Graduation is a proud moment – you can tell by all the beaming and teary faces around, the flashing of the camera as you collect your diploma, the bouquet of flowers shoved your way as you walk out of the gates one last time as a student.
I felt a little overwhelmed too. Todo had given me a solid pat on the back, wishing me luck for the future and promising to contact me soon. We would be lifelong friends, I hope, because who knew what was going to happen from now on. Then he was gone.
"Mitakii!"
The sound of my mis-spoken name brought a smile to my face and I rubbed at the unshed tears in my eyes as a small figure latched itself to my leg.
"Congratulations!" Mahiro yelled, the brightest grin on his cherub face. I couldn't help but smile back and pick him up.
"Thank you, Mahiro."
He fidgeted a little and I struggled to lift him any higher than my shoulder. He had gotten so big in so little time.
"Misaki," Nii-san called out to me as he came running over. He was wearing his usual suit, but he looked quite frazzled – probably from shoving through the crowds in the ceremony. Once he got to me, he placed both arms on my shoulders. "Congratulations on graduating. I'm so proud of you. I'm sure… Mum and Dad too…"
He stopped talking to swallow the lump in his throat and I did the same. I actually succeeded in graduating from M University, the one my brother never got to go to. I've done what I needed to do and now, I could do what I wanted.
"Now, now," my sister-in-law comforted him with a light touch of the arm. Nii-san softened at the contact.
Then she turned to me, a gentle smile on her face. "It's meant to be a happy occasion. It was a great ceremony, Misaki. Congratulations and well done on graduating. I'm so happy for you. Mahiro, come here. We need to get that reservation at the restaurant and Misaki has people to see. Don't you?"
She gave me a knowing look.
I blushed a little and nodded. The little boy pouted as I lowered him down, but he obediently went back to his mother's side.
"Of course," Nii-san said with a cough to clear his throat, "You'll want to thank your teachers and speak to your friends. We'll be waiting at the restaurant. Usagi is coming too, isn't he?"
I nodded again but kept my gaze on the ground. Thankfully, he didn't seem to notice my awkward behaviour.
"Great, we'll see you there. Come on, Mahiro."
And the proud Takahashi family headed off with a final wave.
My respectable brother who cared for me up to adulthood, my kind sister-in-law who supported me in any way possible, my adorable nephew who loved me unconditionally. Would any of that change after today? Would I… Could I still call them family?
"Misaki."
That low voice. It melted my heart just listening to it and held back the tears that threatened to fall.
I turned around with a forced smile on my face.
"Usagi-san."
He didn't look very happy though, just as he usually was. His feline eyes were narrowed on me, his lips pulled taut and arms crossed to accent his perfectly fitted grey suit that matched the silver of his hair. He truly looked like the picture of a businessman.
"Come with me," he said, tone even.
I didn't even get a chance to respond. He had grabbed my hand – in public and in front of everybody at the university – and dragged me to the car park.
"W-wait!" I stammered, struggling to catch up with all the present in my arms.
But of course, Usagi-san didn't listen. I swore he even sped up, until we reached his bright red sportscar which could be seen lightyears away. And he pulled me into the front seat with him, the flowers, the chocolates, the goddamn diploma went flying to the back.
"Hey! Watch where –" I protested but Usagi-san had covered my lips with his.
It wasn't one of those passionate kisses I could melt into. This one was much gentler, more like a peck but nonetheless more endearing. And when he pulled away, his eyes were looking directly at me, like he always did, without restraint.
"Congratulations on your graduation, Misaki."
I blushed furiously.
"T-Thanks."
I was straddling Usagi and I was certain people outside could see us. It would be embarrassing to be caught like this on the day of graduation, so I tried to manoeuvre across to the passenger seat, but before I could manage that, Usagi-san had linked his arms around my waist.
"You're not going anywhere."
"B-but we need to get to the restaurant."
"We have time."
He leans into the crook of my neck, sucking on the skin and making me tremble. As much as I wished I could indulge in it, this was the day we needed to be on time. It wouldn't make a good impression if we showed up late and in a mess.
"Usagi-san," I protested, shoving him away gently, "We can't. We need to go. Nii-san will be waiting for us."
"Takahiro can wait."
"No, he can't. Not today."
Usagi-san looked me in the eye and I tried to look stern. I couldn't give in no matter what. We had both decided today would be the day we finally told him. It would mean a new start for us.
"Misaki, there's no rush," he said slowly.
And for a second, I wondered if he didn't want to, even though we had spent nights worrying over this problem. But Usagi-san would never. He wasn't insecure about things like this. No. He was trying to be considerate. He was worried about me.
