Hey guys! :)
Sooo, this is my first fanfiction ever. This idea struck me after I watched the summer finale. Besides I was inspired by the concept of the film "If I stay" and the fanfiction "Collateral Damage" by choose joy xox. But it's also kind of different, you will see in the next chapters.
Please note that I'm not a native speaker but I try my best to write grammatical correct sentences in English. Furthermore I had some problems with converting the file. I'm really sorry if the format is not as it's supposed to be!
Spoiler Alert: If you haven't watched seasons 1 to 7, you should not read this.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars or the wonderful characters Sara Shepard and I. Marlene King created.
Toby POV
We are on our way out of Rosewood. Yvonne and I are silently driving in my new truck. It's not like I don't like the new one, it's just simply not the truck Spencer gave me, when we were still in high school. A sad smile spreads across my face, as my mind wanders to her and the kiss we shared this afternoon. Spencer.
Honestly, right now I'm starting to regret my decision of leaving. Especially after the things that transpired between me and Spencer this afternoon, I can't stop thinking about her. It was one hell of a kiss. It was so familiar and nonetheless so new and exciting. I mean, why did she kiss me like that? The whole thing felt like we travelled back in time. If Spencer hadn't stopped it, I'm almost positive that I wouldn't have been able to restrain myself. But does she still have romantic feelings for me? No, Toby, snap out of it, she's probably dating detective Furey at the moment. You even offered to give him some advice on the matter. However something deep inside me began to stir again. It probably has always been there, maybe I just became better at denying and hiding it.
Right now I'm confused. Spencer was my first love and perhaps it's normal. You'll presumably always have feelings for your first love. Though being jealous first of Caleb and then of Marco, because he wants to protect her and date her like I did all those years ago? The feeling of heartbreak as I watched her sad expression, when we said goodbye? An increasing heartrate and butterflies while exchanging salvia? The tingling sensation she left on my lips? The tears I shed right after she turned around? Who am I kidding?
Yet on the other hand there's Yvonne. She's always been so kind and faithful to me and I made the promise to spend the rest of my life with her. I feel a pang of guilt. I cheated on her. And not just with any woman. She didn't want to become second choice. However now that's exactly what she is. And if I'm being completely honest with myself she always was. She deserves better than that.
Spencer's my soulmate, she's the one. Come on, for gods sake Toby, you built her a freaking house! How could you be so stupid and not accept that sooner? Well, I know why. Like Spencer always said, hope breeds eternal misery and I tried to move on. I wish I had stopped Spencer from leaving, while I still had the chance to do so. What am I thinking, if I could, I would go back in time and slap my 20 year old self for breaking up with her in the first place. All she needed was some time and space to work out her PTSD. Who could have blamed her after all that she's been through? And stupid me could not see, that this wasn't a "no" to a future with me and maybe children. She was just not able deal with the prospect of a future, after being tortured for so long. Surviving day by day and not thinking further, taking one step at a time, was difficult enough for her at that time. And on top of it the angst of possibly taking care of another human being and accompanied with it another loss of control for your own life. This would have cracked anyone. Why didn't I realize it back then? How could I have been so stupid? Driving through the streets of Rosewood, my thoughts drift back to the night I told Spencer she'll never be alone, not even for a second. I broke that promise again and again. Guilt washed over me.
The closer we come to the outskirts of Rosewood, the more uncomfortable I feel. At least, I finally have made up my mind. I decide to break up with Yvonne rather now than later. However my internal struggle does not go unnoticed by Yvonne and she beats me to the punch by bringing up the touchy subject herself. "Toby, I'll just ask you one last time and I want you to be completely honest with me. Are you 100% sure you want to leave town with me? Because I'm not willing to be anything less than the most important woman in your life." It's now or never, Toby. "Yvonne, I'm sorry...It's not... I, I..." I stutter. "That's what I thought! It's because of Spencer, isn't it?"she asks, starring daggers at me.
Before I can answer her question, my handy signals me I have a new message. She looks down at the bright screen and angrily blinks away her tears. That's when I realize what it is. It's a picture of me and Spencer kissing this afternoon.
You never get away with lies, don't you know by now? If you think I make leaving easy for you after you uncovered my false identity, you underestimate me, Toby. Tell her or I will. And just so you know, two-timing Bitches get burried in Rosewood. - A.D.
