A fanfic I thought up last night after having a good laugh. I was hurting bad from the images I saw. If only this site let you post pictures. XD


Vegeta had finally clipped together the ultimate blackmail footage he had pieced together for a very special occasion. Who knew filming everything would be so fun? He actually had more fun filming than he did training. A shocker, I know. It all started back before his son was born. Bulma had wanted to film everything for the baby, having people saying different things and a bunch of mushy shit Vegeta didn't care about.

"But they're your friends. Why do I have to do it?"

"Because you can fly and I can't." she snapped at him holding her baby bump. "I'm not going all over the place with my feet sore."

"Why should I do this in the first place?"

"Because if you don't, no training room when it breaks."

Although Vegeta could always force her into doing it, he knew she'd get Kakarott involved and he wasn't strong enough to do what he wanted. His father must be rolling in his grave knowing not only did he let a woman have control over him, but also that a third class was stronger than him. What he didn't expect was how much fun he was and what he had managed to catch on camera while filming. Even though getting what he needed for Bulma only took a little while, everything other than that was for personal preference...and blackmail which he was getting ready to reveal to everyone at Bulma's upcoming party. His wife had been surprised when Vegeta said he had been preparing a special surprise for everyone. She tried getting him to tell her, but he only smiled (yeah smiled not smirked) at her and told her he didn't want to ruin anything. This Bulma even more curious and a bit worried. For one thing, when he SMILED it weirded her out since she had never seen Vegeta smile. He always smirked or frowned or just had a blank expression on his face. What the heck was he planning? No matter how many times she asked for a clue, he wouldn't give her any hints, just saying that it would be both entertaining and funny. Vegeta saying that made her worry more than ever. Vegeta didn't have a good sense of humor! It was more evil humor than anything. She made a mental note to ask Goku and the others to look out for any traps in the house.

When the party came around, Vegeta was nowhere to been seen since she couldn't find him anywhere. She decided to ask everyone if they had seen him. She went over to Krillin and 18 both of which were visibly depressed and reasonably so. They had lost custody of their daughter Marron and weren't allowed to visit her. "Hey you two. I'm glad you could come."

"Yeah, we just needed to get out of the house." said Krillin. "It's been hard not having Marron around."

"I'm really sorry." said Bulma genuinely feeling sorry for the two. The child services department had come so suddenly to the little island and yanked away the little girl and they had one it without even telling the couple why they had done so only saying that they were disgusting creatures. If someone had taken away her child, she wouldn't be able to bare it.

"You don't have anything to apologize for." said Krillin. "You're not the only who took her away. I still don't know why."

"Well hopefully you'll be able to get her back or at least be able to visit her."

"I should just go kill the bastards and take her back by force." mumbled 18.

"You know we can't do that." sighed Krillin. "I just wish I knew why."

"Thing'll get better. Besides, we could always use the dragon balls...well once a year is over." said Bulma.

"I guess." sighed the former monk.

"By the way, have you guys seen Vegeta? I can't find him anywhere!"

"No I haven't seen that pervert." scowled 18.

"Pervert? Vegeta's not a pervert."

"Oh yes he is. He asked me to see one of my breasts a week back." said 18 frowning.

"He what?"

"Yeah and he had the nerve to say it in front of me!" said Krillin.

FLASHBACK

Krillin had been outside watering the plants while 18 was making sand castles with their daughter when Vegeta showed up. The saiyan never came over before other than that one time, so seeing him was unexpected. Before anything could be said, Vegeta went straight over to 18.

"Android."

"Vegeta." said 18 raising a brow curious as to what the saiyan wanted.

"Lemme see one titty."

"E-excuse me!?" said 18 thrown off by this. She expected this sort of thing from Roshi or Oolong, but Vegeta?! Did Roshi learn how to shape-shift or something? No that was Oolong. He had tried this sort of thing once but as Krillin. She of course saw right through him. "Hold on a second."

She called up Oolong and when the pig answered, she instantly hung up the phone. Krillin meanwhile was pissed as expected. "Did you just ask my wife to flash her chest at you!? And in front of my kid?"

"It's just one." smirked Vegeta shrugging.

"Just one?! SHE'S MY WIFE!"

"So? She's nothing but a walking, talking sex doll anyways."

"Sex...Vegeta, you'd better leave." said Krillin in a warning voice. Although he was stronger than him, he would still fight the bastard for insulting his wife.

"I'll show you Bulma's." insisted Vegeta.

