I thought of publishing this on Sunday like I do with my other one-shot (and most things in general), but I was concerned I'd forget, and I just wanted this to be out before Episode 7 ended up proving me a complete sap...which I have a sad suspicion that it will, as strongly as I currently believe in Ruruka's innocence.
Anyway, this might come off odd as it's part-drabble and has a weird omniscient-type viewpoint mixed in with the Ruruka POV, not to mention I changed a few specifics of what occurred to make it make sense for this. And I was also trying to humanise her a little more, which may make her seem a little OOC to some of you, if what the apparent general fan opinion of her is anything to go by. But anyway, hope you enjoyed it.
Their story did not start with a meeting.
Normally such stories, of loves found and lost again, start with meetings. Not so this one. Ruruka does not remember meeting Yoi, does not remember a time before she ever knew of him. He had just always been there. Always. There has never been a time when she's been alone, ever.
Of course, she knew that logically, there must have been a time when they hadn't known each other, even if that's just before they were born. And as such, there must have been a meeting, most likely engineered by their parents-people who've been absent for a long time, even before they left.
But that story, whatever it was, was not her story. However their parents met, that was not her story. Ruruka's story-their story-started with him, alongside him, and continued along that way. And she expected that this is how it would end, too.
…
Seiko was an unexpected development. She enjoyed being around people and their chatters and smiles, liked getting their approval when they ate her sweets. It was fun, being the centre of attention. But she didn't need another friend, not really. Not when she had Yoi-her protector, the other half of her heart, the boy she'd marry one day. She hadn't needed anyone else.
But on that rainy day, with the dogs, something changed that, just a little. Seiko was like a hero in her eyes, being able to save one of the dogs like that, with something she had made herself. So Ruruka introduced herself, decreed that she'd call her 'Seiko-Chan' and handed her a wrapped sweet she'd had in her pocket before they parted ways.
The whole way home, she was not able to stop talking about her and that moment, so bowled over she was. The next weekend, she saw her again, while sitting in the park with Yoi, she called her over, offered her another sweet, and declared her a friend.
And just like that, two became three. If only it could have stayed that way.
…
The cracks showed up fairly early. Perhaps Ruruka should have realised that this was doomed, the moment she learnt that Seiko could not eat sugar. But Seiko was a hero; she was amazing and could make anything that she asked. Each and every time, she delivered. Ruruka knew that she could trust her with anything, nearly as much as she could trust Yoi with everything. And it grated at Ruruka that she could not do something in return. Really, all she had to offer was sweets, and in comparison to what Seiko was able to create….somehow, for the first time, it felt as if she was inferior. And even if deep down she knew that the reason wasn't personal, every quiet, pleading refusal was like something stabbing her, over and over.
So after a while, she decided to test Seiko, see how far she could push before she would stop and say no. Refuse to do things for her instead. To admit that there were some things that she couldn't do, just like how she had so many, many things that she couldn't do. And she kept trying with her sweets, investigating variations that used sweeteners instead of sugar, or without anything like that at all. She tried. One time, Yoi had to carry her back to her room and clean up for her, when she almost fell asleep on her feet in the kitchen while she had been trying. It could not be said that she hadn't. Still, Seiko continued to refuse the sweets, and kept doing whatever else she asked. Nothing changed.
When they all got accepted into Hope's Peak-all three of them, a dream come true at the time-she had thought maybe then something would give, that Seiko would be able to challenge her, that finally, she'd be able to eat her sweets. That perhaps finally, things would be okay. But it didn't. Even as reluctance started to etch itself on Seiko's normally gentle face, even as Ruruka started to not be able to stand the sight of her unless she needed something from her, they kept going in the same old circles.
Then the day of the assessments came, everything blew up oh-so-spectacularly, and she just knew it couldn't have been anyone but Seiko and she wondered just why she had ever trusted her in the first place.
…
And three became two again, just like that. Almost like before, except not, because now they had just been kicked out of the most prestigious school in the world, and their names were tainted. Whispers and looks, wherever they went. Their own families, rejecting them. They managed to get through each day, somehow, propping each other up when they felt like they couldn't go on for a moment longer (more times than either could count). A few times, the memories of happier times would float in her mind, unbidden. Memories of a girl who had been her friend, her hero. But then she would remember how Seiko had betrayed her-betrayed both of them, and she would quash it down. The only one worth trusting was Yoi.
In between the nitty-gritty of getting through each day, they started to talk of their future, of marriage as something more concrete than the heartfelt declarations of 'I'll marry you someday' that had been a big part of their lives before. They made plans, started to put money aside from their menial jobs, kept going. And then the apocalypse, the 'Biggest, Worst, Most Despair-Inducing Event in Human History' happened and put all their plans to hell.
