Hey, Guys! I realized I haven't posted in a really long time so I decided to post something.

Title: Give it Back!

Summary: In which Harry steals stuff from a certain individual for fun, Hermione is pissed, and Lavender is confused.

Genre: Humor/Friendship

Prompt(s): Dark curses used for idiotic purposes.

Warning: Absolute Crack and extremely AU. Characters will be OOC. Non beta-ed.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, Fred wouldn't have died and Wormtail's death would be more painful. Now, on to the story!


It started with a quill.

Harry had forgotten his that day, and he knew Hermione, still having muggle tendencies, carried hers around in a pencil pouch.

He stole one of them, and used it. At the end of the day, he decided to keep it, because she wouldn't notice one missing, right?

Yeah, no. Keep dreaming, Harry.

When she noticed, she interrogated every girl in Gryffindor Tower, as well as students from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Harry relished in the sheer chaos that resulted.

Since then, he had stolen little things from her and gleefully watched the chaos that unfolded, all without getting caught. Some would call it Kleptomania. Harry called it his Marauder tendencies.

Which brought them to what was happening now.

He had felt restless recently and decided he needed to do something dramatic, although he normally hated drama.

Naturally, he decided he needed to steal her hairbrush. Obviously, she caught him.

"Give it back!", she screeched at the top of her lungs, lunging for him."I'm going to kill you, and I'm going to enjoy it!"

He danced out of her reach, holding her hairbrush above his head. "Keep trying, maybe you'll get it someday!"

"You little -", she started, before tripping over Parvati's trunk. "Carnificina!", she shrieked, pointing her wand at him.

He dodged the dark pain curse effortlessly, as she chased after him, hoping to reclaim what was hers. Finally, she caught him and smirked.

"You're the one who's been stealing my stuff, aren't you?" she snapped.

"What are you two doing?!" a new voice shrieked.

Harry and Hermione froze.

"Harry, why are you in the girls' dorms, and Hermione, I thought you said you were going to make your books take up less space, not create a mess!"

Harry and Hermione turned to face each other in horror.

"I thought you put up silencing charms!" Hermione hissed.

"I did!" Harry hissed back.

"Then how did Lavender catch us?" she snapped.

"You two do realize I can hear you, right?" Lavender asked, eye twitching.

Harry slipped into "Innocent Mode", as Hermione called it.

"I didn't do anything," he said, with a perfect impassive mask. "It was all Hermione."

Hermione's jaw dropped. "Liar!" she hissed, turning to glare at him.

"Now, you two can explain why you thought it was a good idea to run around the dorm room and make a lot of noise." Lavender said flatly.

Harry and Hermione exchanged looks. This was going to take a while.


Finished! For anyone wondering, the reason Lavender was so nice is because I am firmly against her and Parvati being bad people. Also, AU. Can you guys give me story ideas?

Review, Please!