"Nobody wants to see that!" said Krillin angrily.

"Vegeta, just leave." said 18. "I don't know why the sudden interest, but it's not gonna happen. Go look at your wife's."

"If you don't, you'll regret it." said the saiyan crossing his arms.

"Yeah right, now get the hell out of here!" said Krillin.

He looked over at Marron who was concentrating on her castle. "Pretty little girl. It would be a shame if something happened to her."

"Stay away from my daughter, Vegeta!" said 18 instantly getting in front of her kid as well as Krillin.

"Let me see one titty."

"HELL NO!" The saiyan just shrugged and flew off.

End Flashback

"That bastard! I can't believe that bullshit." said Bulma. "When I see him...ooooh! I'll speak you guys later."

Bulma was furious. Vegeta had done a stupid thing by doing that shit and then not expecting the couple to tell. Could the surprise be he was leaving her? If he had said that to 18, then there was no telling who else he had ask that to or if he had slept with anyone. She saw Chichi and decided to ask her.

"Chichi, have you seen Vegeta?"

"No I haven't and I don't care if I ever see him again." scowled Chichi.

"Let me guess. He ask to see your chest?"

"No. He actually..."

FLASHBACK

Chichi was in the kitchen cleaning up the dishes while Goku was out with Krillin and Gohan was studying when she heard knocking on the door. It sounded rather urgent, making Chichi wonder if it was bad news at her door. It always seemed to be these days. Opening it, she saw Vegeta. "Goku's not here."

"I'm not here for Kakarot. I'm here for you." said Vegeta.

"Huh?" Chichi was confused. The heck could he want from her. Then it dawned on her. He could be about to hold her hostage or even kill her or rape her to get revenge against Goku! She didn't trust the saiyan and it seemed like something he would do given his past. "Try anything and..."

"Go jump off a cliff or your secret will be revealed." said Vegeta.

"Excuse me?" She wasn't sure she heard him right. Did he just tell her to jump off a cliff?

"You heard me. Or just get out of town or something. You're the most irritating woman I've ever met. Kakarot would be better with a rock. I hope he starves to death with you gone. It'll be a satisfying victory."

"How dare you! Get off my property!" growled Chichi wishing she had her trusty frying pan.

"Nope. Not until you pack your shit and leave."

She slammed the door in his face. She could hear the saiyan saying she'd regret it, but only told him she didn't care.

END FLASHBACK

"I'll talk with him as soon as I get my hands on him." promised Bulma.

This wasn't the only instance she came across after talking with the rest of the party go-ers. Vegeta was threatening people saying if they didn't do a certain thing, they'd either regret it or he'd say it'd be a shame if *insert loved one or item* went missing/got hurt. She shook her head as she looked inside of their bedroom where she found her mother dusting the furniture.

"Mom, have you seen Vegeta?" she asked while hoping Vegeta hadn't said anything to her.

"Last time I saw him, he was talking with your father." said Mrs. Briefs.

"Okay, how long ago was that." she asked looking relieved her mother hadn't been threatened by Vegeta.

"A few minutes ago actually."

Bulma headed downstairs to the lab where his grandfather was. He was eating a muffin while typing on his computer. "Dad, where's Vegeta?"

"He's outside I believe. He said something about calibrating something."

"What did he wanted?"

"He had wanted help with the remote to the tv."

"For what?"

"It needed to be reset since I spilled some stuff on it." her father shrugged pulling out a drawer. "Have you seen my mallet anywhere?"

"What do you need it for?"

"N-no reason." something about that sentence sounded suspicious, but Bulma decided to let it slide as she was too focused on finding that troublesome husband of her's. After looking around the Briefs' manor for her husband and never finding him, she gave up and went back inside to enjoy herself and just deal with the man later. She was talking with Chichi went she heard an intercom system with Mrs. Briefs voice talking to them. Wait when did they have an intercom system in the house?

She instructed them to head into the living room for a surprise. Once everyone had gotten settled in, metal bars slammed down over the windows and doors and metal sheets covering any of the exits. Then Vegeta's voice boomed over the system. "Hahahaha! I'VE GOT YOU ALL HERE!"

"Vegeta, what the hell are you doing!?" shouted Bulma.

"Acting on my blackmail." laughed the prince.

"You mean after you threatened everyone!" said Bulma.

"If they were smart, they would have done what they were told like some people." said Vegeta and everyone in the room could just see that smirk on the prince's face. "Now you all will know today that nobody tells me no."