They watched the buildings and landmarks and distinct features of the towns they knew so well burn and collapse and turn into dust, stumbled over bodies that seemed to pile up with every blood-soaked, terrifying minutes. When those bodies included those of their families, though it had been ages since the last time they'd seen them, they cried, and took turns holding each other before it was no longer safe to stand there. Yoi, her protector, the other half of her heart, used his skills to fight against anyone who would wish to harm them (which was almost anyone, at that point). She used what little she knew to find and make food for them. They stayed together, just as always, even when the Future Foundation recruited them to help them rebuild the world. In this horrifying place that had become her world, he remained the only one she could trust.
…
She was familiar with things going spectacularly wrong by the time they were all trapped in the Future Foundation building with poison bracelets around their wrists and the strong possibility of despair prevailing once again. And she was very much familiar with things going spectacularly wrong because of Seiko. And thus when this new game started, it made perfect sense to her that Seiko would be the one responsible for this, and Yoi thought so too. So as all the other different feuds played on around them while others sought answers, the three of them were reunited once again-this time by hatred, rather than friendship. Her, versus them, to the death. But she was so sure that she was right, that they were right, that when she figured out what Seiko's Forbidden Action was, she encouraged Yoi to leave her for that moment, reasoning that it wouldn't take much longer to end this by her own hands, even if it would be a much bloodier end than she would have once wanted. Of course, it didn't work out like that. Of course it didn't. Too late, she realised that they were too far gone for that. It had all gone so, so wrong, and some of it was her fault, and she couldn't ever hope to understand it. Once, Seiko had been her hero, now, she was the worst thing that she had ever known, and there was no way of salvaging that. Now, it was kill a former friend, or be killed by her.
Panicking, running away, it took her a moment to realise that Seiko had somehow been kept back by the others they had passed-Naegi, Sakakura, the girl in the wheelchair and the other one who wasn't wearing her shirt or tie for whatever reason-and she was safe. Almost there. All she needed to do was run a little more, and she'd be back where she'd camped out with Yoi the last time their bracelets had counted down. But it was counting down again, with every step she was becoming more sleepy, so after she stumbled a little more and was sure Seiko would not come after her, she crawled to a side and leaned against the wall, and closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to take her.
When she woke, she'd make the rest of the way over to Yoi, where he was sure to be waiting for her, she decided, smiling as her grip on consciousness loosened completely. There was no reason to possibly think that anything else could happen.
…
The moment Ruruka awoke, she was on her feet instantly, ready to join Yoi again. Even under the influence of whatever poison the traitor had used to allow this entire mess to be possible, her dreams had been fractured and troubling without him with her, his head on her lap like always. Once she found him, things would be fine.
It took her a moment to fully process that they weren't, however. Her head was still so woozy, it took her a moment to realise that Yoi wasn't just still asleep, not with that blade sticking out of his chest like that. Not with that much blood staining his favourite jacket like that. She took one step forward, and then another, and tried to say his name, to rouse him, but the sounds died in her throat because in truth, she knew. She knew. With a cold, brutal clarity that shocked the last drug-cloud out of her, she knew.
Almost without thinking of it, she ran straight out, hoping to find someone to help her, to show her how to make it so that this wasn't happening, that he was still alive. Stupidly, she thought of Seiko as she had been so long ago with the dogs, when there was still hope, and thought that perhaps she could help. Maybe this would be what changed things for them, what made things better, because Seiko's problem was with her, not Yoi, she was sure of it. How could anyone hate Yoi, after all? She was sure Seiko would want to save him, as she'd tried to save others, she was sure that her former friend would be willing to put a grudge aside for him…
….and then she nearly slipped in a puddle that was part water and part blood, and her own blood chilled as she turned to see where it had come from. Her hero and her protector, both dead. If it had seemed like there was no way of going back for them, there definitely wasn't now.
Two had been three for a little while, and then become two again. It was meant to have remained like that. But now there was just one-her. And it wasn't supposed to be like that.
Ruruka didn't know what to do now, how best to proceed, so she ran back to the room, stayed there, tried not to look at Yoi, for it was so painful, seeing him like that. Her protector, the other half of her heart. He had not deserved this. And she had no idea what to do without him. All she could do was wait, and wait, and wait. But when she heard the voices nearby, talking about something-Seiko's death, it seemed, from the murmured mentions of 'Kimura'-she took a breath and took a chance as she peered around the door to see who it was.
"H-Hello? I…Could you help, please? Please help me!"