I shook my head, as if to clear my head.
"I want to. Today. Now. And then… we can… be us."
I didn't know what I was saying, if it made any sense. Although this was the turning point of our relationship, it simultaneously felt like nothing would change. When I went back home, it wouldn't be Nii-san that greeted me, but Usagi-san. It was always Usagi-san.
"For today, wouldn't you like to just focus on celebrating your graduation?"
I bit my lip.
To be honest, I had been thinking about it. We could have a nice dinner and life would go on as usual. And then the next time that Nii-san mentions moving out or finding a girlfriend or not to rely on Usagi-san, I would tell him directly.
But…
"It would make me happy if we could tell him together, now. I'm a real adult now, right?"
I gave him a confident smile.
Usagi-san looked at me, as if testing me. And then he pulled me down for another kiss, this time more desperate, more giving.
Our drive to the restaurant was silent but restless. My hands were clenched into fists and I kept thinking about how to word it.
The good thing was Nee-san already knew. I'm glad I managed to tell her before this; she had given me a lot of support. Even so, I couldn't predict what Nii-san's response would be. Would he be disgusted? Disappointed? Distraught?
I had come to the conclusion long ago that I had to stay with Usagi-san. I had to. It was part of my life. But it didn't make it any easier to tell Nii-san. He was my only family.
"Misaki, we're here."
I gulped.
"We don't have to do this today," he repeated, clearly anxious. I could see his brows pushing together.
"We are," I assured him, with a firm nod. Then I opened the door and stared at the restaurant entrance.
Usagi-san had wanted a really fancy steakhouse/French/expensive place and I had wanted a family restaurant. He had insisted that he would be paying but Nii-san had intercepted him, so here we are, at some sushi place that he picked.
"Wait."
I turned back to see Usagi-san striding to me with determination.
"What is it?" I asked, concerned. Did he change his mind or something?
"Your tie," he said, as he adjusted the damn thing on my neck. "It's crooked."
"Thanks."
He smirked, "From start to end you still can't do your tie right."
I flushed red. "It's your fault! I told you I didn't need a new suit. It's the material of this tie. It's too silky and nice. I can't use it."
I grew even more flustered when I thought back to how Usagi-san had bought it without my permission and insisted it was a graduation present, and if I didn't take it then there would be a lot more coming my way.
I had sighed, thinking of all the ridiculous stuff he got me. Honestly, this guy had no concept of money.
"It fits you perfectly," he said smoothly and took my hand.
I wanted to argue with him, tell him we were in public, say that this suit was making me all itchy, but the warmth of his hand covering mine calmed my nerves a little. It was strange. His hand was always cold – I think it's because of all the writing he does – but when it's touching me, I feel warm. I wonder what it is.
"A reservation for Takahashi," Usagi-san spoke clearly to the waiter.
I was self-conscious about our hand-holding. Now I was only an inch away from Usagi, making us look even more intimate than if we were only holding hands. Plus, I was sure my face was beetroot red.
"Of course," the waiter said, "This way please."
He began to walk towards the back, concealed by the rows of customers. I found myself holding my breath.
Was this the way I was going to announce it? Just walk in holding Usagi-san's hand? Would Nii-san understand right away?
"Misaki."
"Mm?"
He let go of my hand.
"I'll be right by your side."
I smiled at him, "I know."
And then I walked in front of him, following the waiter instead. This was the one thing I wanted to do by myself. I had told him, and he had respected my decision. And that was enough for me to know this was the right thing to do.
"Misaki! Usagi! Good to see you."
Nii-san got up from his seat to give Usagi a hug while Mahiro came over to drag me to sit next to him. I laughed nervously, knowing that if I sat next to my nephew then I would be further away from Usagi-san.
"Mahiro, you haven't asked Misaki yet," Nee-san reprimanded.
"Mitaki…"
He sounded like he wanted to cry.
"If you act that way then Misaki won't want to take you out anymore," she chided him, "Come sit with Mama for today. It's Misaki's special day. You have to let him do what he wants, right?"
Mahiro sniffled but nodded.
Man, Nee-san is so cool. She's such a good mother.
She lifted her head up to give me a supportive nod. And I couldn't help but think how lucky I was to have her in my life. Nii-san really did have a good eye for women.
I seated myself opposite Mahiro so I could keep talking to him but sit next to Usagi-san, although it seemed that Usagi-san and Nii-san were doing that thing where the world didn't exist anymore. They were reminiscing about something I didn't know about and laughing much too hard. I almost hated it, the way Usagi-san didn't seem like Usagi-san but a proper adult. He was one, of course. It just wasn't the Usagi-san I knew.