"Let us out, asshole!" said Yamcha.

"You won't be calling me that after a while after you see what i have to show you." said the prince. "Trust me. You'll thank me for this."

"For locking us in here? Yeah right." he said rolling his eyes.

Then the lights turned off and a projection screen came down from the ceiling and the projector in the room came down from the ceiling and projected footage of someone walking down a hallway until they got into a door. You could hear the sound of shower water and someone singing.

"Hey isn't that Bulma's voice?" asked Oolong.

'Oh hell no!' thought Bulma gritting her teeth. She knew what this video was.

The door opened and inside was a bathroom as expected. She was singing quite badly, embarrassing the blue haired woman while some of the others snickered until Bulma threw them a venomous look, shutting them up quick. Vegeta's hand reached out and yanked the shower curtain open. Bulma jumped, covering herself. "Vegeta! You scared the...is that a camera!?"

"You need to shave that forest. My dick can't find your pussy in that mess." said Vegeta bluntly.

"MONKEY!" she retorted giving him the finger.

"Stop drooling you clown!" snapped Bulma hitting Roshi over the head. "And Vegeta turn that shit off!"

Vegeta either didn't hear her or was just ignoring her. Either way, the video continued.

"Whatever woman." said Vegeta. He left out the bathroom.

"Aw!" said Oolong. Bulma hit him too. "OW! What was that for?!"

The footage cut to Vegeta at the Son house where he knocked on the door. It took a while, but eventually Goku came to the door. "Oh hey, Vegeta! What's up?"

"Don't talk to me." said Vegeta. "Talk to the camera,you fool."

"Oh..." Goku tilted his head. "Why?"

"It's for the brat."

"Who? Oh that's right! Bulma's pregnant! I forgot. Uh, what do I say?" asked Goku tapping his chin.

"Something. I don't know." said the older saiyan in an impatient voice. "Just hurry up. I've got better things to do and I have to go to every one of your friends today, so get to talking Kakarot."

"Okay then." Goku sat there for a moment trying to thing of something to say or do for the unborn child. He looked frustrated before telling the camera hey and waving. Vegeta nearly fell over. "You dumbass, is that all you have to say!?"

"Dang, Vegeta!" Goku said looking offended. "I can't help I didn't have time to prepare!"

"Whatever faggot!" said Vegeta.

"Whatever, short stuff." said Goku.

"What'd you call me?!" said the prince.

"Short." said the younger saiyan leaning over him.

"Fuck you!" Vegeta stormed off, cursing the man underneath his breath. The camera cut off for few seconds before he showed the Kame House. Walking up the door, the door was cracked open so Vegeta walked into the house. "OLD MAN! BALDY!"

There no answer, so Vegeta went upstairs. The first room was Krillin's. It was empty so he moved onto the other bedrooms in the house. Of course they were equally empty...except for the bed full of porn magazines and even some porno tapes. The audience could hear the words "Filthy fossil" as he looked over the bed before it stopped over some particular tapes.

"What the hell...? Well I'll be. Yamcha and Bulma? This looks interesting." said Vegeta pointing over the tape. The thing even had it's own cover with Bulma sucking Yamcha's dick and the title "Medium Sized Titted Whore Does It All!" with the caption "Good girl my ass!" Porno Daily.

"ROSHI!" Bulma was fuming as she turned to the turtle hermit. She was going to clobber the bastard.

"Roshi, you bastard! That wasn't for you to see!" said Yamcha as he started strangle the man. 'Then you had the nerve to keep it to yourself!'

"Let's pop this baby in." said Vegeta. A hand appeared and he inserted it into the VHS player. The camera focused in on the tv and soon an obvious edit had the actual video instead of being focused on the television.

"Come on, Yamcha!" whined Bulma. Yamcha was laying back on Bulma's bed hands behind his back and with his eyes closed while she was sitting on the edge of the bed brushing her hair. The camera was at an angle that was obviously shot from a closet. "Let me do it."

"No, Bulma." said Yamcha. "Last time, you nearly bit it off."

"Well maybe you shouldn't be too good with your tongue then." said Bulma.

"Don't flatter me. The answer's still no."

"Vegeta, if you don't turn that shit off..."

Yamcha had thrown a ki ball at the projection screen and it burst into flames. They were quickly extinguished, but then the wall opened up revealing a tv behind glass and it started off from where the last part left off, but this time Yamcha was on the edge of the bed and Bulma was sucking his dick her hand was down her panties touching herself.