"I can't believe you're doing this to me! Why did you even propose? You know what, we're done Toby!" she huffs enraged and throws the ring into my lap. "And who the hell is A.D.?" Speechless, I open and close my mouth like a fish in the water.
Suddenly I have a new feeling in my gut and it has nothing to do with the break-up. I feel concerned and anxious and the feeling soon turns into sheer panic. My heart starts racing and my palms are sweaty. At first I don't understand why, but then it hits me. There's something terribly wrong. Right as we are about to pass the "You are leaving Rosewood"-sign, I feel a stabbing pain in my chest. "Spencer" I mumble right before it all becomes a blur of blinding lights, honking, Yvonne's screams and crashing sounds. And then everything went black.
I wake up to the sound of an approaching siren and the flashing of red and blue lights. Despite the hard impact, I don't feel any pain. I slowly take in my surroundings. The truck seems to be wrapped around a tree and there's blood everywhere.
I see the arrived parademics taking care of Yvonne and calmly giving orders to each other."She is stable for now!" one of them says. The other one replies: "I know. It's the back injury that worries me. The poor thing might be paralyzed. We have to be careful while putting her on a stretcher!"
Oh my god! What have I done? I can hardly bear the thought that Yvonne might possibly be unable to walk because of me. While I blame myself for the accident, another man in his 40's asks the doctor to look after the driver. "I'm okay!" I whisper, as I cautiously step out of the car. No one really seems to notice me and when I look down, I seem totally fine. That's why my heart almost does a backflip, when I see the doctor run past me to the drivers side and I see myself sitting there with my head lying over the steering wheel and covered in blood. What's going on? Is this all just a dream? Am I dead? I start to wonder, as I hear the doctor shout. "It's barely there, but we have a pulse. Hurry up, we have to bring him to the hospital immediately!"
Spencer POV
I hit the ground before I feel any pain. As it slowly begins to sink in that I was shot merely a moment ago, I start to panic and I barely manage to breath. So this is it, I'm going to die. I'm almost sure of it. My mind begins to wander to the only person, who I wish was here right by my side. I'm sure a dreamy smile flashes across my face at the thought of him and our last kiss. Toby.
At least I got the chance to say goodbye to him. I know I shouldn't have kissed him. He is engaged for Pete's sake, Spencer! I just couldn't resist. While we kissed, it was like fireworks exploded inside my chest. I finally felt at home again. Something I didn't feel for a very long time. Maybe it's because Toby is my soulmate and he's the one for me. For a split second I was under the impression Toby felt it too and he wanted to go in for another kiss. However I probably just imagined things, since he didn't. Honestly it cost all of my willpower to pull back, even though I knew this was so wrong. I corrupted the most honest and loyal person in this world to cheat on his fiancé. Nevertheless I have to admit I kind of hoped he would stop me from leaving. But then again, you know what they say about hope, it breeds eternal misery. And I didn't want to ruin everything for him again. I always do that. Messing up, pushing the people away that I love the most.
I hear Jennas voice and panic strikes me again. I gasp for air. All I can think of now is the memory of Toby's beautiful voice and his ability to even out my breathing and ground me when times were rough. The soothing words he once told me play on a loop in my head: "The only thing I want you to know is that you're not alone, not even for a second." But where is Toby now? Once again, this thought is extremely selfish of me. He is presumably better off, if he doesn't have to see you pass away, Spencer, especially after all he went through with his mom. I mentally scold myself. Besides, I already know the answer to this rhetoric question. Toby is with Yvonne, because you sent him away, you cretin, duh. At least Toby is safe now. That's all that matters, right? And he is happy, Spencer. Without you. This thought almost kills me. As a matter of fact, it hurts more than the bullet I currently have in my chest right above my heart.
Another wave of panic washes over me as I keep thinking of Toby. Something seems off. I cannot quite pinpoint what it is, as a sudden pain aches through my heart. Then I realize it. "Toby!" I murmur softly. The next thing I see is the blurry figure of Mary Drake who appears above me. She puts her hand on my gunshot wound and tries to hush me with a song. Distantly, I hear the girls shrieking my name. Then out of the blue Mary confesses that I'm her daughter. I should be more shocked, but somehow I had this strange feeling for a while now. Nonetheless my eyes widen and I stare into her blue eyes. They remind me of Toby and that's the last person I think of as I slowly fade away and darkness consumes me.
Thank you sooo much for reading it! I hope you like it! :-)