"Are you going to do anything now that you've graduated?" Nee-san asked.
"Oh, Usagi-san and I were planning to take a trip. After today," I added a little too sombrely.
"That sounds nice," she smiled, "Mahiro, you wanted to ask Misaki something too."
"Yeah! Mitaki, I want you to come to my sports festival!"
"Huh?"
"It's next month! I'm going to run as fast as I can and you're much faster than Papa," he beamed, "If we run together, we could win."
"Right…"
"Would that be alright, Misaki?" Nee-san asked softly, "I know you'll be busy but it's a big family event. If it wouldn't take too much of your time…"
"No. No, not at all," I answered much too quietly. But I felt as though if I spoke any louder then my voice would break and I would start crying, too early into dinner.
Just the thought that Nee-san and Mahiro would still…
"Mitaki, we could do practice together!"
"Mahiro," his mother warned again, "Misaki has work too. You need to be considerate."
I let out a little laugh. "I'll definitely be there to help you win, Mahiro."
"Yay!" he clapped his hands together, "I'm going to win!"
Nee-san sighed, "Honestly, you two brothers are spoiling him rotten."
"What did I hear about you winning?" Nii-san asked, finally wrapping up his adult conversations with Usagi-san on the side. Both of them came to sit down but now our attention was on Mahiro. I didn't even notice that Usagi-san had slipped his hand over mine again under the table.
"Mitaki is going to the sports festival with me!"
"Really? What about Papa?"
"Mitaki can run faster."
I never saw my brother so heartbroken. Even Usagi-san gave a little laugh. "We're not getting any younger," he commented, giving my hand a light squeeze.
I blushed a little.
"Shall we get some sake?" Usagi-san suggested.
"Usagi-san, Mahiro…" I glowered at him.
"No, no. Usagi is right. It's a special occasion. It's alright. Right, dear?" Nii-san waited for Nee-san to give a somewhat begrudged nod before he waved at the waiter. He ordered the most expensive one and for three cups.
"Usagi-san, you can't drink," I quickly remarked, "You're driving."
"I can take the train," he shrugged as he filled up the cups, "It's a special occasion."
Nii-san laughed as he raised his cup. "Too right. To Misaki's graduation!"
And with a shake of my head I took a sake cup and sipped at it. I really needed to be sober for this, but I suppose a little alcohol might help.
"But really, I can't believe four years flew by, just like that." Nii-san gave me a long look, almost nostalgic. "You've grown so much."
I gulped.
"When I met Misaki, he was just a little brat," Usagi-san smirked as he licked his lips, "Getting failed during the last year of high school and still expecting to get into M University."
"I graduated, didn't I?" I pouted, annoyed that he had to bring it up on my best day. "Plus, you willingly offered to help me."
"After you begged me," he muttered.
"Usagi-san!"
Nii-san laughed, "That really was a long time ago, huh? And now you've lived with Usagi too."
Past tense.
My palms were sweating at this point and I knew Usagi-san felt it.
"Mahiro, let me take you to the bathroom," Nee-san urged, "You don't want to have to leave the table during dinner, right?"
She ushered his away despite his protests that 'I can go by myself' and 'I want to stay with Mitaki'. But internally, I thanked her and hoped that it would give us enough time to explain ourselves. I tightened my grip on Usagi-san's hand.
"What are your plans for moving out then, Misaki?" Nii-san asked, "I didn't think we'd bring it up today but since Usagi is here, it's a good chance to get things sorted. I wouldn't want him to bother you after all this time, Usagi. I know you two get along well but he has to move out some time and become more independent."
He took a long, slow drink.
"Takahiro, I –"
"Nii-san, I –"
We looked at each other, cutting each other off again.
"Usagi-san, let me say it," I urged him, "You promised."
He receded rather reluctantly but leaned back on the chair. Now, Nii-san was paying more attention. At least he wasn't drinking anymore.
"What is it? Have you decided to move in? I told you –" he began again, and I prepared myself to interject.
If I spoke quickly enough, then it would get through to him without any more confusion. I had to tell him the nature of our relationship. What his brother and his best friend had been doing the past four years together. I had to tell him now.
Hi guys! Long time no see! This fanfic was inspired by the latest chapter - I just couldn't wait until Misaki finally tells his brother, so I had to write this.
Please do leave a review to let me know what you think - or what you think should happen. I'm open to suggestions and I'm so happy to be back and writing! Expect regular updates because I'm so excited about this! Ahh!
Thanks for reading! Until next time.
