One of the many instances where I question my sanity and think, "What the muffins was I on?" This came to me in a dream one night when I was high off of Pixy Sticks and Red Bull(neither of which I own) . How was I able to sleep when I was wired enough to give a buffalo a heart attack? Well I'm just weird like that. I know I have others stories to do but I have had this on my mind for a while so I'm just going to post this and then work on my others. Anyways, enjoy~!

Summary:The story begins when Shuichi "cheats" on Yuki, happens when Eiri becomes a kidnapper, and ends when Akihiko files a law suit aganist Eiri.

...Misaki always knew that Usagi-san's BL novels would get him into trouble, he just didn't expect it to be this much!

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*The black hole of Romantica's Gravity*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter one: Shuichi, the cheater

He felt dirty.

Unbelievably dirty, he felt like everything he touched became soiled, ruined, disgusting, just like he was...

Now he was far from what one would call "grown up" or "sophisticated" or "smart" or-

Okay he was a stupid brat, big deal!

But he wasn't as naïve as every one thought he was, he knew things about the world and how it worked. He wasn't too dim enough to believe that everything between him and Yuki would remain perfect forever, no matter how much he wanted it too, it just wasn't real.

...He just got so lonely sometimes, it often felt like he was living alone, even when Yuki was home with him, it somehow got quieter when the author was home.

That's how it all started.

He was just walking around town one day. trying to get his mind off of his distant lover, enjoying the bustling commotion that only a big city could hope to create when he passed by a book store. Now, Shuichi was far from the reading type, heck, he could hardly read music! But he saw a poster advertising his Yuki new book, deciding to pore salt on the wound on a masochist's whim, Shuichi went in to get a closer look. To see the one thing that would forever remain top in Yuki's heart chart. Shuichi had come to understand that this was one mistress that he couldn't ever tear away from Yuki; there was no competition, no rivalry so to speak, he knew that he would never stand a chance against her.

As he picked up his most hated opponent and glanced at her personality, tragic but beautiful as always, something had caught his eye. There stood, right next to them, the most stunning person Shuichi had ever seen in his life. HE stood proudly and boldly as he sported a blue outfit with a colorful array of pinks and blues that seemed to only suit him.

Upon further inspection Shuichi found him to be a lonely kindered soul, just like himself, searching for that special someone that could bring life back into him. The young singer found himself feeling something he never felt before, he wanted to get to know this person, he wanted to know everything about HIM.

And for a while that's how it was, Shuichi and the stranger would meet up in that same book store, and sometimes in a rare occasion other book stores as well, and the stranger would reveal more and more about himself to the young musician, entrancing him more and more in his intentional web.

However, as time went on, people started to question Shu-chan on just where he went, why he never seemed to be home during their days off, why he never seemed to want to hang out anymore. Shuichi could only make up so many excuses that were believable for so long.

And eventually it happened, he was caught red handed by his best friend of forever, Nakano Hiroshi. It was completely by accident that Hiro discovered his dirty little secret; he just got back from his getting his bike fixed and saw Shuichi and his new love thru the window.

What sickened Shuichi though was that Hiro didn't seem to mind that it was actually Shuichi cheating on Yuki this time and not the other way around. In fact, Hiro encouraged this affair! He supported this "change of pace" as he liked to call it, saying that he was glad that Shu had found that special something that Yuki didn't seem to have in someone else.

After Hiro had discovered his sin everyone else started to as well. it got mixed feelings. Fujisaki seemed shocked, K and Sakano were neutral, Sakuma-san was sad that Shu didn't have time for him and Kuma-chan anymore now that he had a new "love",Seguchi-sama seemed oddly pleased with it but there was and underlings look in his eyes that made Shuichi a little jumpy. His adoreable sister, Maiko couldn't believe that her Shu-Oniichan could love anyone more than Yuki-niisama, and his mother, urgh, she could hardly contain her joy at Shuichi's new interest! Honestly, didn't anyone believe in the sanctity of faithfulness anymore?

Apparently not anyone he knew did.

The only ones who didn't know of this were; his fans, Tatsuha, Mika-san, and his lovely Yuki.

It was all going as smoothly as possible, like making a house of cards smoothly, but like that same stack, it all went tumbling down with the gust of wind known as a big mouth.

Why couldn't Yuki have a normal brother in stead of nosey Tatsuha?


"No one is currently home, if you like to leave a message, please wait AFTER (1), the tone!"