"WOOOO-HOOOO!" said Oolong with his fist in the air. "THANKS VEGETA!"

"He's a dead man!" said Bulma cracking her knuckles.

"Why the hell would he show this!? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, ROSHI!" said Yamcha glaring at Roshi.

"Maybe you too shouldn't have had great sex then." said Roshi as he paid his nosebleed no mind as his eyes were focused on the couple.

"After this is over, I'm going over to your house and destroying every single last one of those tapes." said Yamcha while Bulma nodded in agreement. However what he was really thinking was of collecting a few. Bulma did some wild shit back then and he was pretty excited to see more of it again.

"You love sucking my cock, don't you Bulma?" cooed Yamcha as the young woman moaned loudly around his penis. She pulled away from him, and practically sung praises of how delicious his cock was and how magnificent it was.

Bulma jumped up and placed herself in front of the screen and was sprayed with hot water and quickly got out of the way. Once she was out of the way, a towel dropped down on her.

"Use that to wipe yourself." said Vegeta's voice laughing at her.

Meanwhile onscreen moved away from Bulma while the blue haired woman she got on the bed n all fours. Yamcha got behind, put his hands on her hips, and slowly slid himself inside of her. Yamcha began fucking Bulma. Bulma was moaning loudly, begging the man to go faster. The erotic site of Bulma being naked and fucked was a dream come true in the mind of the more perverted people in the room while everyone else was either unomfortable with this or secretly turned on by the display or disgusted. What everyone was thinking of was why the hell Vegeta was even showing his wife's past sex tap off? Was that really something he was proud of?

'Must be a cuckold or something.' thought Oolong as they watched as Bulma was now riding the man's dick.

"Fuck, Bulma!" said Yamcha. "Your pussy is so tight! Shit! I think I'm about to come."

"DO IT!" shouted Oolong. "CUM ON HER TITS!"

"Shut up!" hissed Roshi. "This is the best part!"

"Of course you'd know!" growled Bulma. She thought about talking over the audio, but they could still see her. She could feel the looks of pity behind her back. She didn't need their pity. She needed their help beating Vegeta's ass.

Yamcha onscreen told her get up and perform a hand-stand. Bulma pouted but did as she was told and did so. Yamcha got off the bed, picked her up, and told her to hook her legs around his head. When she did so, he began eating her out while Bulma sucked his dick with him thrusting into her mouth. Yamcha cried out and came into her mouth. She choked a little bit, but recovered and swallowed.

"Man, that was hot!" said Oolong. "How'd you get in there?"

"Well, that's a bit of a secret, my boy!" snickered Roshi.

"Now that that's over..." she jumped on top of the man and strangled him. "YOU COCK-SUCKER!"

While Bulma was beating up the old man, the saiyan cut off the video. "Now that I've embarassed the shit outta Bulma, now for you Chichi as well as your little mutt."

"MUTT?! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MUTT?!"

"Heh heh. You should know." snickered Vegeta over the intercom. "Kakarott, prepared to be mind-fucked."

"What does that mean?" Goku said looking Gohan, who could only shrug. However whatever it was, it was bad news. Was it...Gohan's eyes got bigger than dinner plates and his face drained of all colors. If it was anything like the one with Yamcha and Bulma, he was fucked.

"VEGETA, NO!" said Gohan before he could stop himself. "If you do this..."

"What? I'll regret it? Your mother should have gotten lost like I told her to!" he cackled evilly. Meanwhile Videl and Piccolo were giving him a confused looks, wondering what the heck had Gohan all riled up.

As the video started, Gohan was sweating buckets. If this was what he thought he was, his life was over. He needed to get out of there and fast. Sadly there was no way he was getting out. The bars shocked the shit out of him, he was sprayed with scolding hot water, and even placed on the floor shocked him. They had secured every single way of getting out. Even if he did get out, he was going to have to spend the rest of his days in solitude, never seeing his loved ones ever again. Oh kami-sama! Please, kami-sama! Kill him now! However there was no such luck as he could hear the video starting and his social life ending.


Multiple pairings ahead. The rest are based off of some hilarious dbz source material. This wasn't chapter wasn't though. Never read a Yamcha x Bulma thing in my life (unless you count the Dragon Ball manga), so I just made this one up. Also didn't know whether to put this under humor or parody, so I just stuck with parody. I have a list of pairings I plan on doing, so if you're curious just ask. Oh and no pairings involve Vegeta except maybe Vegeta x Bulma. Might change my mind later.