…
Kizakura. Kirigiri. Mitarai. She hoped none of them were the attacker, or she'd be in bigger trouble. And she knew that asking straight out like she had done was stupid, because what attacker would really straight out admit it anyway? But she couldn't be on her own for long-she did not know how to be by herself, she'd never been by herself before. Yoi had always been there, after all. Always.
"What am I meant to do on my own? Yoi-Chan is gone…. I don't know how I'll survive on my own! "
She latched onto Mitarai as she said this, and variations of it, over and over. Kizakura she's always found a little irritating and she did not know what to make of Kirigiri with her wide lilac gaze that looked as if it saw everything but revealed nothing. But Mitarai's sad face was kind, and seemed to reflect a little of what she was feeling. Just a little, but it was enough for now. So it was him she turned to, focused on as she asked and pleaded and wondered aloud.
"Hey, could I join your group, please? I really don't know what to do alone…"
"Uh, erm…." Mitarai was uncomfortable, an observation that did not fully register with her as she gripped his shoulders and looked him in the eye, willing him to see what was happening to her.
Mitarai tried to edge away from her looked over at Kirigiri, who was kneeling next to Yoi's body and making her observations and Kizakura, lounging on the sofa like….whatever he was. There was a moment when they looked at her, then back to each other before Kizakura sighed and shrugged and Kirigiri supposed there was no helping things. There was a moment of sweet, sweet relief, until she looked over at Yoi again and she wanted to tear up. She wanted all of this to go away. She wanted for none of it to have ever happened.
"Could we…could we go away from here now?" she somehow managed to stutter after a moment. "It's…it's painful looking at him like this…"
"I'm not finished yet." Kirigiri stated, without even looking up. Something in Ruruka bristled at that, at her seeming indifference.
"But…" How could she not understand?
"This is to avenge Izayoi."
Kirigiri looked up at her with that wide lilac gaze that saw everything but revealed nothing, and remained that way for a moment. Even with a new wave of tears prickling her eyes, Ruruka bristled, feeling herself judged unfairly. What did they want to see from her? What, exactly did they expect of her, with half of her heart dead on the floor like that?
If she wasn't already empty, she would have torn into the detective, and into Kizakura, and even the soft-seeming Mitarai. But she was rooted to the spot and robbed of words too, so she just stood there. Did nothing. Kirigiri took her lack of reply to mean that she understood, and returned to whatever she was doing. And Ruruka stood there and watched.
…
The time that went by seemed torturous as she stood there, watching but not understanding. She wondered if she would end up rooted to the ground, a tree made of distress. In her mind that seemed a better outcome than spending the rest of her days in the world without him. Yet at the same time, she did not want to die here, in this horrible place, in this horrible game. She had never, ever known a time without him. It was just as she had said to them-she didn't know what to do on her own. So even as wave after wave of sadness soaked her eyelashes and made them heavy, she wiped them away, did not allow them to turn into full on streams. It did not fill the emptiness, though. She wanted to die, and she wanted to live, and didn't know what to do.
"Andou, could you come here a moment?"
Ruruka stared at Kirigiri a moment, but she did not say anything. She shot a trembling look at Mitarai, who startled, and then tried to smile.
"It'll be okay, you know." He said, weakly. Ruruka nodded distractedly, and she walked over unsteadily, and looked down at the still-crouching Kirigiri.
"What is it?" she asked, a little brusque. Kirigiri raised an eyebrow, but did not say anything as she handed a small object to her. Ruruka took it uncertainly, and then all the breath was knocked out of her.
"I found it inside one of Izayoi's pockets. It's logical that the intended recipient was you."
"Oh my, what is that you've found there, Kirigiri-Chan? Should you be giving away evidence so freely?" Kizakura asked.
"I would think it's fairly obvious what it's meant to be. And I don't consider it pertinent to the situation at hand."
There was a pretentiousness to Kirigiri's phrasing that Ruruka would have laughed at in other circumstances, but she barely thought of it, so mesmerised she was by the ring as she turned it to see it at all angles, over and over. There was no diamond in the setting, but that mattered little. It was still shiny, and bright, and beautiful, and made by him. She wondered just when Yoi had found the time to make this as they'd eked a living from day to day, as they'd stumbled their way through the apocalypse only to end up in this newer version of hell. Wondered when he would have given it to her, slipped it on her finger.
Tracing her name, which he'd engraved along the inside of the ring, she sighed and let a tear roll down her cheek for the first time.
"We were going to marry each other at some point. Before all this…." She told none of them in particular. Still holding the ring like her life depended on it, she crouched down next to him. Kirigiri smoothed her skirt and got up, stepping to a side, though she remained unnervingly close.
"It's probably not wise to stay here too long…but take the time that you need."