-Bbbeeepp!_

"Hey Shuichi! I found out that you really love -ccccccccccccrrrrrrrrr- cheating on my bro like that! If your wondering how I found out it's because Thoma told me, I was calling to see what big bro thought about sharing you with -ccccccccrrrrrrrr- I never would have thought -ccccccccrrrrrrrrr- that you would actually-ccccccccrrrrr- -ccccrrrr- Bro might want to watch out for Usami Akihiko's-ccccccccrrrrrr-, he might just take you away from him! Oh, and tell bro that I need to borrow some of his 'underware,' don't ask why I just need them!"

-Beep!-

It one of those time when one would never doubt the existence of irony when the famous novelist had chosen that particular time for a beer brake, at the exact same moment that the phone call had started.

...

...

Shuichi was so going to get kicked out of the house.


"WWAAAAHHH, HIRO! YUKI THREW ME OUT OF THE HOUSE!"

"Hm, already? Didn't he just let you back in yesterday? You didn't even last a day, that's got to be a new personal best Shuichi."

"HIRO YOU BASTARD! I JUST GOT KICKED OUT OF THE HOME I SHARED WITH THE LOVE OF MY EXISTANCE AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE?"

"Yeah pretty much."

"DIDN'T YOU SAY THE YOU WOULD BEHIND ME 100%! THAT 'YOUR DREAM IS MY DREAM?'"

"yeah."

"THEN WHY ARE YOU BEING A DICK AND NOT HELPING ME WITH YUKI?"

"Because I'm tired, try again tomarrow."

"YOU BASTARD! YOU WOULD RATHER SLEEP THEN HELP ME WIN BACK MY TRUE LOVE?"

"Yes."

"I HOPE YOUR DICK FALLS OFF WHEN YOU FINALLY ALMOST GET LUCKY WITH- HEY! DON'T IGNORE ME! HHHIIIIIRRRROOOO~!"

"Hey, why did Yuki-san kick you out for anyway?"

"I-!... Don't know, I wasn't even noisy!"

"..."

"Okay I was, but it wasn't the usual noisy!"

"Hmm, maybe he working on his latest novel or something."

"H-hiro, you don't think he could've found out about, you know who, do you?"

"About Usami Akihiko-"

"Sshh!"

"Shuichi, it's not like anyone is secretly listening in on our conversations or anything, it's just us here."

"Seguchi-sama might be!"

"Yeah because our boss would totally go out of his way to make sure to put a bug in the houses of everyone who works for him just because he-...Actually he really might do that. Even so, it's not like you're doing anything wrong, so there no need to worry about it."

"How can you say I'm not doing anything wrong? I like a book another man wrote over the work of my wonderfully sexy novelist! That's considered cheating in the world of art! I've been cheating on my lovely, wonderful, darilng Yuki with another man!"

"Shuichi, just because you prefer another person's book over Yuki-san's doesn't mean your cheating on him. In fact I'm sure Yuki-san would encourage your new hobby too if he knew that it made you a whole lot quieter."

"No! Yuki must never find out about my moments of weakness, it's a secret that I'll take to the grave!"

"You know he's going to find out someday, and it's not that big a deal! It's just a book."

"It's not just a book! How would you feel if your special someone preferred that crappy guitarist from that new band, (2)L' Arc~en~Ciel, over your awesome skills?"

"First of all, that won't ever happen because that guy probably can't even tell the difference between an A-cord and a G-string. Secondly, I would have let it go, some people are just better than other at certain things, you can't be the best at everything you do."

"Yuki can! It's just me and my whorish ways that are ruining things!"

"Shuichi just relax, everything will work out fine in it's own time. Just wait until Yuki-san cools down and see what you did wrong in the morning."

"Okay, fine...Hey do you really think that this L'Arc~en~Ciel band is going to be bad?"

"Trust me, they don't stand a chance."


A week later at N-G studios

"And in other news: L'Arc~en~Ciel took the top spot in the Oricon(3) charts this week, their debut single, 'Daybreak's Bell' took the music industry by storm! It looks like the guys from Bad Luck better look out for this new and exciting group! Now back to you Satoshi~!"

.

.

.

"...Well, fuck.."


You didn't think that Shuichi would actually cheat on Yuki did you?

(1)Was I the only one that thought that the answering machine sounded a little too agressive in the OVA?

(2) I love L'Arc~en~Ciel, this was sort of an inside joke.

(3) Oricon is the Asian music ranking chart.

Next time: "Whoa, Bro! Don't you think you're taking this a little too far?"

"...No, not really."

"This is a federal crime!"

"When has that ever stopped us before?"

"It's not like before! We are kidnapping and to make matters worse we'er abducting Usami Akihiko's-!"

" I can get you some 'alone time' with that idiot singer you like so much."

"...Damn. Alright fine, let's do this."

Next time: Yuki, the kidnapper!