October 13th 1977 (some time in the evening)
Black,
I need your help.
I have a problem. A big one.
Can you help me? Please? I'm desperate.
Tell no one. Not even Remus.
Infact burn this letter after reading it.
Sincerely,
Lily Evans
Miss Evans,
I wish I could pretend that your letter didn't surprise me Evans, but it did. Why on earth are you asking me for help? You have more than enough friends of your own.
Remus and Mary for example. Both of which are superb advise givers. Why do you have to bother me: somebody you've made no effort to hide your dislike for all these years?
However, despite the blatant maltreatment of myself and my dearest friend, I want to know what this big secret problem is. So I'll help.
Shoot.
Curious
Mr Black
Black,
Firstly, I don't dislike you; I just don't fawn over you like the rest of the school. There's a difference.
Secondly, I can't tell Mary or Remus for that matter, as they'd drop dead of shock if they knew. I prefer having LIVING friends thank you very much. They'd probably blow this way out of proportion anyway. Trust me it's a big enough as it is.
You, however, know enough to help me. I'm assuming. Just keep this quiet; I'd rather nobody knew that we were corresponding. It'd ruin my good reputation.
- BURN AFTER READING -
L Evans
My dearest Evans
Are you suggesting that you don't give a damn if I drop dead of shock or not?
That hurts, hurts me real deep.
I'm mortally offended that you think I'd spread the fact that your writing me letters around. I'd rather James didn't maul me to death. Let alone what it would do to my reputation. I mean you are ginger.
If you're going to risk my life, kindly drop the pompous formality. I can't be doing with the McGonagall-like phrasing outside of a classroom.
So what's the gossip Carrot-top?
S Black
Black,
What's wrong with gingers!? My hair colour is beautiful.
And I'm not pompous. I just didn't... oh never mind.
I actually do care if you drop dead of shock Black. If you do my life will be a lot quieter.
And perhaps you wouldn't be so sick of "McGonagall- like" phrases if you spent less time in detention?
- BURN AFTER READING -
Outraged,
L.E
Head girl of Hogwarts, NOT carrot top
October 14th 1977 Breakfast
Dear Miss I-love my-hair-so much Evans,
May I remind you that:
a) It was YOU that asked ME for help- therefore you should be extra nice to me in your letters
b) You haven't actually told me what this "big impossible problem" is yet- so why do I need to burn all these letters after I read them?
c) There is nothing wrong with gingers in general. They're just overly hot-tempered and burn at the slightest appearance of sunlight
d) You can't deny the above point- you nearly burnt James' eyebrows off last week in DADA
e) I have a limited attention span- tell me what you know!!
Kind regards,
S.B
History of Magic
S.B
I don't know how to express it. I haven't admitted this to anybody before. I haven't even said it out loud. Merlin, this is pathetic. Ok here it goes…
Wait first you have to swear not to tell a soul. That's why all my letters have to be destroyed- nobody can ever know.
I want you to swear on your prowess as a marauder.
Promise me that if you tell one single person you'll have to give up pranking for life.
Or quit the Quidditch team.
Or kiss Bellatrix.
Or possibly all of the above. Promise?
- BURN AFTER READING -
L.E
L.E
You're not demanding at all are you Evans? (note the sarcasm)
But Ok. Not a soul.
I promise. Marauder's honour.
NOW TELL ME!!
Impatiently yours
S.B
Very late that evening
I think I fancy James
L.E
Oh.
Hang on…
James?
James Potter?
My James Potter?
"Arrogant bullying toe rag" Potter?
Seriously?
Lily are you feeling Ok?
How many of those prank chocolates I left in the common room did you eat?
S.B
S.B
Yes, James. Understand my predicament?
You sent the chocolates? I ate a few- they were addressed to me. Why? What did you do to them?!
Scared for her life,
L.E
James lover Evans,
There's nothing wrong with them. Just a friendly gesture from one James lover to another. They certainly did not contain copious amounts of fire whisky. No.
No. I don't understand your predicament.
Do you want to go out with him or not?
S.B
S.B
Well yes I do want to, but it's more complicated than that.
I'm NOT a James-lover. I just like him.
And don't you ever spike my confectionary again.
Hooligan
- BURN AFTER READING -
Lily
A/N opinions so far? Review please, more letters to come. Poor owl must be exhausted.