One hand hesitantly placed against Yoi's cheek-so cold, he shouldn't have been that cold-Ruruka looked up at Kirigiri, and for the first time saw some flicker of emotion on that stoic face. She just nodded, not sure what was expected of her, and was about to turn back when she noticed something sticking out of the detective's pocket.
"What is that?" she asked, pointing. Kirigiri pulled the item out and regarded it for a moment, before holding out to Ruruka. She recognised it immediately, and it reminded her that she had lost a hero, too, not just her protector.
"That reminds me, Andou. Do you know anything about why Kimura would have had a sweet on her person?"
"A-a sweet?" Ruruka was floored. Seiko, with a sweet?
"Small, round, about this wide." Kirigiri indicated with her fingers. "Wrapped in pink. Quite old, from the looks of things."
Ruruka's mouth dropped open and she thought back to that rainy day outside school, when their doomed friendship had been formed. If only she had known that, if only she had known that even if Seiko couldn't eat her sweets, she had treasured her efforts all the same. So much might have been different then. Maybe nothing would have gone oh-so-spectacularly wrong. Perhaps then she wouldn't be here now, the only one left…stupid, stupid Seiko….
It wasn't until she found herself gasping for breath, over and over, that she realised that she was sobbing without restraint.
…
Their story was not supposed to end at that point. Neither of them were supposed to die in such a way, at such a time. But the story, their story of love, did not start in the way it was supposed to, and so perhaps this was life's way of cruelly re-balancing the scales.
Once her tears were dried (or rather, stemmed, for she still felt the wetness around the edges), she stroked his hair a little, traced his jawline, pressed a kiss to his cheek while remembering how warm it had been before. Then, she got up, slowly, and while still looking at him, slipped the ring he had secretly made but not finished on her finger. Her left ring finger, where a wedding ring should have gone, because of how the vein there apparently lead to the heart (something Seiko had told her, a long time ago when there had still been hope for them). Then, she unbuttoned her coat and shrugged it off, before covering him with it. It was woefully short, but it was the best she could do, and so she just left it. At least this way, she could leave him with some dignity-all she could do.
Shivering in her thin jumper, she straightened again, looked around and her gaze landed on Kirigiri. Wordlessly, she held out her hand, and though Kirigiri raised an eyebrow in that judgemental way again, she seemed to know what Ruruka was after, and tossed her Seiko's mask. This, she slipped on over her face and adjusted. The fit was strange, given their different face-shapes, but the discomfort paled in comparison to anything else, so she didn't mind.
"Uhm…Andou-san, what are you…." Mitarai asked. She rolled her eyes, some of her energy coming back to her, despite her hollowness and shivering, and was about to answer him when all of a sudden, some sort of cloth fell over her head and obscured her vision.
Yanking it off, she stared at the black blazer for a moment, and then whipped around to glare at Kizakura, who had stood up at this point, casually observing her with a curious look on his face. He shrugged.
"Hey, I don't need it. I've got this to keep me warm." Kizakura waved a hip-flask at her. She snorted, despite herself and put it on. The sleeves were too long, so she pushed them up to her elbows, and then she looked around again, before spotting one of Yoi's hand-made knives on the floor, apparently abandoned. Again ignoring everyone, she went to get it, tested the feel of it in her hand, weighing it up. Yoi would never make anything like this, or her ring, ever again. It was almost more than she could bear. But she had to. So she tightened her grip on the knife, held it by her side and stood up, before turning back to the three once again. They had gathered together, and were waiting for her.
This was it, where she moved forward. The story wasn't supposed to have ended here, she wasn't meant to be alone like this. It made no sense, there being a time without him, because there had never been one. She had always known him, always, and they were supposed to have continued together right up until the end. He was her protector, after all, the other half of her heart. She didn't know what to do without him, how she'd get through each day and moment alone.
Their story wasn't meant to have ended like this.
But at the same time, it hadn't.
Because now it had become her story. This love that had been found and that had now become lost was her story. The two-who had, for a short time been three-had now become one all alone. Even though she did not know how she would survive or live with just half a heart and did not particularly want to, she was damned if she was going to be struck down here. Her story would not end here, in this hellhole.
She would not let it end here.
So she took a deep breath, wiped the newest swelling of sadness away with her free hand, steeled her shoulders, and met the eyes of the three who were now waiting for her.
"I'm ready. Let's go."
To be honest it's the image in this end portion of the story-Ruruka's equivalent to battle-paint, if you will-that pretty much sparked the idea for this story. And I have no idea where that even came from...maybe I will draw it at some point.
But anyway, it was kind of nice writing something for this fandom again. I might do more, if another idea strikes me. Either way, again, I hope you enjoyed this and please do leave feedback!
