris's piercing blue eyes were fixated on her and scanning her petite frame in amazement.

His brain was scrambling to produce some kind of verbal response, but the only thing he could say was, "Oofa."

Rosalind blushed, looking away from him as she spoke. "I took a sick day so that I could surprise you. I know that you were planning on dinner at the beach, but I thought…I thought we could do something a little more…special—i-if you want to. If you don't, that's fine, too."

Chris stood there a moment.

"Is this what you want?" he asked.

Rosalind bit her lip nervously and nodded.

Chris gave her a tense smile.

"All right, then," he said, strolling over to the bed. "First, let me go wash this flight off me. I'll be right out."

She nodded. Her face was flushed as she looked up at him.

He placed a series of gentle pecks across her lips and then one long, lingering kiss to her forehead.

"Take your time."

Chris grabbed some underwear from his dresser drawers and darted into the bathroom.

This was it; the moment of truth—the consummation of their relationship, and Chris was actually scared as hell. He and Rosalind were about to skip the I-think-I'm-in-love-with-you level of their relationship and go straight to intimacy. How the hell did that happen?

Chris's heart was slamming violently against his ribcage as he turned on the shower. He sat on the toilet for a moment and tried to get himself together. So overcome by his panic, he stupidly decided to call Jay.

"Listen, Jay," Chris hissed, not even waiting for Jay to properly greet him, "I don't want any of your whimsical little quips, okay?"

"O…Kay," Jay replied slowly, sounding slightly confused. "What's going on, man?"

Chris took a deep breath.

"Well, there's a gorgeous brunette woman, wearing provocative lingerie, lying on my bed."

"Then, what the hell are you doing talking to me?" Jay shrieked, excited for his best friend. "You get in there and spank the monkey, bro!"

"Gee, those are wonderful words of encouragement," Chris groaned. "I'm not entirely sure that I'm ready for this. I haven't been intimate with a woman in three years, so I'm going to need a little more than your horny pubescence at the moment."

"Okay, okay," Jay laughed. "Look, man, sex is like riding a bike. You might not ride a bike for years; but when the time comes, you always remember how to. So you have nothing to worry about—unless you sucked in the sack before. You didn't suck before, did you?"

"Elise never complained," Chris answered, somewhat incoherent.

"See, so you have nothing to worry about."

Chris sighed, strangely comforted by Jay...for once.

"So…about this 'provocative lingerie…'"

Chris rolled his eyes. "Goodbye, Jay."

"Wait, wait! You can't tell me that there's a half-naked woman in your room and then leave me hanging. What kind of best friend are you? I need details!"

Chris chuckled as he hung up and switched his phone to vibrate.